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Edge - Improve Your Surroundings, Improve Your Mood

PushYourEdge

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I wanted to post something that I've had success with. This is in the realm of self-improvement across the board, but certainly does have an impact on my results in my dating life as well. The topic is how I've found my environment can positively or negatively affect me, beyond what I originally thought.

To illustrate my point:

If someone is talking in your native language, you can’t not understand them. You can’t not interpret the words they’re saying. Once you understand the language, your brain automatically will decode and interpret it - you do not have a choice or an on/off switch.

But that’s just language. When you see a picture of something, you can’t not interpret what it is a picture of… if you see a picture of a human face, you will recognize it as such. It is automatic.

Let’s take this further. If you are listening to music that evokes a certain emotion or that speaks to a certain mindset, you can’t not be affected on some level. It will have SOME degree of an effect.

Same with shows you watch, books you read, websites you visit, radio shows you listen to, etc. Everything you allow into your environment will have some degree of influence on you because our brains are designed to automatically interpret and process input.

Now I am NOT a victim-thinker. I do not think that we are powerless to the environment or that we can’t overcome harmful environmental conditions. What I am saying is that we need to acknowledge that the environment and what we allow in our environment DOES have a cumulative impact on us.

I do many things to make sure that my “input” is helping me along to get where I want to go:

I watch very little TV.
I stopped listening to angry and/or depressing music (I used to love it).
I stopped reading and/or listening to angry people (even if they were funny to read or listen to).
I make an active effort to think about how living in the life I want feels (experiencing the feeling of “having” my desired life.)
I visualize the life I want.
I take care of things that have to get done quickly, so they don’t pile up and bring my mood down.
I keep my living space clean and inspiring (as best I can.)
I pat myself on the back when I succeed and I do not beat myself up when I mess up.
I make an effort to notice the good things in my life and be grateful for them.

When I started making an effort to clean up my environment and what ideas/vibes I was around, my life improved. These days I feel much better than I used to - I am way more productive and I am much happier.
 

ChalengeGuyFan

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Well said!
I started doing the same things a while back and they certainly make a difference.
 

Night Owl

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Me thinks somebody has been reading the Secret.....

But good on you - I have taken a similar road too and watch little TV, never listen to the news or read a newspaper and be careful what I allow myself to be come exposed to. It works a treat and feel a million times better.

I have even stopped coming on to this forum as much as it is full of suffocating negatively. People you are so negative. I was the same, and didn't realize how much negative stuff there is out there to keep you down. You are bombarded with the negative stuff from the minute you open your eyes to the second you close them again at bedtime.

People on this planet are sitting under a huge self created black cloud.

Start today - turn off the news, don't read the newspaper. If you have to watch TV, only watch thing you want and turn off, and mute the sound through all the adverts too. Only listen to feel good songs, and avoid those negative mates like the plague.

After listening to banging rock music for thirty years, I discovered that the sweetest song is in fact total silence. It's so refreshing, and hard to find especially in a city, but well worth seeking out. That 60's song "Silence is golden' sums it up.

We are all seeking happiness, and one big way to help that feeling is to try and ban all negative stuff out of your life and out of your head.

Live long, and for god sake enjoy !!
 

Interceptor

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I watch very little TV.
I stopped listening to angry and/or depressing music (I used to love it).
I stopped reading and/or listening to angry people (even if they were funny to read or listen to).
I make an active effort to think about how living in the life I want feels (experiencing the feeling of “having” my desired life.)
I visualize the life I want.
I take care of things that have to get done quickly, so they don’t pile up and bring my mood down.
I keep my living space clean and inspiring (as best I can.)
I pat myself on the back when I succeed and I do not beat myself up when I mess up.
I make an effort to notice the good things in my life and be grateful for them.

Excellent list.
I hope many people on this board read this and follow it too.
 

slaog

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Music is an interesting one. My musical tastes have definetly changed over the past 12 - 18 months. I used to listen to angry, depressing music etc ie Radiohead, Nirvana etc etc. It had that similar energy that I was drawn to. Law of attraction at work.


My GF mostly listens to romantic type music. I tease her about it but I don't mind. She's very feminine and I'm thinking that suits her personality.


In future to get an idea of what a person is like I'll ask them what sort of music they listen to. :D
 

Demodulate

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so essentially shut yourself out to the real world?

I dont see how keeping up on current events, i.e. news, newspaper, is going to wreck your life.. especially in these distressed times.. quite the opposite.. I think you need to be up and aware of whats going on in order to navigate the real world and your real life..

I dont see how listening to angry music is so bad. quite honestly anger drives.. in my youth when I snowboarded and skated anger would get me back up after a wreck..

yeah anyway... i am not going to stick my head in the sand so i can feel good about myself..

nor am I going to supress something that angers me..

im a man.. I can deal with what life throws at me...
 

slaog

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Demodulate said:
so essentially shut yourself out to the real world?

I dont see how keeping up on current events, i.e. news, newspaper, is going to wreck your life.. especially in these distressed times.. quite the opposite.. I think you need to be up and aware of whats going on in order to navigate the real world and your real life..

yeah anyway... i am not going to stick my head in the sand so i can feel good about myself..

nor am I going to supress something that angers me..

im a man.. I can deal with what life throws at me...

It's not about sticking your head in the sand or shuting out the 'real' world. It's about surrounding yourself with positive things rather then negative things.


Instead of not wanting to supress your anger ask yourself why are you angry in the first place. I believe thats the point of the thread.


Wolf said:
Uh oh, I listen to last decade's music and alternative. I guess that makes me old and weird huh?

I listen to some 60's music. I'm feeling more like a grandad every dad. :D
 

Night Owl

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"Instead of not wanting to supress your anger ask yourself why are you angry in the first place"

Do not seek answers; seek to understand the questions !!
 

KarmaSutra

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Night Owl said:
"Instead of not wanting to supress your anger ask yourself why are you angry in the first place"

Do not seek answers; seek to understand the questions !!

OOohhH This is an intriguing question.

Nice to see a brother thinking outside of the collective.
 

PumpingIron13

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I kinda agree with him though, reading the news and newspapers isnt gonna bring you down...Watching excessive tv is definitely not a good thing either but by having a busy and productive life already you wont watch a lot of TV. Plus there is plenty of good **** on all the time that I enjoy to watch on Discovery channel or even the occasional spongebob squarepants...(something that actually comes in quite handy when im spitting game at girls)...

Ill definitely agree that those things can affect you negatively, ESPECIALLY music, but thats only if you let it get to you that way...if I try to get with a girl or if something happens between a current girl Im dating I might be sad but Ill deal with it by listening to happy music or even sometimes raging bar music (dropkick murphys) and ill just have beers with friends and that is always usually the best therapy, however I dont lock myself in my room stair out my window and listen to emo music on purpose to make myself feel worse...

Anyways for the most part hes right, its not just about surrounding yourself with positive ****...its about making everything positive... and ultimately...just have a cold heart to women lol
 

PushYourEdge

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Demodulate said:
so essentially shut yourself out to the real world?

I dont see how keeping up on current events, i.e. news, newspaper, is going to wreck your life.. especially in these distressed times.. quite the opposite.. I think you need to be up and aware of whats going on in order to navigate the real world and your real life..

I dont see how listening to angry music is so bad. quite honestly anger drives.. in my youth when I snowboarded and skated anger would get me back up after a wreck..

yeah anyway... i am not going to stick my head in the sand so i can feel good about myself..

nor am I going to supress something that angers me..

im a man.. I can deal with what life throws at me...
OK - so your response starts out interpretting my message as saying "stick your head in the sand", then you defend against why you shouldn't do that. That's great, but I never said stick your head in the sand.

Actually, I agree with you not to stick your head in the sand. In fact, I'm saying take your head OUT of the sand and start paying attention with the way that different things in your environment affect and inspire you. Everyone is different. For you, listening to angry music motivates you to take action in a positive way. So definitely USE that. I would completely advocate that.

On the other hand, if listening to angry music makes you prone to being more hostile, then that's a bad thing. And for me, I KNOW that when I start listening to angry rappers and angry heavy metal for a few weeks, I tend to be more moody and hostile.

It's great to say that you're a man and that you handle stuff, but that really depends on your definition of "being a man" and "handle". I'm not trying to be a **** or anything, but saying that is just a hollow statement that sounds good, but has no substance.

As for the news... yeah, I *glance* at the news, but I don't read it in any great depth. 10% of what's on the news is worth knowing. The rest is just negative bull**** to sell newspapers. It's a negatively skewed version of reality.
 

PushYourEdge

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PumpingIron13 said:
I kinda agree with him though, reading the news and newspapers isnt gonna bring you down...Watching excessive tv is definitely not a good thing either but by having a busy and productive life already you wont watch a lot of TV. Plus there is plenty of good **** on all the time that I enjoy to watch on Discovery channel or even the occasional spongebob squarepants...(something that actually comes in quite handy when im spitting game at girls)...

Ill definitely agree that those things can affect you negatively, ESPECIALLY music, but thats only if you let it get to you that way...if I try to get with a girl or if something happens between a current girl Im dating I might be sad but Ill deal with it by listening to happy music or even sometimes raging bar music (dropkick murphys) and ill just have beers with friends and that is always usually the best therapy, however I dont lock myself in my room stair out my window and listen to emo music on purpose to make myself feel worse...

Anyways for the most part hes right, its not just about surrounding yourself with positive ****...its about making everything positive... and ultimately...just have a cold heart to women lol
I agree with everything you wrote out here... I would say that I am cautious of the news, but I do keep up with current events.

And I am not advocating trying to become some kind of super human that shuts out all negatives and only surrounds himself with positives, lest he should have to endure a negative moment. Not at all.

I still will occasionally listen to angry music, or watch a depressing movie or watch some stupid reality TV show. But my environment, the places that I live, sleep and work in, are set up to inspire the best parts of me.

I want to be happy and I want to feel good. When someone is complaining about something and manages to get me all fired up about something, I do not feel good. I think that Opie and Anthony are pretty funny, but I started noticing that after listening to them every morning, I would just get pissed off thinking about certain topics that really don't matter. Who cares if Tyra Banks is encouraging her audience to hate men? Who cares if P. Diddy is saying something retarded about white people?

Now the other end of the discussion is coping with things and letting things go...

I know a guy who really does screen out EVERYTHING that remotely rubs him the wrong way. As a result, he is very detached from pop culture, has a skewed view of politics and current events and is overall kind of awkward because he limits his "input" so severely. I am not advocating this at all.

I definitely think it's equally important to keep sharpening your ability to handle everything and anything that life throws at you. As Demodulate said earlier, I believe that this is a huge part of being a man... and even though I poked at him a little for saying it, I think this is what he's driving at and I agree.
 

Solomon

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oh yesss

slaog said:
It's not about sticking your head in the sand or shuting out the 'real' world. It's about surrounding yourself with positive things rather then negative things.


Instead of not wanting to supress your anger ask yourself why are you angry in the first place. I believe thats the point of the thread.





I listen to some 60's music. I'm feeling more like a grandad every dad. :D

Slaog On point as usual
a postive frame is a beatiful thing baby

1
 

Huffman

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I can't just listen to "happy" music because it's so incredibly boring! I feel like I would die if I did it all the time!
 

PushYourEdge

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Huffman said:
I can't just listen to "happy" music because it's so incredibly boring! I feel like I would die if I did it all the time!
Hey I'm with you... I am just saying that listening to only sad and/or angry music exclusively takes its toll psychologically. But I still throw depressing and angry songs in the mix, definitely.
 

Huffman

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Okay ;)
Anyway, I like the general message of your thread.
 

thevintageman

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This is a really good read. I agree.

Do you think that changing your surrounds drasticly can have a negative effect though?
 

Scorrere

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It's all about balance. Sometimes you just wanna listen to some depressing music cause you feel like **** or some angry music to get pumped up for a workout or something. But it's bad if you let yourself become a slave to a certain type of music like most "emos" do. Plus part of being a man is being able to deal with all the negative **** that is thrown at you. Wallowing in it won't be good, but it's gonna be there and you gotta deal with it if it does enter your life. Plus life is way too damn complicated to think that changing your surroundings will change your entire life. It might help but it's only one small piece of the puzzle.
 
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