"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Easy one for you all

Monaco

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Just looking for some quick input from you manipulative bastards ;)

So there's a girl. She's pretty attracted to me, I'm sort of indifferent towards her (at least in terms of a LTR). But I do enjoy her company and find her to be a pretty cool person.

We haven't had sex, but only because I didn't want to dig myself a hole I couldn't get out of with her.. since I'm a respectful chap. It could have easily been done.

Anyways, I'll have the house to myself for a couple weeks coming up. Since I'm a very lazy guy, I want to take advantage of the situation without having to find another girl. Basically I want to be able to have her over without her thinking that we'll be walking down the aisle. I want carefree sex and I want her to think that its a good idea (her idea, actually). Some of you will say this cannot be accompished, but let's be creative.. hahaha.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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djSlvt

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Having her over (or having her over living with you) tells her that you're into her.

You could try to set it up so that you want to see if she is qualified to be with you. That way she is there to let you test her if she is qualified to be with you. However, at the end, she is either qualified and you two can live together, or else she is not qualified.

That idea being yours or being hers don't change anything.


I think you should try maneuver I saw on TV. House on FOX. This is totally experimental, and I doubt it will work. You tell her that you think you two should have sex. Let her respond, and tell her, nothing serious, just two partners having sex. Let her think about it, and when your house becomes available call her up and tell her that your house is empty now and tell her to come over, that way if she's up for it, she'll be there.
 

Serialized3

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Since you said that it was her idea that she wants "carefee sex", then just invite her over, and at some point (preferably between making out and sex), that you find her attractive but you can't commit to anything more but friendship with her.

This won't guarantee she won't develop an attachment to you, but if she says she wants carefree sex, this doesn't sound like a problem.
 

Monaco

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hmm.. I think you might've misunderstood me. I'm the one who wants the carefree sex, and she wants something more then that. I just want to change the situation so that she understands I'm not into her for a long term relationship without losing the chance for sex.

when I said it was her idea, I meant that I want to make her think that the sex would be a good plan.. because the best way to get people to do things is to make them think that its their idea in the first place.
 

Serialized3

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Yeah, sorry, I did misunderstand your post. But my advice still stands - if she's really attracted to you she should be happy with that arrangement. You just need to be honest in your intentions.

I don't know about her (or your) age, but it seems that a lot of late teen/early 20s chicks are just looking for a good time and as ryannath wrote in another post "a good friend [she] can have sex with"

I'm not sure how to trick her into thinking that being friends with benefits is a good idea, maybe there's a speed seductionist here that has a pattern for that...
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Monaco

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lol yeah, I agree that might be overdoing it. I'll just find some kind of way to bring it up with her and see what she thinks!
 

danielzxc

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Why don't you just claim to have "misunderstood" AFTER you have sex with her? Like, "hang on babe... I thought you just wanted to fool around a bit.. I didn't know you wanted MORE than that..." If she brings up specific examples of how it was "impossible" for you to get that impression, just play dumb, but in order to be "respectful" (as you wish to), start apologizing profusely, like you "never meant" to cause any confusion or to "disrespect her" etc etc. Reassure her that you don't see her in any lesser light at all, that you won't go around talking about her etc. That's about as respecful as you can get after you've fkked her and are dumping her.
 
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