"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Easy Chili Recipe

5string

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I really like to cook and thought I'd pass this along. I know most of you know how to make chili but suspect there are a few guys on here that couldnt find there a$$ with both hands in the kitchen. Here is the sh!t you'll need:

Big a$$ pot (a given)
1.5-2 packets of McCormicks chili seasoning
Bout 3 large tablespoons of minced garlic
2 large cans of chili beans
2 smaller cans of stewed tomatos
2 lbs of Italian sausage. Try this instead of ground beef. Way better. If links, you'll need to cut 'em up.
Hot sauce (optional)
Add water to your liking. Personally, I don't like really like thick chili.

Mix all these magic ingredients and let simmer for a couple hours. Adjust as you wish. This is just how I usually make it. Garlic bread and salad for sides by the way.

Oh, don't forget the cold beer.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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5string

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Scars said:
:rockon:

Nice recipe, sounds delish!

-Scars
Hear ya. The beer is the best part.

Forgot. If anyone tries this I will caution you, don't trust your farts!
 

Down Low

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Chili seasoning? Why not just buy cumin and chili powder, and then use fresh peppers, onions, and garlic? The packaged spice you mention differs only in that it also contains flour as a thickener.

Beans? Only ignorant Yankees think that's an ingredient in chili. Beans flavored with salt pork are a side dish.

Garlic bread? No. Serve it with big hunks of cornbread.

Sausage? Ground beef? Only if you're some kind of German or Pole who's adjusting it to European tastes.

Really, guys, learn to use a pressure cooker. You can make roast beef with little red potatoes and big chunks of carrot and celery -- in less than an hour. Serve a home-cooked meal like that, and the woman is deeply shamed that you can cook way better than she can. Then take the leftover roast and save it to use later for sandwiches or to make chili with.
 

5string

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Have we sunk so far as to criticize a guy for a fvcking chili recipi and call him an ignorant Yankee?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Down Low

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Oh, sorry. I meant "damn Yankee."
 

OzyBoy

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5string said:
I really like to cook and thought I'd pass this along. I know most of you know how to make chili but suspect there are a few guys on here that couldnt find there a$$ with both hands in the kitchen. Here is the sh!t you'll need:

Big a$$ pot (a given)
1.5-2 packets of McCormicks chili seasoning
Bout 3 large tablespoons of minced garlic
2 large cans of chili beans
2 smaller cans of stewed tomatos
2 lbs of Italian sausage. Try this instead of ground beef. Way better. If links, you'll need to cut 'em up.
Hot sauce (optional)
Add water to your liking. Personally, I don't like really like thick chili.

Mix all these magic ingredients and let simmer for a couple hours. Adjust as you wish. This is just how I usually make it. Garlic bread and salad for sides by the way.

Oh, don't forget the cold beer.
I'm feeling hungry. I might try the recipe. :cool: :cool:
 

Sir Psycho Sexy

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Down Low said:
You can make roast beef with little red potatoes and big chunks of carrot and celery.
LOL yeah good job, you know how to make POT ROAST. Too bad 5 string was talking about chili... And dont eat cornbread with beef.. you eat it with collared greens cooked low and slow with smoked ham hocks or turkey necks. Cast iron dutch oven, no pressure cookers.

Cooking is one of the most useful skills a guy can have. Restaurants are dirty and overpriced.
 

Married Buried

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I tried this recipe yesterday but I added some corn and rice. It turned out great, thanks.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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