easier to get then to keep?

[eminence]

For me it is easier to get a girl then it is to stay in a relationship with them. Last night my girlfriend broke up with me because 'she doesn't have any feelings for me anymore' Do any of you feel this way as well? I am an attractive guy and I can get numbers like nothing, I can joke around and make girls laugh with small talk, but once I start to get more serious I just don't know how to act or talk. I can only throw so many C&F lines out there before I don't have anything left to talk about, once I get past the small talk I just lock up. It doesn't help that I have social anxiety.

Now that i've experienced both a one night stand, and a relationship..I think i'm pretty much done with both. I need to become happy with myself before I can start making girls happy and feeling comfortable with them. I just basically wanted to vent my feelings since I really don't have anyone else to talk to them about.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo Em,


I think you've got the right idea. Only through self-reflection, self-evaluation, and a willingness to make some changes does a person usually GROW.

It's good that you're trying to do THIS kind of hard work NOW, as opposed to 20 years from now. Otherwise, you could have ended up like the guys I wrote about in the thread-link imbedded below in my Signature Line...


So march on, Dude!

 

[TheWorldIsNotEnough]

I have had that problem before. There was no one thing that I did that solved it really. For me, my main problem was once I got into a relationship, things would die down and get boring. You have to spice it up a little. Once I stopped being the perfect gentleman, and stopped being afraid to hurt her feelings it all went uphill. A book that helped me out with that was "the Art of Seduction" by robert greene. Not a great book, very old fashioned...but had some pretty cool concepts that worked for me.

Another thing I could say is to find yourself man. Once you get into a relationship, its not all about witty lines and stories that make her laugh. There should be some common or even uncommon ground for conversation. I mean, if one is afraid to talk about their own interests, than why talk at all?

Hope that helped.

 

[Juan_Man]

I still have a hard time talking to girls seriously. Even if they do show interest, I usually ignore it because I think that their feelings are eventually going to change. I think you have to change your mindset. Realize that even the best guys have been dumped and just take the chance.

 

[eminence]

my problem isn't even geared to girls really, thats why i kind of just want to forget about them altogether until I get my problems worked out. I can't talk to people in general: guy, girl, young, old....i'm nervous around 6 year olds and i'm nervous around 60 year olds. I can barely hold a 10 minute conversation. I just feel like such a failure and that i've been working on all the wrong things in the last few years(looks) rather then personality.

Thinking with the mentality that it won't matter if I can talk or not as long as i'm drop dead gorgeous it won't matter...and the sad thing is it really doesnt, i can pull girls just fine, but I can't keep them when they get to know me...the good ones anyways. Now i'm 18 years old, a senior in high school, and I have barely any buddies...yet i'm one of the most attractive kids in my school, i have a nice car, clothes, and a job most people my age would kill for..yet i'm still not happy, i'm just lonely...and it scares the hell out of me. i just wish I could wake up and be a different person, but I know now thats not going to happen and I have to do something myself about it, and it might(most likely will) take years...which really is just depressing to me.

if I could give a suggestion to anyone else who is similar to me, forget about your looks and just be happy with yourself first, become a funny outgoing guy rather then a damaged good looking one.