Early Thirties Life Change

[Peter.Siffredi]

Hi guys,

Seeing as we've just hit 2013, I've decided I'm not 100% happy with my life and will try to change it. I'm at a age where most of my friends have settled down and it's not as feasible to go out drinking and partying (feels a bit odd when you look at the crowd around you and they're almost 10 years younger). Plus I play a fair amount of sport, some competitive, but I'm getting to the stage where chasing someone 10 years my junior at full pelt is getting almost too much, so will probably pack it in this year.

Ideally it would be nice to settle down with a chick, but unfortunately I'm below average in the looks department - major hurdle.

Generally speaking, whilst I've never been then centre of attention or alpha male, I am reasonably socialable, likeable, can hold a conversation and am easy going.

I'm wondering how many other men have faced a situation where with age comes a growing feeling of isolation and what you do to keep yourself busy and have fun? I'm considering doing different things - joining some social groups, recreational sports clubs, getting some female friends etc.

Tips appreciated, cheers

 

[Gaucho]

I'm in my 30s and settled down with a woman and work probably 45+ hours per week.

However, I'm also experiencing a lot of friends disappearing with their partners. They think getting older and 'settling down' means becoming a hermit and only hanging out with their other half. I have found it pretty disappointing and it has meant I have a lot more time because the time I used to spend with these guys over the last 15 years is no longer there. They are whipped.

I'm taking up my old passion again, boxing. I also have a gym I attend specifically for weights training. Kind of weird also though, because most of the guys I am competing with are like 20. But hey Bernard Hopkins beats champions in his mid to late 40s, so an early 30s guy shouldn't be complaining yet about age. If anything, early 30s is your physical prime!

 

[synergy1]

As someone in a situation similar to yours, there are several ways you can proceed if you want to still have a somewhat normal social life:

1- Assuming you have friends or social circles that are starting to 'settle' down, don't completely cut ties with them, but move on to other groups who are more willing to hang out. Focus on people who make time since some folks will still put in the effort and some will pull a Houdini and vanish. I have had to make new friends from work, all of who are younger than I am.

2- Consider location. being 30 years old is vastly different if you live in New York city as opposed to a rural new England town. People where I live make it a priority to have kids by certain ages ( women usually mid to late 20s roughly). If you live in a place like Boston, people usually have a S.O but are still living a social life.

3- Pursue your own interests. Its a good time to pursue projects, business ideas or whatever.

I'll be curious as to what other 30's have to say.

 

[Drum&Bass]

• I've decided I'm not 100% happy with my life and will try to change it.

• how many other men have faced a situation of isolation

• what you do to keep yourself busy and have fun?

The path of self improvement will automatically create a lifestyle without you having to search for one.

I think the questions you should be asking are:
Why am I unhappy ?
What specific aspects of my life need to improve ?

• Physical

• Mental

• Financial

• Emotional

• Spiritual

• Social

What do I need to do to improve my weak areas.

 

[Peter.Siffredi]

Cheers for the tips guys, some good points. I'm considering joining some new social groups and pursuing some interests I've always thought about, but never got around to

Drum&Bass, my main areas of weakness are:

•Mental - need to get better at maintaining a positive attitude
•Financial - already have plans to change jobs and am looking at getting some more out of current investments
•Emotional - bit of a tricky one, I've been raised in a pretty cold family and as a man, it's generally not the done thing to show emotion in my family - difficult habit to break out ot
•Social - as I mentioned I'll be looking at joining some new groups this year

Thanks