Early in relationship, buying a birthday gift?

[MtnMan]

Recently a plate has been upgraded to 'girlfriend'. So far, so good. Spend time with her on the weekends, and sometime she makes me dinner on a weeknight. Been seeing her for a couple months.

In that time this girl has been quite giving. She gives me back rubs, makes me dinner, brings me books to read, some small and thoughtful gifts etc.

Her birthday is coming up next week, and I kind of think I want to get her something. I'm not talking being all crazy over the top romantic, but there is a particular item that she could really use and has said she wants. I almost bought it for her ($45) and then started second guessing myself.

I have never really done the gift thing with girlfriends in my past since my family really never does the gift thing for any holidays.

Am I being a beta ***** by getting her a birthday gift so early on in the relationship? (she asked to be my girlfriend this last weekend).

Or should I just get it since I know its something she can use and would like.

Probably over thinking this, but LTR stuff is totally new to me since discovering the red pill.

Thoughts?

 

[jurry]

Just get it for her if it feels right brother. Its her birthday so its not like youre lavishing her with all these gifts, there is some element of obligation there. Also, $45 isnt going overboard. If you were gona buy her jewelry or some over the top item like that out of the blue after a week of exclusivity, yea itd be a different story.. But something relatively cheap that you know she needs sounds good.

 

[stephenbaldwin]

Get her the gift. You're a good guy, she's lucky to have you

 

[Roni_88]

Get the gift because its a special occasion and she has also proven herself to you already which is important. Good thing not something expensive.

 

[El Payaso]

Get it for her. She's shown no reason for you not to get it so far.

Just out of morbid curiosity, what is the item?

 

[mangotot]

Whatever happened to the phrase 'its the thought that matters'? Buy her something cheap and simple. If you can, as long as it don't take too much time, inexpensive and easy, make it yourself.

 

[VladPatton]

She sounds like a keeper. $45 smackers ain't gonna wreck your wallet. Get it. It's time to be a boyfriend to her.

 

[MtnMan]

Just out of morbid curiosity, what is the item?

It's a bamboo compost container for your kitchen.

 

[jurry]

It's a bamboo compost container for your kitchen.

Ooh an eco friendly trash can how romantic

 

[El Payaso]

It's a bamboo compost container for your kitchen.

Hmmm...I don't know about that. I guess if she really wants it then it's okay. I would get something else though. Just my thought.

 

[Soolaimon]

Sounds like you're overthinking this too much. If she doesn't appreciate a thoughtful gift she isn't a good woman to have.

 

[MtnMan]

Hmmm...I don't know about that. I guess if she really wants it then it's okay. I would get something else though. Just my thought.

its something that has come up in convo several times. I think its a pretty appropriate gift for the girl in question.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Get her a gift? Yes! Get her a bamboo compost container? Nooooooo!

What is this, a TV show? It's like one of those episodes where the wife says she wants a new fridge so the husband goes out and gets her one... and the wife ends up unhappy, and the husband's like "But why?? It's what she said she wanted!" Dude, birthday gifts for women are not about getting her what she ASKED for - in her head that means you didn't put any real thought into getting her something that symbolizes you noticing something special about her that indicates you GET her as a person. Save the bamboo compost container for another day - literally, get it for her as a surprise on a totally random non-holiday day (she'll love it then because it will be unexpected) - and get her something that's sweet like flowers, or candy, or a customized Build-A-Bear, or a card with hand-written sentiment in it. Be romantic, dammit!

 

[MtnMan]

and get her something that's sweet like flowers, or candy, or a customized Build-A-Bear, or a card with hand-written sentiment in it. Be romantic, dammit!

She has not asked for the item in question, its just something that came up in convo.

I see your point harry, and it makes good sense. However, there is no way i am getting her a build a bear, flowers or candy at this point (or maybe ever).

That is so incredibly non-congruent with who I am and how I interact with women. I would feel strange doing it.

But you make a good point, I will reconsider my gift and see if there is something else I can find that she would like.

 

[jurry]

The compost container is legit, if it felt right to begin with just do it, I just find it humorous to give someone a trash can.

I see harrys point but I think it is too early to be that over the top with your present, keep it light and funny or just practical.

EVERY guy in the world gets his girl flowers or chocolate or whatever, and being that unoriginal and uncreative is a total waste of time (flowers on valentines day seems solid to me tho). Being thoughtful and getting something either funny (a joke between you) or that she really wants/needs is the best route.

 

[MtnMan]

The compost container is legit, if it felt right to begin with just do it, I just find it humorous to give someone a trash can.

EVERY guy in the world gets his girl flowers or chocolate or whatever, and being that unoriginal and uncreative is a total waste of time (flowers on valentines day seems solid to me tho). Being thoughtful and getting something either funny (a joke between you) or that she really wants/needs is the best route.

right! this is what I am thinking. I know the compost container seems lame, but also do I really need to describe what this girl is all about and all possible conversations where this has come up.

it was my first gut idea when it came up in convo.

 

[BadNews]

Is there not some middle ground to be found between the build-a-bear and the garbage can hahah?! I agree with Harry as far as the compost container is concerned...not so much with his gift ideas. I would put some more thought into it before going ahead with the garbage can. There must be something else, simple, that would be much more meaningful to her.

 

[MtnMan]

lol, its not just a garbage can, its this fancy bamboo pail with a plastic liner and charcoal filtered vent that sits next to your sink and you put you compost scraps into it.

I had commented on the fact that she doesn't do the compost thing yet she cooks with tons and tons of veggies that come from her garden. She was like "i know! i need to get one of those compost containers for my kitchen"

She then went on to describe the one she wanted. Its not like I decided to buy her a home depot garbage can just out of the thing air.

 

[jurry]

Hahaha the more i think about it the better this gift sounds. On one level its very fancy, thoughtful and sweet, and on another level its a bucket for used food. Its like push-pull morphed into a physical object.. "yes I like you and listen to what you need, but its just a trash can baby dont get carried away we just started dating".

Pure alpha. Love it!

 

[BadNews]

Hahahaha! Jury that's great lol! I'm just bustin your balls MtnMan hahaha, I'm sure it's a very nice garbage can! I guess this early into the relationship it honestly probably doesn't matter what you get her. I'm sure even taking her for dinner would suffice. Get her the garbage can, and a card, and cook her dinner or something. Then you two can use her fancy new garbage can right away!!!