Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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E-mail invitation + a shy girl - what do you think?

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Don Juan
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Hi guys,

Here is the situation: This girl is a colleague in my office and is in my department, but she is kind of very closed - doesn't speak with almost anyone at the office, goes to lunch alone, etc. She is still new - she joined the company about 4 monts ago, but is going to leave it now for some reason (don't know exactly why). During these 4 monts I was the first to get acquainted with her in our team, so she was saying "Hi" to me when we were meeting somewhere in the office building, but it seemed, that she didn't talk talk to many other people at the office. So she seems either shy or I don't know what...I have talked to her several times (shortly) regarding our work and looked at her body language - she made her hair, when I talked to her, but didn't maintain eye contact for too long (probably shy?). From my point of view she is kinda stressed with the work in the office and probably that's why she wants to leave the work. Now it is her last week at the office and I have the idea to ask her out.

My idea is to send a fake mail to my and her work e-mails from a fake e-mail address, which to be the e-mail of a local theatre and write in the mail a shyt like this:

"Hi theatre friends,

As usual, our theatre is full of surprises. The end of the summer has come, but we keep our promise to keep your summer mood high with our October program. It's a big pleasure for us to announce the winners of this week's lottery. Ladies and gentlemen, the lucky ones, who will receive free tickets for the theatre play "xyz" are:

1.My name
2.Her name

Congratulations! Winners, please come at the "Blah-blah" teather on Wednesday at 19 o'clock for the play and make sure to bring your IDs with you.

Regards,
The "Blah-blah" theatre"

What do you, guys, think of this kind of shyt? I know you will say that directly asking her out is better (shows confidence), but she is shy and I don't think that she would like to receive the offer in front of her colleagues in her room.
Any other ideas are also welcome:)

Thanks for your answers and let's see if she is really a virgin.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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skinnydart

Master Don Juan
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That is so cheesy, dont' do it.

So she's shy, that just means she is not going to show an ******d interest in you, she's not going to let anyone know she wants a boyfriend. That doesn't mean she's not secretly hoping you (or any guy for that matter) will approach her.

If you dont' want to embarress her, just take your lunch break during the same hour she goes to hers. Walk out of the office at the same time and once you're in the hall, casually say something like "mind if I join you for lunch?" or if she buys lunch somewhere say something like "I'm heading to Quiznos, would you care to join me?".
 

flexion_

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Please don't send that e-mail. You'll come off as creepy to her.

Its her last week - go up to her and say something like, "hey... I heard its your last week... lets go grab a coffee on break (or at lunch)..." then number close and give her a ring when she is completely away from work.

Apparently, from what you are saying, something at work is bothering her - ask her out when she is away from work so she'll be in a better state of mind. Otherwise she may just associate you with her stress at work by default.

Timing is important here too... sounds like she is messed up right now? Maybe she is wacked eh? How does someone who is all stressed out appeal to you?
 

skinnydart

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Yeah, and since you both work at the same place, try to relate to the probs she's having at work. If she can't stand the lady in the desk next to hers, say something like "o man, I know mean. She's a total jerk isn't she. I was walking by her the other day and...' you know, you get the idea. That way you're put yourself in a seperate catagory. Otherwise you might just be classified as another "one of the jerks at work", the reason she's leaving in the first place.

And don't come on to strong like 'so tell me why you're leaving'. It's probably more complicated than you would think or she just might not want to talk about it right away. Just hint at it and see how she responds.
 

squirrels

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Just get her number. Stop screwing around. If it's come to this, it's because you've been farting around too long already.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Attractor

Don Juan
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Thanks to all you, guys, I also already think, that this is a stupid idea and am going to ask her out the standard way.
 
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