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e-harmony sitrep (not a typo!)

Wilko

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I'm a long-time veteran of OK Cupid, PoF, and Oasis (I don't think it has significant market-share in the U.S.) but I've always been wildly sceptical of e-harmony. But, based on a friends description I decided I should do the experiment for myself. It was the prospect of non-hipsterish professionals with a proper grasp of English that caught my attention.

Be careful what you wish for!

Essentially, e-harmony strips away the uneducated single mothers from PoF, the cringe-worthy hipster/feminists from OK Cupid, and you're left with the middle ground. The end result is totally homogenised, and very, very dull. Absolutely relentless emphasis on family and friends, travel, real estate, and volunteering/charity. Oh, and the "best" part? The girls are utterly humourless and nauseatingly earnest, sigh, but at least they can spell right? Amazingly uniform array of occupations too; teacher, nurse, travel agent, social worker, psychologist, and a smattering of architects and lawyers (who all have their pet progressive "cause").

I never thought I'd be grateful for the "colour" that PoF and OKC provide, but there you go.

Anyway, I'm paid up for thee months and since I have a steady supply of vajine at the moment I plan to go balls out and troll hard.
 

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pdx1138

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Wilko said:
the cringe-worthy hipster/feminists from OK Cupid
Thats a perfect description!

Recently I've been wondering, what the heck is up with all these Vegan fems on okc?!?

I've been told by others that e-harmony is very religion centric. One Atheist woman I know
got pissed and canceled her sign up because it was asking her religious questions left and right.

Which likely explains the folk over there. I've found the over religious women are the most boring
in and out of the bedroom.

Please, feel free to post some of the trolling responses, I'd love to hear it.
 

Who Dares Win

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Yeah its a religious dating site, the best bet to have your money back is send an email asking where is the "male seek male" option :up:
 

Burroughs

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All the best cvntmeats are locked down before age 19....the more they ride the cawk carousel the more their pristine :)crackup: ) temperaments are degraded... by the time they are age 27 they are sick of the gangbang carousel and turn to the internet....wacky thing is...on the internet these gangbang cvntmeats are still looking for Tom Brady....where are you Tom Brady? :crazy:
 
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Naughty Ninja

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Burroughs said:
All the best cvntmeats are locked down before age 19....the more they ride the cawk carousel the more their pristine :)crackup: ) temperaments are degraded... by the time they are age 27 they are sick of the gangbang carousel and turn to the internet....wacky thing is...on the internet these gangbang cvntmeats are still looking for Tom Brady....where are you Tom Brady? :crazy:

If anyone thinks for one second those same chicks who turn to online dating aren't still riding the c0ck carosel while desperately seeking Tom Bradey, they're sorely mistaken. They're not just sitting online idle but sampling multiple c0cks till they one day find some clueless "God" who wants to actually wife them up so they can live vicariously through him. God help the poor soul who ever does that.
 

Burroughs

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Naughty Ninja said:
If anyone thinks for one second those same chicks who turn to online dating aren't still riding the c0ck carosel while desperately seeking Tom Bradey, they're sorely mistaken. They're not just sitting online idle but sampling multiple c0cks till they one day find some clueless "God" who wants to actually wife them up so they can live vicariously through him. God help the poor soul who ever does that.
agree 100%

but when these biyaches' meth habit takes over and they start to look like this http://tv.yahoo.com/news/-that--70s-show--star-arrested-on-suspicion-of-assault-175001975.html the internet may be their only option :crackup:
 

Wilko

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Actually for those wondering about the religious angle, about half my matches identify as "non spiritual and non religious". The other half, are of course, Christian. I'll make no judgement on that except to say that the "Christian" girls make all the usual noises about family values that you'd expect them to - which gets boring pretty damn quickly.

On the plus side, the girls are actually much more active participants than on other sites. I'm running the same pics and the same schtick as I normally would, and these girls are initiating a lot more activity.

I forgot to mention this in the OP; looks-wise, the girls are actually quite a bit better than PoF (metric fvck-tons of travel pics, I'd swear it was satire if I didn't know better).

I would say, that if you're the type of guy who doesn't mind their girls really fvcking dull - you could actually clean up on e-harmony with a modest amount of Game.
 

Warrior74

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So...girls with values, who are religious , who travel, who tend to have caregiver type careers for the most part (who have careers period) and give back to the community are boring because they aren't trash from POF or weirdos from OKC?

Isn't that exactly what guys here say they are looking for? I dont' get it. Do you expect your woman to be the most amazing intellectual on earth? Or do expect her to have good values be attractive and not stupid? For me that sounds pretty decent. Especially for the whole "end of civilization is coming" crowd. Wouldn't you want that type of woman? Do you guys even know what you want?

Me, I know exactly what I want. A couple of months of banging a average looking chic who is low maintenance. And then rotating out for another one. If she has a job and isn't a complete slut, that's cool. I don't plan on marrying or committing long term. But if I did, I would imagine what the OP is describing would be where I would be looking. Am I missing something here?
 

Wilko

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It's the elephant in the room right? I'm glad you brought it up. Observations are spot on Warrior, no real disagreement actually.

Regardless of the site (or a girl's specific career/interests), it's the lack of charm and creativity that kills it for me personally (had to see for myself what e-harmony had to offer in that regard). Anyway, that's according to my values and my values only, and obviously I don't have any special claim on the truth. Though like you observe, it's probably not such a dealbreaker for the traditionalists. Different strokes, definitely.
 
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Dust 2 Dust

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Eharmony was a waste of money. I signed up for a 6 month membership and cancelled after 4 months. The fatal flaw in Eharmony is you can't browse members and you can only contact users that you've been matched with. It doesn't work because you have to wait for a computer to tell you who you can and can't date which is BS. Also, women seem to take this matching crap way too seriously. In my experience, if you message a woman who doesn't match you on at least 80% of personality criteria they won't respond. Most of the women on the site are religious types who I would never get along with anyway.
 

Von_S

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I always got the impression eHarmony was for people who were on the fast track to marriage. Hence all the "family values" stuff. I've also found the stakes are a lot higher on sites where you have to pay. PoF/OKC have zero barrier to entry so you get tons of attention wh0res throwing up profiles just to have 300 dudes a day compliment them. In the past I've used PoF/OKC to score plates (works very well for that if you know how to tune your profile) I've stayed away from pay sites cause I know chicks there are looking to get serious. You gotta use the right tool for the job, stay off the pay sites if you're just looking to bone.
 

Colossus

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Yo Wilko,

Very astute (and hilarious) observations about eHarmony. I have been a user myself since July I believe. I've really had all the same thoughts as you about the site: It cuts out the narcissistic hipsters of OKC, the bottom-feeders of PoF, and sort of gels together all the "normal", but very stereotypical white-picket-fence dreaming females into one place.

The girls are much more active in pursuing, and by and large more attractive. There are a good grip of bona fide 8's and a few 9's even.

That said, the redundancy of family/friends/marriage/kids/volunteering is almost nauseating. In a way though, it's good. Because like Warrior said these girls have many of the qualities we come here and talk about in a "quality" woman: educated, family-oriented, well-rounded people. But on the other hand, it's really off-putting because their baby agenda is as clear as day. It practically reaches out and slaps you in the face. It almost seems like a site requirement to have a picture of up with their infant nephew/niece, or their freaking DOG (who cares?!?!), and they have to say they are most passionate about family and friends. Like who doesnt care about family and friends??? That's like saying you like to have fun.

In a nutshell, I think it's ok if you know the market share. Each site has it's own flavor, but when you are paying, people are generally more apt to follow through and not flake. Eharmony girls are generally 'healthy' and balanced (compared to other sites), but also REPETITIVE, and almost all of them are chomping at the bit for marriage and children. So buyer beware.
 

Wilko

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Heh, Colussus, what if I was to say to you that "I like to make the most out of life's opportunities", and "My Grandmother taught me so much". The really alarming/creepy thing about the e-harmony female hive-mind, is that we're on opposite sides of the globe and it's perfectly synchronised.

Man, the baby-making agenda. The average female e-harmony user is about as subtle in her approach to marriage as the average male PoF troll is when it comes to looking for sex. Of course, what you don't see in kind, is this:

I WILL NOT MARRY U AFTER THE FIRST DATE!!! IF U AD ME N TALK ABOUT BABIES U WILL BE DELETED!! ARNT THEIR ANY DESENT WOMIN WHO WONT TO GET KNOW ME FIRST???
 

Dust 2 Dust

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They may be looking for marriage, but I find it hard to believe that a true quality woman would be on a website trolling for a hubby. A woman of real quality is gonna get wifed up by a guy in her social circle while she's in her early 20's.
 
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Georgepithyou

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Most of the womwn on that site are really old, like in their 30s amd 40s
Nobody my age
 

Lynx nkaf

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