Originally posted by Dee-Zy:
If a women is on/off with you, chances are they are NOT interested. It's true when we say Interest goes over EVERYTHING. Even if she had a bad day, wouldn't she be happy if she sees you? OF COURSE!!! It's a MAJOR contrast! Everything goes bad but THEN she sees her sunshine!!! So If a girl is playing on/off, I say it's not real interest only a way to play wit yo feelings, so protect yo heart at ALL costs!!!!
I'm ghost
Peace Out
DZ
Hi ghost,
On/Off may have its place, but you are not the sunshine to make those clouds go away by simply presenting yourself. If you have experianced it, you have certainly been in a relationship that was lacking self-confidence (Hers, yours, or both).
People have their "off" days which are wholly unrelated to their partner. A Woman requires that She be able to talk it out and for you to simply listen (no action required). Arriving like the Knight in shining armor is not enough.
There are actions that can be performed to raise Her spirits. Many in fact. They should come after the period of listening.
If you can in fact perform this function, then Yes! She will brighten with your arrival knowing full well that you will listen to Her story and then offer Her solace (dinner, movie, walk in the park, a foot rub, choclate - any of these very simple things). Your reward will be sure and pleasant.
One very possible problem is that you may want to offer Her suggestions about Her difficulties. This will be OK if She asks for help, but DO NOT volunteer help like "you should do so and so..." This phrase (and many like it) is death in a relationship with a Woman, but oddly enough not with male friends.
Men love to fix things. Women simply want to be heard. If you offer unsolicited help, you were thinking while She talked, not listening. When She's through talking, She's going to feel a whole lot better and no solution is going to improve on that (don't fix what ain't broken guys).
Yeah, you will still see a problem that is unresolved - but it ain't YOUR problem, and She's already over it! Men and Women deal with the same problems in different ways. Don't get trapped offering masculine solutions to a Woman to carry out ("If I were you I would..."). Instead offer support ("I'll bust his nose the next time he does that to you!"). This She can accept as being there for Her, where She can then follow up with "oh that's so nice - you don't really need to go that far, but I appreciate it." (reward follows).
Don Juan does this at every opportunity with every Woman he meets, not simply with the object of his affection. Your reward will be measured by the degree of intimacy that you share with each of those Women. Each act of listening will deepen that degree of intimacy. It only takes modest effort (except for the part where you bite your tongue to keep from telling her what to do - that IS the hard part).
