"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Dwelling on something simple. Should I be?

The LadyKiller

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You're probably clicking on this thread thinking I'm going to break down a commonplace situation and how I'm overthinking it. Well, you'd be right! But I do need a little insight as to what took place.

I work at a company with a lot of people, many of whom are in their 20s like myself. The girl in question is a HB9. A couple of years ago, this HB could not stand me, for reasons unknown. It wasn't pretty. Over time, perhaps aided by her moving to another department, her negative feelings have subsided and we get along rather well when we run into each other from time to time. She laughs at my wit and engages in the interaction. We go to the same gym, so there are some inside jokes as a result. Despite this, I have not once asked for her number or tried to set up plans, due to me being unsure if the atmosphere from a couple years back is fully in the rearview mirror.

That's the background info. Now to the minute issue I'm overthinking. A couple of nights ago, HB9 randomly emails me about some project she is working on asks if I know where one of the items she needed was located (because she figures I'd somehow magically know?). Keep in mind that I have literally no connection to any of the items needed for the project, and she knows several other people in my department. Again, very random.

For what it's worth, I found the item rather quickly due to some veteran tricks she wouldn't know I knew. She was very complimentary when I emailed her the good news. But was this simply a very random work engagement, or is she hinting at something more? Yes I'm overthinking a basic situation, but the thought of her IL swinging from 0% to over 50% without me doing much of anything is intriguing to me.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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BrainDamage92

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Somebody prolly talked **** behind your back when she acted cold in the old days.


Ask her out if you like her.
 

Lozboss

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Awful Advice Brain.

Never date coworkers- ever. One of the key rules every DJ should follow! ****t*ng where you eat isn't ever a good plan.
 

BrainDamage92

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Lozboss said:
Awful Advice Brain.

Never date coworkers- ever. One of the key rules every DJ should follow! ****t*ng where you eat isn't ever a good plan.
generally, yes, but I read it carefully, and the dude said its a big company with many employees, and she is in another department.

I have alot of bitter experience from "dating" coworkers - got tangled up with a girl with whom I spent 3 years, also once ****ed my bosses daughter on the cameras and got fired :D

Anyway, the biggest problem is not the gossip, its the fact that if the work is what you have in common, once that dissapears, its hard.

But that is not the case.

Go for it.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Lozboss

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The LadyKiller said:
we get along rather well when we run into each other from time to time.

We go to the same gym,
How is this not interacting? Big company or Not- BAD IDEA.

Ok so lets say they date and do 18 months in a LTR. When their relationship breaks down how well do you think that will go?

Just don't go there.

Are you really that optionless OP that you can't find women outside work?
 
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