Dwelling on a situation, how to move past?

[DrStranglove]

So I feel like I'm getting into a bad spot that's not unhealthy.

I've been dating this girl the past few months. I'm a pretty seasoned dater but that first date we clicked like I haven't experienced in years. Our following dates retained the same connection. Fun playful texts and phone calls in-between getting to know each other but never overdone. We were intimate.

Somewhere around the third date I sensed her pull back maybe a little. Took her a few days to respond once but she apologized saying she was busy. Then a week or two later she did not respond to a post date "nice to see you again" text. I backed off and reengaged later that week and she responded normally.

We had a few more dates. She started dropping some heavy talk about her feelings for me. Made me feel so at ease that I was doing a great job courting her.

Our last date was about two weeks ago. She went cold afterward. I could hear it in her voice when I called a few days later. She didn't respond to my Happy Easter text. I have not tried to reach out again. I've been replaying the date over and over in my mind trying to figure out the misstep. She made a few small comments that made me think she was pushing me away, but also a few comments still showing interest. Overall It went mostly like our other dates but something didn't feel quite right when I dropped her off.

So this is where I sit currently and it stings hard. I've had so many 1-3 month flings end that didn't phase me, but she felt like my perfect catch. I've become preoccupied and am dwelling over this all the time. Probably because I have no idea what I did wrong. Meeting other girls doesn't help.

I've waited it out and am getting close to getting to the bottom of this by just sending her a message.

 

[Spaz]

You move past any women or girl by keeping focus on your purpose.

What is your purpose/function/mission in life? Ask yourself that.

Getting women, money, car, house etc are basics in life that are merely to function as a man.

 

[Stallionstud]

I know your feeling well. My course of action was to spill my guts after playing it cool for weeks. Needless to say that fell on deaf ears.

The girl at the time was the youngest most fit girl I had been with.

3 months later neither of those are true anymore. Your solution involves lifting and going out as much as possible.

 

[Mazer]

Dont ask her what the problem is, just ask her out on a date. If she doesn't respond, she isn't interested. You should always try to be spinning more than one plate if you can. Guess what, there will be other girls that you will click with in the future. Man up, we have all been there. Good luck.

 

[ohrein]

Her being your perfect match doesn't mean she felt you were. It sounds like maybe you stalled on escalating? Maybe you were too needy? From early on it sounded like she had moderate interest that was dwindling. She was giving you more chances to do something and by that I mean get her excited sexually. After you failed to do that she thought "there's just no chemistry" and bailed. Women love "chemistry" which is really just flirting sexually in a fun way. Ideally you want that to be there just by your presence but most times you need to actively pursue it.

 

[Stallionstud]

Her being your perfect match doesn't mean she felt you were. It sounds like maybe you stalled on escalating? Maybe you were too needy? From early on it sounded like she had moderate interest that was dwindling. She was giving you more chances to do something and by that I mean get her excited sexually. After you failed to do that she thought "there's just no chemistry" and bailed. Women love "chemistry" which is really just flirting sexually in a fun way. Ideally you want that to be there just by your presence but most times you need to actively pursue it.

I would say that sums up the girl I mentioned

 

[ohrein]

I can't figure out why guys pretend to not understand this.

I was guilty of this and the best way to look at it is this. If your perfect match doesn't think you're her perfect match, and won't fight as hard to get you as you do her, she's not your perfect match. I personally was filtering for high interest level when I was still dating. If I went on a first date with a woman and I was questioning her interest level by the end at all, I didn't see them again. I went on a lot of first dates. Haha.