Dumped the gf

[So pimp its scary]

I just dumped my ex about a week ago. We dated for about 7 months, and things started out good, but then
-she started getting controlling
-occasionaly insulting
-became VERY NEEDY
-Puts me on a pedastal that I cannot live up to.
-200 miles between us
( she does still have quite a few pluses; attitude, swallows, etc)

Here's the problem; This girl was so into me that I was worried that she was going to 'self-destruct' and just start drinking and going out of control like that.. Also, she is calling me fairly often because she doesn't seem to 'get' the explanation that I gave her for breaking up.

I tell her that she'll find another guy and replace me, but she insists on my irreplacability... and is all around just turning into a headache.

What have you guys done about a girl that has a hard time letting go, try and keep in mind that I do still care about her as a person ?

Lastly, I'll start with a few FR's as soon as they occur.... can't stay out of the game for too long.

 

[Tails]

just keep doing what you're doing. she'll get over it sooner or later. my ex was the same... she didn't wanna just end it and kept calling me alot. i had hang up on her once. but she got over me after a few months and i haven't heard from her since. it just takes time bro.

 

[NatureGuy]

Are you sure you want to dump her?
The offending behavior you descibe sounds like someone reacting to insecurity not necessarily mismatched to you....You say yourself there are positive things about her.
It might be worth telling her directly what you don't like - work with her a little. She seems motivated !

 

[BADA-BING]

Cutting all ties would make it easier. for both of you.

 

[sustainable007]

What have you guys done about a girl that has a hard time letting go, try and keep in mind that I do still care about her as a person ?

That has got to be one of the Most AFC things I ever heard...Think about it do you tell someone you care about that you dont want to see them anymore, and that you want to date other people....Moving on requires balz...Move on...Pull the ejector seat...do not look back....I have the feeling if you stay in contact with her you are going to get burned by her..Dont give her this oppourtunity.

 

[Ice Cold]

This is a good time for an ultimatum IMO:

I will take you back if:

1)
2)
3)
.....

101).....

 

[So pimp its scary]

NatureGuy - She is VERY motivated to stay with me. She is willing to move to a new country (Canada from US) to stay with me. I wish it were possible to explain the full situation without having to type out a 5-10 page story of all the good and the bad.
Like I told her, she is a perfect girl just not the perfect girl for me.

Bada-Bing and Tails - I was thinking of the simply cutting off contact and then getting in touch with her at a later date when she won't be so raw about the whole spiel.

Sustainable007 - Have you never had feelings about a girl yet at the same time, knowing in your heart that the relationship would never work in the long run? The thing is that I knew that the relationship wouldn't last, and she was talking about bearing my children... so it's not necessarily as simple as this, but there is certainly some wisdom behind your words... in that her rawness might make her want to 'get back at me' somehow.

Ice Cold - If or when I would decide on getting back with this girl, that is what I would give her... the list definately wouldn't be in the hundreds, but the point remains.

I would also like to note that this girl, being 4'8" is very insecure and tries very hard to compensate so that people will notice her...

thanks

 

[Fenerbahce]

I have exactly the same problem right now. I don't even want to imagine what my gf might do when I tell her I want to break-up. She sounds exactly the same with your gf. I know I have to dump her, but I keep postponing it.
As soon as the signs show, we have to get rid of them. The longer they stay the harder it gets.

 

[Dan_DJ]

Originally posted by So pimp its scary
( she does still have quite a few pluses; attitude, swallows, etc)

LOL, that cracked me up.

 

[So pimp its scary]

Originally posted by Fenerbahce
I have exactly the same problem right now. I don't even want to imagine what my gf might do when I tell her I want to break-up. She sounds exactly the same with your gf. I know I have to dump her, but I keep postponing it.
As soon as the signs show, we have to get rid of them. The longer they stay the harder it gets.

The problem for me was that everything started out slow, and very gradually got worse and worse...

So it's kinda like the frog sitting in cool water that is heating to a boil, who will not notice the gradual rise in temperature and boil to death. Whereas, if you drop the frog in boiling water it will quickly jump out.

So, by the time that I 'noticed' the water heating up, it was already at a boiling point... Yes, I knew I had to break up with her for about a month of delays and trying to work things out... somehow, she still never saw the breakup coming.

 

[DJ_Dork]

Alright, I like some of the suggestions. If you don't like some of the stuff she did to you for the reasons why you broke up, you can choose to give her an ultimatum (like what IceCold said) - or both of you should have a time out period for about 1-3 months and see where the feelings go.

 

[maranathaman]

She swallows?
Well Since you're done with her, can I call-her?
Any girl that swallows is a keeper in my book!