Dumped Her, But Now Having Second Thoughts!

[soulforge]

hello guys

i,m having a really hard time since i dumped my girlfriend

i was with her for two years & we split up 3 times in that period


i dumped her because she has got more & more disrespectful & rude towards me.. also i could sense she does not give that much of a sh@t about me

it just felt like i care more about her, than she cares about me.

every row or argument, i have to make up with her... she hardly bothers to make an effort.. even if that means us splitting up.

she disrespected me a couple of weeks ago & we ended up having an argument, so i left her house & dumped her.

i came to the conclusion, that it is only a matter of time, till she cheats on me or dumps me... so i decided to dump her first.

but now i have had time to think about things, i have come to realize, that the last argument we had, could have been avoided if i handled things differently & not got so angry with her

maybe if i had calmly talked to her, then i could have avoided dumping her..

but i had so much anger towards her for disrespecting me, and i felt constant stress & turmoil, that i had to just tell her exactly what i thought of her


looking back now, i wish i had taken a calmer approach...



i have spoke to her once since i dumped her... i apologized about getting angry & for saying some of the things i said....

she told me she is not sure about us getting back together & wants to think about things... so i left the ball in her court


but since then i have found out, she is talking to some guy she exchanged numbers with at a restaurant... she exchanged numbers with him just one week after i dumped her


so i am thinking i should just stay in no contact now & forget about this woman


the truth is, she was never that good to me... she was killing my self esteem & treating me pretty crap at times... but i can also see how i could have handled things better in some parts too

i feel like reaching out to her before she gets involved with this guy... but if i reach out to her... she might show me the f@cking door

which is going to leave me feeling butt hurt lol


i,m thinking maybe it's better to go through some short term pain now, than stay with this woman & let her screw me over big time later down the road


i guess i am just venting or having doubts... i suppose that is normal when you dump someone

 

[soulforge]

the truth is, i really don;t think this woman is good for me long term... it's been constant drama

i can't see her being there as a good partner for me... maybe i am just panicking because she may or not be seeing this other guy

 

[goodganji44]

You need to find yourself something else to do instead of worrying about this broad. It's over and done with and yes it's over a 95% chance that she is seeing this other guy.

What's done is done, stop looking back and start looking towards your own future. Good luck.

 

[nismo-4]

Your princess is in another castle. Move on.

Case closed.

 

[dasein]

Wise decision. Let some other guy put up with her, it's like you sold him a lemon car. These kinds of doubts are normal, and good to air them out, but you know you did the right thing here, and very soon the feelings of freedom will begin to outweigh the false feelings of loss. If you had to carry around a garbage can full of sh-t for months or years, then put it down, you'd miss even a sh-tbucket briefly. That's all the feelings of loss here are, reflex. Use your mind to overcome them. Stay strong and good luck.

 

[Iceberg]

I feel like, if you spent 2 years dating the girl and the information you've gathered through those 2 years had led you to believe....

i came to the conclusion, that it is only a matter of time, till she cheats on me or dumps me... so i decided to dump her first.

....then it's probably smart for you to dump her.

Everything you've said pretty much leads to 100% certainty that you're right about this move. She's disrespectful. She's destroying your self esteem. I think it's time to clean house.

 

[soulforge]

Wise decision. Let some other guy put up with her, it's like you sold him a lemon car. These kinds of doubts are normal, and good to air them out, but you know you did the right thing here, and very soon the feelings of freedom will begin to outweigh the false feelings of loss. If you had to carry around a garbage can full of sh-t for months or years, then put it down, you'd miss even a sh-tbucket briefly. That's all the feelings of loss here are, reflex. Use your mind to overcome them. Stay strong and good luck.

that is the strange thing about it... this woman was never really good to me.. i never felt like i had a good partner here, or a genuine woman who would stand by my side... who would love & respect me...


i couldn't really describe her as a life partner


yet i still miss her... and feel a sense of loss.

 

[dasein]

We've all been there, those feelings are natural, and as Iceberg said she probably did a number on your psyche, that takes time to heal up. Can assure you that once you get some months and years down the road, you will look back and dance a jig. Promise.

 

[soulforge]

I feel like, if you spent 2 years dating the girl and the information you've gathered through those 2 years had led you to believe....



....then it's probably smart for you to dump her.

Everything you've said pretty much leads to 100% certainty that you're right about this move. She's disrespectful. She's destroying your self esteem. I think it's time to clean house.

i suppose you are right.... i should have just dumped her sooner, before my self esteem got this low..

but yes you are right..... there is only two ways about it..

one - either she is a good woman, who has my best interests at heart

two - she is not a good woman & would only crush me later down the road


if i am honest with myself, i believe this woman would mess my life up!

so dumping her was the only choice.... i guess i am just feeling butt hurt, because just one week after dumping her, she is talking to some dude.


i guess i need to stop worrying about that & realize that i have dodged a bullet & saved myself from future ruin!

also i am a shallow person, as i miss the amazing sex & she was good looking!


this is what thinking with your d@ck gets you!

 

[expos]

SHE IS NOT A GOOD WOMAN.

Dammit Soulforge - you've got pound this into your head.

She was a PIECE OF SH!T.

The way you describe her, I want to punch this woman in the fvcking face.

You wouldn't have dumped her if she was good to you. You have to realize that if she was that good of a person, she wouldn't have put you through so much CRAP. People who love each don't inflict pain on others like that.

Again....

What do you do with rotten fruit?

YOU GET RID OF IT.

What do you do with an car that continually gives you problems?

YOU GET RID OF IT.

What do you do with a bag of trash?

YOU GET RID OF IT.

What do you do with a terrible woman?

YOU GET RID OF IT.

The fact that you are here posting a lot about her speaks volumes about what a pile of crap she was. Be thankful you NEVER married this woman, as she would have probably sent you to an early grave.

I have been exactly where you are at. Don't think for a second that I don't know what I'm talking about. My woman almost made me think about killing myself after our break up. Everyone here has dealt with a low-quality chick that has brought them nothing but misery.

Who the fvck cares who she is with now. She's like 46!!! What, do you think shes going to be some great woman for the next guy or change who she is? No WAY. Girls like her NEVER feel like they are the problem. If she is with another dude, she did nothing to make herself a better person. She is carrying all the baggage from your relationship with her to the next one...and you can bet...when her new relationship dies (and it will) that it will be nastier and uglier than anything you went through.

Goddammit dude.

SHE IS A CVNT...and you only think she is a great because you aren't around her all of the time. Dude, what you are describing is a woman who NOBODY here would even want anything to do with. I DARE you to post a pic and tell us why she is so great. I guarantee this board would rip her a part.

Get motivated and start talking to a bunch of women.

 

[soulforge]

SHE IS NOT A GOOD WOMAN.

Dammit Soulforge - you've got pound this into your head.

She was a PIECE OF SH!T.

The way you describe her, I want to punch this woman in the fvcking face.

You wouldn't have dumped her if she was good to you. You have to realize that if she was that good of a person, she wouldn't have put you through so much CRAP. People who love each don't inflict pain on others like that.

Again....

What do you do with rotten fruit?

YOU GET RID OF IT.

What do you do with an car that continually gives you problems?

YOU GET RID OF IT.

What do you do with a bag of trash?

YOU GET RID OF IT.

What do you do with a terrible woman?

YOU GET RID OF IT.

The fact that you are here posting a lot about her speaks volumes about what a pile of crap she was. Be thankful you NEVER married this woman, as she would have probably sent you to an early grave.

I have been exactly where you are at. Don't think for a second that I don't know what I'm talking about. My woman almost made me think about killing myself after our break up. Everyone here has dealt with a low-quality chick that has brought them nothing but misery.

Who the fvck cares who she is with now. She's like 46!!! What, do you think shes going to be some great woman for the next guy or change who she is? No WAY. Girls like her NEVER feel like they are the problem. If she is with another dude, she did nothing to make herself a better person. She is carrying all the baggage from your relationship with her to the next one...and you can bet...when her new relationship dies (and it will) that it will be nastier and uglier than anything you went through.

Goddammit dude.

SHE IS A CVNT...and you only think she is a great because you aren't around her all of the time. Dude, what you are describing is a woman who NOBODY here would even want anything to do with. I DARE you to post a pic and tell us why she is so great. I guarantee this board would rip her a part.

Get motivated and start talking to a bunch of women.

Expos i want to thank you for your post... as soon as i finished reading it, i felt so much better!

thank you for explicitly laying it out for me!

what you are saying is totally correct.. never in a million years could i say, she was a good woman.

she is garbage... i knew this for a good while & should have dumped her ages ago... okay so it's done now!

she maybe seeing some dude already.... but you know what, it doesn't matter what she does from now own!

what matters is, that i have nothing to do with this toxic piece of crap.. i work on healing myself, getting myself esteem back & getting out there & meeting new woman soon.


in fact i should count myself lucky... i did not move out & get a house with her (this is what she wanted)

i did not marry her, or have kids with her... some would say i got off lightly!


i guess what i am feeling right now is ANGER!

why the f@ck did i stay this long with that b@tch

why the f@ck did i not just dump her ass... i really do not want her back or want anything to do with her... just feel like i let myself down.


expos, how long was you with your ex? and did you get over her, once you dumped her

 

[expos]

Expos i want to thank you for your post... as soon as i finished reading it, i felt so much better!

I'll send you a PM.

 

[soulforge]

I'll send you a PM.

ok expos... thanx mate

 

[GetFit66]

She has mind fvcked you into this attutide where you always doubt yourself and your decisions and come crawling back to her so she can make you her little b1tch.

Yes i agree with you, if you were a better man this was much less likely to happen, but the fact that she knows your a wuss and uses and manipulates you into coming back and kissing her ass is just wrong. She's indecent.

Move on. My advice to myself whenever I have made a decision that I know to be correct and keep rethinking it is STFU. Honestly tell yourself to STFU it works wonderfully

Expos btw that was a beautiful post :crackup:

 

[soulforge]

She has mind fvcked you into this attutide where you always doubt yourself and your decisions and come crawling back to her so she can make you her little b1tch.

Yes i agree with you, if you were a better man this was much less likely to happen, but the fact that she knows your a wuss and uses and manipulates you into coming back and kissing her ass is just wrong. She's indecent.

Move on. My advice to myself whenever I have made a decision that I know to be correct and keep rethinking it is STFU. Honestly tell yourself to STFU it works wonderfully

Expos btw that was a beautiful post :crackup:

the thing is, i have never really gone back to her, unless i genuinely felt like, it was me who fuked up & made a mistake

it is me who has mostly done the walking away from her, then she sends me constant emails, about loving me etc etc & missing me, and yes like an idiot i have gone back to her, after a few weeks... more that once

it's all a big f@cking game... mind fu@ck... power struggle... i don't need this kind of woman in my life... time to move on from this trashy woman

 

[GetFit66]

Are you sure that is the case ?

 

[corrector]

You know soulforge. I know exactly how you feel.

It took me a while to get over my ex-gf and the only thing that can help is no-contact time.

Songs on the radio even had a new meaning. There was "Stompa", "Inner Ninja", and even some 80's songs that had a new life after that experience.
Then you've got Cher "Do you believe in life after love?". It is funny how songs with lyrics that had no meaning to me, and were just nice songs, suddenly clicked after I dumped my "ex". Then you've got "Don't you forget about me"(Simple Minds), "Don't come around her no more"(Tom Pretty), Pet shop boys "You are always on my mind", and "Listen to the Rain", from Enya, "Valarie/High Life" Steve Winwood.

It's like the break-up and post-love experience had a life of its own.

All I can say, is I hope you don't have as bad as I did getting over my ex. Since I had an amazing summer with her, I had a virtual re-run this summer and especially mid-late August I got a real memory hit. Now it's really fading down and I don't feel any connection like before. Do you find some songs have new meaning to you after the break-up?

As time passes you'll get over her. You are on a DJ board so hopefully you can read other people's journals or bootcamps and be inspired to do something rather than yearn for your ex.

 

[soulforge]

Are you sure that is the case ?

getfitt66

i have dumped this woman on quite a few occasions... gone no contact...

then a week later, started getting emails...

"cant believe you dumped me blah blah"

"i hope you treat your next girlfriend better blah blah"

"i love you & miss you, take care blah blah

"talk to me i love you"


and this cycle continues.... i should have dumped her & just walked away... should never have gone back to her & kept this cycle continues

what i have come to realize is, good woman don't do this... a good woman does not push his boyfriend or partner to the point, where he has to keep dumping her again & again

the only time i have gone back to her, is when i have genuinely f@cked up & as a good human being i have made up to her & apologized to her

but the problem with woman like this is... when you apologize to them, or make up to them... they use that against you... to gain the control in the relationship... everything this is about control to these demons!!

all i can do now, is stay away from this c@nt for the rest of my life!!!

 

[soulforge]

You know soulforge. I know exactly how you feel.

It took me a while to get over my ex-gf and the only thing that can help is no-contact time.

Songs on the radio even had a new meaning. There was "Stompa", "Inner Ninja", and even some 80's songs that had a new life after that experience.
Then you've got Cher "Do you believe in life after love?". It is funny how songs with lyrics that had no meaning to me, and were just nice songs, suddenly clicked after I dumped my "ex". Then you've got "Don't you forget about me"(Simple Minds), "Don't come around her no more"(Tom Pretty), Pet shop boys "You are always on my mind", and "Listen to the Rain", from Enya, "Valarie/High Life" Steve Winwood.

It's like the break-up and post-love experience had a life of its own.

All I can say, is I hope you don't have as bad as I did getting over my ex. Since I had an amazing summer with her, I had a virtual re-run this summer and especially mid-late August I got a real memory hit. Now it's really fading down and I don't feel any connection like before. Do you find some songs have new meaning to you after the break-up?

As time passes you'll get over her. You are on a DJ board so hopefully you can read other people's journals or bootcamps and be inspired to do something rather than yearn for your ex.

corrector to be honest... i don't have that many fond memories of her... yes there was good times, mostly the sex etc

but i don't think i bonded with her very much... i always felt a certain amount of unease around her..

like a voice in my head was constantly telling me - DONT TRUST THIS WOMAN, DONT TRUST THIS WOMAN

there was some good times, but i think the bad out weighed the good


good looks & great sex, does not mean s@hit, if your getting head ****ked by some low value nut job

 

[GetFit66]

and this cycle continues.... i should have dumped her & just walked away... should never have gone back to her & kept this cycle continues

what i have come to realize is, good woman don't do this... a good woman does not push his boyfriend or partner to the point, where he has to keep dumping her again & again

the only time i have gone back to her, is when i have genuinely f@cked up & as a good human being i have made up to her & apologized to her

but the problem with woman like this is... when you apologize to them, or make up to them... they use that against you... to gain the control in the relationship... everything this is about control to these demons!!

all i can do now, is stay away from this c@nt for the rest of my life!!!

Plus all that **** in your original thread about the racism, and her friend being called over whenever she calls you. It's a ploy to make you feel like a low level **** so she can keep you under her thumb.