"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Dumped for being friends with past cheating ONS

JohnJones

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Should a g/f be friends with a past cheating ONS

I've tried to edit this to be more eye catching. I can't figure out if my friend's b/f just didn't like her that much and wouldn't put up with cr*p or what:

I was talking to an old female friend of mine who recently got dumped by her recent b/f because she was still friends with a guy she had cheated on an older b/f with.

Current b/f identified that it was because when they were getting to know each other she told him a story about when she went away to an annual party (without her then-b/f) and had sex with a mutual college friend of hers and the then-b/f. She says it was a terrible mistake and regrets it and that the sex itself was horrible and awkward. It happened about 3 years ago and about 1 year before she started hanging out with the current b/f.

As she told it, the current b/f broke up with her when he found out that she was basically still friends with the ONS with very occasional contact, that she and the ONS had talked about it and decided that the attraction might have been there and they gave into it once mistakenly but wasn't an issue any longer.

She also told him that when she went to that party this past year, the ONS was there with his wife and was lamenting that he shouldn't have gotten married, etc. (I don't know if this means the ONS wants her instead or what). She suggested to him that the current b/f was insecure on the subject.

I told her that I could see the b/f's issue and that if it were me, I would think it inappropriate for her to still be friends with the guy. Anyone disagree?
 
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"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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JohnJones

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For the record, she also admitted to him that she had previously been an insecure little child and that that's part of why she had cheated, and that she seriously disliked herself for doing it.

My question though is whether its innappropriate for her to still be even casual friends with the ONS?
 

JohnJones

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Bumping my own post.

Frankly I think she needs to believe that the b/f is "insecure" which sounds better than what I think, which was that be did a cost/benefit analysis and she came up lacking, this "friends" thing being the last straw.
 

JohnJones

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I was pretty sure most people would have my view, that either the b/f (1) found the friendship disrespectful and/or inappropriate or (2) thay he just didn't like her enough to put up with the b.s.

Maybe its too obvious for most to bother commenting on
 
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