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Dumped by mistress... I can't really blame her...

Dingo

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Well it has happened..... After several years the mistress dumped me.... I can't really blame her.

I noticed she had been going cold... Something was bothering her for a while. Today I got "the text"....

We really had a good thing going but living in the shadows was always hard for her. I never made promises to her. As much as I love her I haven't been able to cut ties with my wife. The financial hit would be too high. She has decided to move on. We had a good long run.

So we will have to figure some sort of modified NC since we have business dealings.....

I'm not going to lie..... it hurts... a lot... but I am a MAN and I will overcome...
 

Jetleg

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Damit i hate cheaters, males or females, just finish the thing with your wife or at least respect her enough and dont f*ck other women.
 

thatfeel

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Why so many cheaters on this forum lately? What happened to valuing integrity as a true don juan and/or 'alpha'?
 

Julian

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lol you fell in love with your mistress? i thought you are supposed to love the wife a an just bang the mistress? boys this is why marriage aint for me...dont wanna be stuck unhappy
 

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Bible_Belt

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As much as I love her
Remember that you loved her as a mistress, though. When she was always in competition with your wife, she was on her best behavior. But when you make a mistress into a wife, the competition is gone, and she will stop trying so hard.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Remember that you loved her as a mistress, though. When she was always in competition with your wife, she was on her best behavior. But when you make a mistress into a wife, the competition is gone, and she will stop trying so hard.
This is 110% true. I had a mistress that I married. While she was a mistress, she fvcked and svcked 3 times a day, I was cooked for and waited on... As soon as she got me, she stopped all of that. The competition was over.
 

Von

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If you had dumped her, she would have called the wife.

I don't get why you don't move the mistress.... from previous post I saw in, she seems better overall than the wife
 

PantyWhisperer

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No judgement here - it happens to the best of us. Yeah, it's damn tangled web to unweave. You have to grieve the loss of a relationship in the middle of your true world that includes wife and possibly kids. You can't just fall apart. You have to stealth grieve, which is way harder than stealth loving. It's gonna show on you more via the break up than it did during the relationship. My own situation a few years ago was complicated by an abortion. How do you grieve the loss of a child along with the relationship that produced it - all the while living your normal life and not transmitting that any thing is wrong? You learn to cry in the shower when you can - that's how.
Good luck Brother!
 

Sho-No-Luv

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No judgement here - it happens to the best of us. Yeah, it's damn tangled web to unweave. You have to grieve the loss of a relationship in the middle of your true world that includes wife and possibly kids. You can't just fall apart. You have to stealth grieve, which is way harder than stealth loving. It's gonna show on you more via the break up than it did during the relationship. My own situation a few years ago was complicated by an abortion. How do you grieve the loss of a child along with the relationship that produced it - all the while living your normal life and not transmitting that any thing is wrong? You learn to cry in the shower when you can - that's how.
Good luck Brother!
Fuuck that! I ain't crying over no biitch, mistress or wife well maybe except for that time when my wife of sixteen years left me Lol! :cry: :whistle:
 

Dingo

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No judgement here - it happens to the best of us. Yeah, it's damn tangled web to unweave. You have to grieve the loss of a relationship in the middle of your true world that includes wife and possibly kids. You can't just fall apart. You have to stealth grieve, which is way harder than stealth loving. It's gonna show on you more via the break up than it did during the relationship. My own situation a few years ago was complicated by an abortion. How do you grieve the loss of a child along with the relationship that produced it - all the while living your normal life and not transmitting that any thing is wrong? You learn to cry in the shower when you can - that's how.
Good luck Brother!
Yup...
 

Desdinova

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I never judge a man who takes on a mistress. We do it for a variety of reasons. I've been there, and I had my reasons for mine.

Of course it's going to hurt. You've essentially had a GF get up and leave. There is absolutely no difference between having a mistress leave and a GF leave. I was a bit bummed out when I had to end the relationship I had with mine. It added a magnificent spark and energy to my life and helped me get through the most difficult part of my dead marriage. However, my mistress was only around for a couple of months. You had yours for a lengthy amount of time.

Take some time, heal, and figure out where you're going to go from here. Whether you leave your wife or take on a new mistress is up to you.
 

Serenity

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Money keeps your marriage together?
That's one way money can make a man unhappy. Since you're still married though I presume it's worth it.
 

Spinach

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Been there. Done that. Got the scars that never heal. Good luck and hang in there. It sucks as she most likely was a best friend that you did all the adventure stuff with over the years. It does get better but takes a hell of a long time. And there is no going back unless you show up with divorce papers in process....
 

PantyWhisperer

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And even if you divorced and were suddenly free to pursue her? You wouldn't want an LTR with a woman will to be anybody's mistress. Double standard, I know, but oh so true. Quality women don't bang married men. There's obviously some damage there
 

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Sev36

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No judgement here - it happens to the best of us. Yeah, it's damn tangled web to unweave. You have to grieve the loss of a relationship in the middle of your true world that includes wife and possibly kids. You can't just fall apart. You have to stealth grieve, which is way harder than stealth loving. It's gonna show on you more via the break up than it did during the relationship. My own situation a few years ago was complicated by an abortion. How do you grieve the loss of a child along with the relationship that produced it - all the while living your normal life and not transmitting that any thing is wrong? You learn to cry in the shower when you can - that's how.
Good luck Brother!

What happened with the abortion part? Did she have an abortion for you? You think of the what ifs?
 
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