"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Dumped by girlfriend with cancer

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Augustus_McCrae

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OP,

It's the most counter intuitive thing as a man to totally internalize that a woman does not truly appreciate the things you do for her and the sacrifices you make. It is a very tough pill to swallow. You did what you did out of kindness and love so don't be too hard on yourself. However, never forget this hard learned lesson and do your utmost to never make the same mistake again.

And if you haven't already, read everything on rollo tomassi's rationalmale website.

-Augustus-
 

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Don Juan
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Thanks for the well thought out reply so. I'm going to look at the books suggested and keeping working on my fitness level. Im making myself get my ass back in the shop to get things done. Live free x, I'm glad this **** is entertaining to someone.
 

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Don Juan
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Im pining over a women with serious health problems who's short and somewhat shapeless with 2 young kids . She also has basically no integrity and because of her health she can't hold down a job even with her degree. So ,how ****ed up am i? I battle myself over this every day. Reading lots of good stuff on here and elsewhere
 

grayclif

Master Don Juan
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It's the most counter intuitive thing as a man to totally internalize that a woman does not truly appreciate the things you do for her and the sacrifices you make. It is a very tough pill to swallow. You did what you did out of kindness and love so don't be too hard on yourself. However, never forget this hard learned lesson and do your utmost to never make the same mistake again.
@Augustus_McCrae - it's input like this that make this site so helpful. Thanks.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Don Juan
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Thank you for taking the time to write. It's not killing me like it was but i still think about it all the time. I work out if town right now so I can't work in my shop.. ive been hitting the gym pretty hard and working in the shop on weekends. Been dating an absolute beautiful girl but still thinking about the ex. I need to do more through the week like suggested. I keep thinking what if she dies soon and I never talk to her again. The obvious answer is who gives a **** but that's the type **** that goes through my mind
 

mrgoodstuff

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Thank you for taking the time to write. It's not killing me like it was but i still think about it all the time. I work out if town right now so I can't work in my shop.. ive been hitting the gym pretty hard and working in the shop on weekends. Been dating an absolute beautiful girl but still thinking about the ex. I need to do more through the week like suggested. I keep thinking what if she dies soon and I never talk to her again. The obvious answer is who gives a **** but that's the type **** that goes through my mind
Don't think bad, she has no integrity, it could be her illness making her worse and more negative too. Happens sometimes. Anyways if you want to move forward the very best thing to do is not to think about her, don't complain about her, don't write about her, and start working on your life and things you like to do.
 

sodbuster

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I'd suggest you read "no more mr. nice guy" I think it fits your situation. You THINK she should love you for all the effort you put in. Doesn't work that way. In fact, IF you were so nice EXPECTING a return, you aren't REALLY a nice guy. You are just a jerk like me working a different angle.....

The only woman who will truly love you is your mother.....
 

The Duke

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When she started flaking you should have ended it. A chick only flakes due to low interest. By going overboard & getting pissed at her all you did, was give her an excuse to make you look like the bad one. Its always best to stay calm and let them feel the guilt of their own shady dealings. And trust me, in 5yrs she will look back on it and still feel the guilt for treating you badly. I’ve experience this before! Women carriage negative baggage with them forever.
And yes, never get so into a chic that it sets your relationship up for failure, even in long term deals. Its sad that it has to be this way, but thats how it is.

You deserve some of the blame for this, but you also had a loser on your hands. Someone that can’t be up front with you but still accepts your generousity is a piece of schitt low life.

She will pull the same tricks on your replacement. Just sit back and watch.
 

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Don Juan
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Yep, I agree with you. No matter what happens it's allways Ultimately your fault. The fact she was sick kind of confused the situation a little for me.. big ****ing learning experience. I let this **** **** my whole year up so far. Ive been working on dragging myself back to the living so to speak. It's hilarious to me that to the bitter end she swore she and this guy were just friends even though she was living with him. I still don't see the point in lying about it
 
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"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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thirdtimescharm

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Yep, I agree with you. No matter what happens it's allways Ultimately your fault. The fact she was sick kind of confused the situation a little for me.. big ****ing learning experience. I let this **** **** my whole year up so far. Ive been working on dragging myself back to the living so to speak. It's hilarious to me that to the bitter end she swore she and this guy were just friends even though she was living with him. I still don't see the point in lying about it
I came late to this thread but the fact that you're still even making any effort to understand her actions shows how far you are from being past it. Whether or not she's sick, she lied, or she's the queen of fvcking england doesn't matter. She's out of your life. You'll never know what her motivations were.

Here's why she did it to you: YOU LET HER.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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