Dumb *****

[TheHomelessNinja]

Alright, although this is my first post, I've been lurking here for quite a while and I've sourced a lot of valuable knowledge and wisdom from you puzzy hungry mongrels. But I got this b1tch, woman, or whatever and she's a headache..A lil background info: I started talking to this girl online maybe 3 years ago on Myspace. She's beautiful, a 10 easily, smart and she also has a great personality (I know I'm putting her up on a pedestal by saying this stuff, but it's true..I guess maybe thats my first mistake) Anyway, we got real close and we started talking on the phone..Only thing was we were both attached at the time, so we never hooked up in the real world. I asked her to meet me a couple of times and she didnt, so I thought fukk this b1tch and stopped speaking to her. She comes back to me every couple of months just to see how I am and whats going on (to fukkin snoop basically) She started emailing me again around 2 weeks ago and we got to talking and I told her that Im getting married (I'm not) on some 'Mario, the princess is in another castle' type sh1t, just to see how she'd react. She sent me this big ass message, which I'll copy and paste below. What I'd love some advice on is how to handle this situation, whats the best way to stop this b1tch being so neurotic and to suck my d1ck? I know I should probably just email her back and call her a fukkin stupid b1tch and tell her I'm gonna hit her with a hammer or something, but I need something a little more subtle and conniving. Here's the message:


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I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

If there's ever such a thing as a relationship graveyard then that would be the little quote I'd have on the tomb of the past. I'm not 19 anymore and the times that I take out to think about everything we've been through, and by taking out I mean letting myself acknowledge that looming presence of the what-ifs that hang like unfinished sentences begging to be completed. It's awkward and hurts in the most beautiful way and takes place somewhere inside me and I'm still not old enough to recognise its location or whatever else looms in there. I don't know what I was so afraid of, I mean I do but it doesn't make sense at least in hindsight. It's the most terrifying thing in the world to find someone you'd willingly give your entire soul to, **** heart or body and that scared me like it would take away my whole being or something. Like the birth of us would be the death of me. Sometimes I wonder if the notion of you has grown into something uncontrollable beyond the you that you actually are but regardless of the fact that I've never known what your hair smells like right after you come out of the shower, you're the realest thing I've ever had all to myself and I cherish that more than, let's just say most things.

I kinda liked it when we pretended to hate each other and threaten to never talk again. Look at us all grown up being rational about sh1t. I feel like I was holding my breath in these past few years, psyching myself up for some kind of love monster that was gonna ruin me by the time he was over cause it's always over (uhhh, according to the powers that be) and by the time I let myself breathe and realise just what the fukk I gave up it became too late...Karma? I knew stepping over those poor little geeks at secondary school would come to haunt me. Promise to bump into me when the divorce settles and a period of grace passes, aight? I'm happy for you though, I have to be right? Cue karma. I know it takes a lot for you to love someone so I know she has to be something special. I bet she doesn't even have a gag reflex.

Yo I think I'm gonna take a little break from this myspace thing after the next reply cause I've never really been good with that whole my best friend's wedding scenario, kna mean? Plus I don't want her tribe hunting me down aaaand I don't have a lot of leverage anymore to make witty bitter remarks, dayum lol....nah, thanks for the music, dimples

I'm always always gonna be in love with you, Michael. We can't turn back time but the future is long and bright and orange, and that keeps me sane.

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ZZZZZZzzZZzzz
I can nearly hear violins in the background every time I read that. I mean it's disgusting. I'm tempted to just reply "fukk off b1tch" but hopefully one of you fine young men can drop me a few jewels of knowledge. Sorry for the long ass post. God bless you all, peace.

 

[Damian]

Wow, you have gotten yourself into quite a mess here!

In my opinion, going "cold" on her was a pretty good move, but saying that you were getting married was a little bit over the line.

If you've never met in the real world, you can toss this girl aside. IF YOU HAVE NEVER HOOKED UP FACE-TO-FACE I would say that this girl is just using guys she meets online as emotional fodder for herself. She might be hot, but she's insecure, and from what I can tell, a complete MESS. If you have any self-respect, remove this girl from your life. She hasn't wanted to meet up with you, but she wants your emotional support. You won't be judged as an ******* if you get her out of your life.

You can talk to her, but don't mention the crazy email that she sent. Speak to her as a friend, but only a friend. Until she actually wants to meet face-to-face, she's just like any other girl online. I wouldn't tell her to FUKK OFF, but instead show her the truth:

She was given every opportunity to connect with you, but she didn't, regardless of any excuse she might use to rationalize her actions. You just got wise to it and did what was good for YOU and moved on.

Get this crazy person out of your life...she was given the opportunity to be a part of your life, but now she's just a burden.

 

[dannyegg4575]

hey man... toy with her. There's nothing wrong with having a ****buddy...

Don't close your door to it.

 

[TheHomelessNinja]

Wow, you have gotten yourself into quite a mess here!

In my opinion, going "cold" on her was a pretty good move, but saying that you were getting married was a little bit over the line.

If you've never met in the real world, you can toss this girl aside. IF YOU HAVE NEVER HOOKED UP FACE-TO-FACE I would say that this girl is just using guys she meets online as emotional fodder for herself. She might be hot, but she's insecure, and from what I can tell, a complete MESS. If you have any self-respect, remove this girl from your life. She hasn't wanted to meet up with you, but she wants your emotional support. You won't be judged as an ******* if you get her out of your life.

You can talk to her, but don't mention the crazy email that she sent. Speak to her as a friend, but only a friend. Until she actually wants to meet face-to-face, she's just like any other girl online. I wouldn't tell her to FUKK OFF, but instead show her the truth:

She was given every opportunity to connect with you, but she didn't, regardless of any excuse she might use to rationalize her actions. You just got wise to it and did what was good for YOU and moved on.

Get this crazy person out of your life...she was given the opportunity to be a part of your life, but now she's just a burden.

Thanks for the reply man, that's some good advice right there. I figure the best thing to do is to just let her go..We've been going around and around in circles for too long now and unless it's a situation where we can be like 'lets meet me at x at y o'clock', there's no point really pursuing it.
The reason I told her i was getting married because I was sure it'd get at least some sort of response out of her. She's notoriously secretive and hides whatever she's feeling really well.
But I'm just not 100% man..It's always seemed like there is some slight hope that we can hook up, but I'm just not sure I have the right keys to open that door.

Anyone else got any suggestions?

 

[Damian]

There is no hope. She's stringing you along and using you as an emotional crutch. Exploiting your emotions and time. Get her out of your life.