Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Dudes just giving up and going it alone... Seems to be growing at work

RickTheToad

Moderator
Joined
Apr 21, 2018
Messages
6,429
Reaction score
4,994
Location
Bridgeport, CT
A few new dudes (and interns) have started at my place of work. They seem to stay to themselves, but can socialize and converse. A couple of them are not dating and seem to just be going life on their own. They work, go home and repeat. They are not ugly nor out of shape; just keep to themselves. They can hold a convo with us at work, but shy away from entertaining the opposite sex. Do more and more younger dudes feel it's not worth the effort or stress and just go it alone? This is not the first time I've noticed this at work. Since I'm in the largest city in the State of Connecticut, we're not necessarily a small city by any means.
 

Julian

Banned
Joined
Jul 30, 2003
Messages
4,797
Reaction score
1,233
A few new dudes (and interns) have started at my place of work. They seem to stay to themselves, but can socialize and converse. A couple of them are not dating and seem to just be going life on their own. They work, go home and repeat. They are not ugly nor out of shape; just keep to themselves. They can hold a convo with us at work, but shy away from entertaining the opposite sex. Do more and more younger dudes feel it's not worth the effort or stress and just go it alone? This is not the first time I've noticed this at work. Since I'm in the largest city in the State of Connecticut, we're not necessarily a small city by any means.
What field are you in. Certain jobs attract beta males especially office environments
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
15,860
Reaction score
8,564
Since they're new on the job, maybe they're focusing on getting the job down correctly. That would be my priority in that situation. They can always flirt later.
 

biggoal

Banned
Joined
Jul 19, 2019
Messages
3,699
Reaction score
801
Age
40
Since they're new on the job, maybe they're focusing on getting the job down correctly. That would be my priority in that situation. They can always flirt later.
Don't forget #metoo as well.
 

Spaz

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2018
Messages
8,441
Reaction score
6,932
Guys don't go around seducing women when they just landed in a new work environment.

Even at this stage in my life, I don't go around seducing women everywhere I go but I most certainly can hold a conversation with women if the need arises.

BTW what does a women know that's exciting?

The latest gossip or the latest fashion?
 

biggoal

Banned
Joined
Jul 19, 2019
Messages
3,699
Reaction score
801
Age
40
Guys don't go around seducing women when they just landed in a new work environment.

Even at this stage in my life, I don't go around seducing women everywhere I go but I most certainly can hold a conversation with women if the need arises.

BTW what does a women know that's exciting?

The latest gossip or the latest fashion?
Yea. Like my part time job has a lot of 18-22 year old girls. Well most at college right now but when they talk it's always about stupid stuff like clothing, complaining about boys, movies, actors, food, school or just stupid stuff in general I have no interest in or can really relate to.
 

Poonani Maker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 29, 2007
Messages
4,421
Reaction score
927
For the past 2 weeks I've been "seducing" a slightly feminist (I may be able to make her a 'former' feminist idk) veterinarian. I shared with her what we had in common - family in NC. I shared photos, and what we both like to do, she likes hiking (I told her I prefer the beach), she told me about her dad (I now forget what she said about him heh), she's blond early 30s good smile. She has been calling me "sir" for the past 2 days, I think I know how to take it yet not sure her implication. I talked to her friend (not pretty to me) more today than her, she smiled Real big at me as we parted ways today. "Sir!" I think I can be too butting in to people's lives and cut to the chase and start acting like we already know each other. It's very crass, very bold, and "pushy" I'd say...it's like a "When did he (a stranger) just move in??" I'm not very professional, but I'm a professional rule-breaker and will get my foot in the door of people quickly and build familiarity from A to Z. I must seem VERY strange to a lot of women, just not normal, but fvck I can't help it as I've just tried to build a real connection quick, to share, to act as family too fast really I push it past them and it's not nice it's rude, but I push it, keep pushing it and they do not resist cause they're women (now what they say when I leave who knows? and I ignore that possibility and don't really care what they say behind my back let em they're b!tches they talk behind EVERYONE's backs when the door shuts and you're gone outta sight). I have no idea how grotesque my behavior is, but I get away with a lot and may be considered a boar, just careless in a china shop knocking over all protocol and rules and proper ways. I'm walking freedom and most people can't live like that, especially at all times. I kinda wish I had more restraint and thus would be just like everybody else. I wouldn't know how to act though after all these years of no fux. I gotta seem so deplorable, so disgusting to these girls though, but I am far beyond. No matter what I do, at my age, I could never turn back, the damage is done, the deal is done. When I was younger I had to worry about am I being improper here untoward there? Am I overstepping my bounds? Today, I am free-flowing incarnate and it must offend somebody, but I keep moving and rolling on so I guess they let it slide, just this once, then again and again and then again and before long we are in on each others' biz, we are yoked, well, might as well Fvck or get to know each other better. I get away with it. I'm all wrong though, I know.
 

RickTheToad

Moderator
Joined
Apr 21, 2018
Messages
6,429
Reaction score
4,994
Location
Bridgeport, CT
For the past 2 weeks I've been "seducing" a slightly feminist (I may be able to make her a 'former' feminist idk) veterinarian. I shared with her what we had in common - family in NC. I shared photos, and what we both like to do, she likes hiking (I told her I prefer the beach), she told me about her dad (I now forget what she said about him heh), she's blond early 30s good smile. She has been calling me "sir" for the past 2 days, I think I know how to take it yet not sure her implication. I talked to her friend (not pretty to me) more today than her, she smiled Real big at me as we parted ways today. "Sir!" I think I can be too butting in to people's lives and cut to the chase and start acting like we already know each other. It's very crass, very bold, and "pushy" I'd say...it's like a "When did he (a stranger) just move in??" I'm not very professional, but I'm a professional rule-breaker and will get my foot in the door of people quickly and build familiarity from A to Z. I must seem VERY strange to a lot of women, just not normal, but fvck I can't help it as I've just tried to build a real connection quick, to share, to act as family too fast really I push it past them and it's not nice it's rude, but I push it, keep pushing it and they do not resist cause they're women (now what they say when I leave who knows? and I ignore that possibility and don't really care what they say behind my back let em they're b!tches they talk behind EVERYONE's backs when the door shuts and you're gone outta sight). I have no idea how grotesque my behavior is, but I get away with a lot and may be considered a boar, just careless in a china shop knocking over all protocol and rules and proper ways. I'm walking freedom and most people can't live like that, especially at all times. I kinda wish I had more restraint and thus would be just like everybody else. I wouldn't know how to act though after all these years of no fux. I gotta seem so deplorable, so disgusting to these girls though, but I am far beyond. No matter what I do, at my age, I could never turn back, the damage is done, the deal is done. When I was younger I had to worry about am I being improper here untoward there? Am I overstepping my bounds? Today, I am free-flowing incarnate and it must offend somebody, but I keep moving and rolling on so I guess they let it slide, just this once, then again and again and then again and before long we are in on each others' biz, we are yoked, well, might as well Fvck or get to know each other better. I get away with it. I'm all wrong though, I know.
WTF?
 

Serenity

Moderator
Joined
Aug 19, 2013
Messages
4,952
Reaction score
4,773
Age
32
Location
Eye of the storm
Do more and more younger dudes feel it's not worth the effort or stress and just go it alone?
As mentioned, this is normal. They haven't necessarily given up, they might just not feel pressured to spend energy pursuing women and are satisfied with their current way of life. Basically they're not particularly motivated to do that. If you only observe them at work it could also be principle, they might have no interest in such relationships at their workplace.

I definitely get why they are this way. It often takes too much effort to pursue women, that's not how it's supposed to be. Countless men on this forum has collectively wasted a large amount of energy on this pursuit, I'd say it's not worth it. Women are supposed to be positive and fun, but I sense so much negativity about it here. We push too hard, to the point where women is work, it's not enjoyable. When we do so the entire point is lost.

Some guys makes their entire life revolve around women. They go to the gym for women, they pick clothes for women, everything they say is for women (constant game) and 90% of what they think is within that frame. It's insane. I was like that for a good while, but I quit that sh!t, I got exhausted by it. As soon as I did my attention got back to the moment, I felt free and immersed in life. Ironically that was just what I needed to get women effortlessly, I stopped trying, stopped wasting time and effort. I just flowed in the moment, no pressure whatsoever, no goal regarding women to achieve. I was so light and carefree that women started gravitating towards me, all I had to do was go effortlessly with the flow.

I felt like I had hacked life, I had spent all that time and energy going against the flow for nothing. I just give up and all I wanted just came to me basically for free, no it actually gave me energy so even better than free.

I'm just saying, the guys you're talking about are closer to it than the guys who's trying hard.
 

Hal9000

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 2, 2019
Messages
741
Reaction score
1,095
I'm stoic and totally nonsexual at work and a dirty freak when I'm not. You might be surprised what people do when they aren't on the clock.
 

oldmanofthesea

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 23, 2018
Messages
1,600
Reaction score
3,308
Age
47
Pretty normal for many average men that age.... Even 20 years ago. From 18-23 I didn't pay much attention to women. I was too busy doing my thing. Working multiple jobs, modifying cars that I would race, and hanging out with my male friends. Very rarely, a girl I thought was hot would throw herself at me and when that happened, I'd bite, but otherwise I was happy living my life. Some guys are born with a natural gift with women, both in having exceptional looks and in attitude (well, the attitude comes partially from parents, friends, and external response to good looks). Most aren't. For the guys who aren't, women are actually a huge mystery, there is no class or book most men are aware of to learn the secrets to women, and with so many other awesome things to see, do and experience in life, why bother expending time and energy on something that isn't having a net-positive effect on you?

Stormrider made a great point that we here on the forum know about game, so it's something WE are focused on (but not necessarily all these young average guys who haven't even discovered game). And it really is a game for people who aren't naturals. Some people get sucked into it and focus on it until they achieve mastery because that's simply what men are naturally programmed to do when they are presented with a challenge. Many of us are in that boat, somewhere in our evolution, and a few have achieved the kind of mastery where they no longer have to work for it any more.
 

Xenom0rph

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 12, 2017
Messages
1,931
Reaction score
2,472
.....because it's work.... These dudes show up, are friendly and cordial with coworkers, do their job and leave...... Sounds like some d@mn good employees to me....

The biggest beta SIMPs are the guys trying to hit on female coworkers, they're oblivious to the fact that these females are dissing them behind their backs - i see it all the time.....
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
15,860
Reaction score
8,564
Some guys makes their entire life revolve around women. They go to the gym for women, they pick clothes for women, everything they say is for women (constant game) and 90% of what they think is within that frame. It's insane. I was like that for a good while, but I quit that sh!t, I got exhausted by it. As soon as I did my attention got back to the moment, I felt free and immersed in life. Ironically that was just what I needed to get women effortlessly, I stopped trying, stopped wasting time and effort. I just flowed in the moment, no pressure whatsoever, no goal regarding women to achieve. I was so light and carefree that women started gravitating towards me, all I had to do was go effortlessly with the flow.
I've been reading this book on Transurfing, which someone here recommended. It's about choosing your own reality. I've read enough of it to decide it's a bunch of metaphysical hokum. However, there's still some good advice in there.

One thing it talks about is how if you attach too much importance to something (like chasing women), you're likely to bring about failure. It's good to take action with intent to accomplish something that you want, but you don't want to attach undue importance to it. Because then you might start acting unnaturally, and getting worried or nervous about it, trying too hard, and start making mistakes. A healthier attitude is one of detachment, and not being outcome dependent (they teach the same thing here). And if you are relaxed and at ease, and going with the flow, as you say, you're more likely to find success.
 

Serenity

Moderator
Joined
Aug 19, 2013
Messages
4,952
Reaction score
4,773
Age
32
Location
Eye of the storm
@zekko Exactly and even if you don't get exactly the success you previously desired it's at least not eating away at you anymore.
 

RickTheToad

Moderator
Joined
Apr 21, 2018
Messages
6,429
Reaction score
4,994
Location
Bridgeport, CT
I've been reading this book on Transurfing, which someone here recommended. It's about choosing your own reality. I've read enough of it to decide it's a bunch of metaphysical hokum. However, there's still some good advice in there.
Is that like those choose your own adventure type of books?
 

EyeOnThePrize

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 9, 2019
Messages
1,123
Reaction score
1,827
Age
33
Everything is transient. Change is the only constant. The same sustainable ideology of detachment is echoed in many philosophies. It's what kills the ego, it's what keeps you level headed. It's what brings peace of mind in the face of any situation, even death. The peace of mind brings awareness, which brings a deeper connection. Detachment creates genuine appreciation and unconditional desire.
 
Top