Dude, wtf? Am I an A-hole?

[TheEdgeOf]

Alright, let me start this out by telling you a little bit about myself. I've been enlightened by this website for a little over a year now. I've made a lot of changes away from AFCness and I'm actually pretty proud of myself for that. I think the funnest things in the world are Neg-hits, I constantly use them. But, I haven't really been getting serious with girls much just 'cause I'm not really interested in most of them. I meet a lot of girls at college who I either don't like enough to do anything serious with or who are already taken.

Anyways, some of my AFC friends rip on me for this, they think that I can't get a GF, when in reality I don't want to, I usually just tell them that I would have a girlfriend If I wanted one 'cause it really isn't that hard, and that I just haven't found one who's good enough for me (I say this jokingly, of course.) One of my friends however is taking it seriously And thinks I'm coming off as a total arrogant jackass. Now I'm pretty sure that I don't come of as one and I'm wondering, would it make sense for an AFC friend to think that because he doesn't know about Don Jaunism?

 

[Warrior74]

Don't over neg. Like a kid with a new toy you can over use it and come off as an ass. Also to AFC friends who are watching you grow they can mistake new found confidence for arrogance. You don't have to tell them what you really think. Let think what they want about you. You know the truth for yourself. If you have grown stronger, you have to know that sometimes being silent is a sign of strength as well. A rich man who constantly talks about how he's rich might seem to be an arrogant *******. but being rich is his reality. now he has to be wise enough not to do so in the company of those who aren't. this is why when people change, they sometimes have to leave old friends behind if those old friends cannot and will not adapt to his new life. the clampetts didn't stay out in texas did they? george and weezy moved on up. its life.

oh. and using teh term Don Juanism is just lame. You're just becoming a better man and improving yourself.

 

[TheEdgeOf]

oh. and using teh term Don Juanism is just lame. You're just becoming a better man and improving yourself.

lol, I sat there for two minutes trying to find a word in place of that, but I couldn't think of anything.

And thanks, but I think that maybe I am coming off as a bit of an A**hole though, I mean, the whole part about not having a GF 'cause I haven't found a good girl yet, and not because I can't get one, which is true, kinda does make me seem like an arrogant jackass, but it's true. I mean, now, for me, it's actually pretty easy to talk with girls and get the very interested in me, but I just never bother to take it to the next level. The few girls that I have been really interested in are already taken.

So basically, by telling them the truth, I come off as a jackass. What should I do then?

 

[demonic]

You do realize girls like *******s?, i know sooo many girls tell me how they're bloke hits em and talks **** to em and they say how much they love em blah blah..

 

[AlanB]

I don't think you sound like an ******* for saying that you don't want a girlfriend but think you could get one. I suppose it depends on tone of voice etc.

I had a similar thing where some friends said that they thought I had become 'ruthless' as I sleep with more women now and go out and tell them in no certain terms that I am looking for someone to sleep with, rather then say 'yeah, I'm waiting for the right girl to come along'. I just counter it by saying that I am sick of being messed around and that I am not being ruthless/being an ******* but I am being proactive and just accepting the realities of life.

 

[demonic]

i once told a girl in no uncertain terms while i was half drunk that "i'm here for *****" her face was a picture and was worth it lol.

 

[AlanB]

Haha. It can actually work though. I was in a club six months ago and met some girl. Had been chatting, dancing etc. She introduced me to her friends and then at the end of the night, when I told her I was going and asked if she was coming with, she said 'oh, I can't, my friends etc. I'll give you my number' so I said wait a minute, I'm going for a smoke, you coming? So she came out for a cigarette (the smoking ban is good for something at least ) and I said 'Look, I'm going home now, I could take your number but to be honest, I won't call, I'm not looking to date. Your friends seem ok with each other in there, they have been fine all night, I'm getting a taxi now, so if you want to come with fine, otherwise, it was nice meeting you.' And she ended up hopping in on the proviso that I paid for the taxi (which was fine by me anyway)

 

[MotownMack]

accepting the realities of life

This is really what it's all about when it comes to being judged by others for your behavior. I have a buddy who has been working his own game for a while, who does get some action, but nothing over like an HB6.5, maybe one 7. He could really benefit from some of this info, but I can kinda tell that when we talk about it, he kind of acts like it's beneath him, like he shouldn't have to try that hard. Which I find interesting because he's developed his own methods that at times appear far more pathetic than taking an intellectual approach and trying to understand women. (I think part of it is also that he has an overinflated view of himself, that makes him beyond taking advice... good to have confidence, but that attitude isn't helping him get better quality women, which he definitely all about- and he's way more caught up in looks than I am).

Anyway, that is pretty much my response to him when I can tell he's kinda rolling his eyes at me... "Hey, I didn't create this game, I am just a part of it. I've accepted that reality."

Don't over neg. Like a kid with a new toy you can over use it and come off as an ass.

One of the books I was reading said that the neg is the most overused and misunderstood aspects of game. He didn't go into detail why he felt that way, but I have an idea as to why. They are easy to understand and easy to work into a conversation, and even when execute poorly or on a disinterested target, they get a reaction. The problem is, they can back fire, and in social setting where there are lot of people around, can make you look like a jerk. Remember, you're generally supposed to be saying something in a complimentary fashion, that she'll see as flaw. But it shouldn't be anything too serious.

 

[Warrior74]

btw. don't forget about just basic plain ole jealousy. AFC friends can ****block and turn into your biggest haters.

 

[MooseGod]

^ Amen.

Don't give the haters a second thought.

And when your friends rip on you for not having a GF, just think about how much fun it will be in a few years when you're having manly adventures in foreign countries, buying motorcycles, jet skis, guitars, or whatever when they're married to a frumpy looking ***** and trying to raise a bunch of ugly little hellions.

Yeah.