Drunk yet passionate kiss has me confused

[Jariel]

I'll try and keep this as concise as possible, but would appreciate some clear-headed opinions.

I hung out with a friend a few nights ago. She has a long term boyfriend who she brushed off and lied to so she could be with me that night. She got quite drunk, started coming onto me and asked to go back to my place. Not being the sort of guy who steals girlfriends or takes advantage of drunk friends, I said I thought it was a bad idea. She told me she has no feelings for him and said she could make up some story about being with a female friend.

I'm well aware that women are flirtatious and dramatic when drunk, but she seemed genuinely hurt that I rejected her. I started walking her to the taxi rank to see her home when she burst out crying. I stopped her, told her that I really like her, but she'd had to much to drink and it wasn't a good time at which point she kissed me.

This was not your average drunken kiss, however. In fact, it was possibly the most passionate and intense kiss I've experienced for a very long time. Then she held onto me very intensly and didn't move or say anything for nearly 10 minutes.

I really think a lot of this girl and I'm very attracted to her, but I can't tell if any of this meant something or if it was just "beer goggles" and drunken antics. Right now she seems very reserved when I try talking to her, but am not sure whether this is because she thinks I rejected her.

Any opinions on this or any advice on what to do from here? Bearing in mind there's a boyfriend and a friendship complicating matters.

 

[penkitten]

there is an old saying:
a drunk man says what a sober man feels.

dont confuse this with:
a drunk chick does what she wouldnt do sober.

 

[AlwaysExcel]

Sounds like she wanted to cheat on her BF with you. She got drunk to drown out her logical mind and give her an excuse. You acted logical and rengaged her logical mind. She probably felt invalidated because you pointed out what she was doing and rejected her advances. In other words, she probably felt like a slut and felt like you were rejecting her for acting slutty. She might've also felt invalidated because her allure wasn't enough to overpower your logical mind. Like would you say that stuff to Pamela Anderson (or whoever is the epitome of sex appeal for you) if she tried to hump you while she was still with Tommy Lee?

She's probably acting reserved because she's embarassed.

As far as what to do, I'd just try to act like nothing happened and treat her normal. Maybe she'll break up with BF, maybe not. Right now she's with him and you're not down with helping people cheat right? So why stress about trying to get her? If you're feeling oneitis, chase other girls.

As far as not taking advantage of drunk friends, get that out of your mind. That's an AFC mindset. Lots of times, girls get drunk to lower their inhibitions and have an excuse to be naughty. Hell, back in my AFC days when I had some Christian inhibitions, I used to do the same thing, hoping some girl would take advantage of me and I could blame it on the drink. It's just a weak female attitude that wants to be led.

 

[Luscious]

Originally posted by AlwaysExcel
Sounds like she wanted to cheat on her BF with you. She got drunk to drown out her logical mind and give her an excuse.

As far as not taking advantage of drunk friends, get that out of your mind. That's an AFC mindset. Lots of times, girls get drunk to lower their inhibitions and have an excuse to be naughty. Hell, back in my AFC days when I had some Christian inhibitions, I used to do the same thing, hoping some girl would take advantage of me and I could blame it on the drink. It's just a weak female attitude that wants to be led.

Correct on both counts, in my opinion. Ever notice how many 'confessionals' you hear from women are "We had too much to drink and one thing led to another..."? Women drink to have a viable excuse to put out. It's a way to ignore the anti-slvt defense, basically. The best thing about it is that her friends likely have said the same excuse before and so it's a socially acceptable excuse - one that other women can relate to.

My two cents.

Oh yeah, and leave her alone. A chick that leaves her boyfriend for you will just as soon leave you for the next hot thing.

 

[Jariel]

Thanks a lot for the mature responses. I guess this is kind of what I wanted to hear, yet it does make a lot of sense and would explain some other things I hadn't thought about.

Another thing...

As far as not taking advantage of drunk friends, get that out of your mind. That's an AFC mindset. Lots of times, girls get drunk to lower their inhibitions and have an excuse to be naughty.

I'd never really thought about it like this. I was in a dilemma about whether I was being too naive and too much of a "nice guy" and I believe now that I was.

Anyway, thanks again. I think I may be on the verge of oneitis, but I'm going to put it behind me and not to pursue her.