Drop the macho act! Don't be afraid to cry! It's wrong to think about sex with her!

[Smack]

Those are some of the basic messages that our feminised society is instilling into man's heads in an effort to tame masculinity. Relationship and dating 'advice' from many sources, including men's magazines, TV, internet sites, reinforces this message that somehow masculinity and having testosterone flowing through your veins is inherently evil, immoral and degrading to women; a backwards part of humanity that is not compatible with modern civilisation, a force of oppression of women and male patriarchy which must be stopped.

Here are some gems from Men's Health (emphasise mine to show just how plain ... ****e ... this advice is) on how to attract ladies:

Empathise

Straight men don't do empathy. That's because, unlike sympathy, it's hard work. It requires you to put yourself in someone else's shoes to understand their feelings. And gay men are masters at it. If a woman cries, a straight man will pat her on the back; a gay pal will join in the wailing, and sometimes that's exactly what a woman wants.

Yes, but dear Men's Health, we're not trying to be just friends with women, we're trying to bang them! This is the fallacy that being emotionally close to a woman is only one step away to having sex with her. As any of us who were foolish enough to get into the platonic friends with a girl who used us as an emotional tampon will know, being emotionally close to a girl does not at all mean you will ever get sex with her!

Drop the macho act

Chest beating might impress your male mates, but it cuts no ice with women. In fact, one of the main reasons women and gay men get on so well is because of their shared loathing of aggressive macho posturing. It's why, when confronted with a violent situation, 80% of women say they'd walk away or negotiate the situation rather than get stuck in.

If chest beating is a metaphor for typically masculine, testosteronised behaviour, then this couldn't be more wrong. Women love men, not wimps, not Nice Guys, not boys, but men. Fortunately, biology does not change even if women are brainwashed into thinking they should be attracted to this type of new male-with-penis (because, honestly, one could hardly call him a man, could they?).

Let your guard down

Stoicism might be an effect male self-defence mechanism, but it's as boring as hell to women. Vulnerability, on the other hand, is sexy. Gay men have always known this. So next time you're with a woman, drop the stiff upper lip act - be bold and say that sometimes you just can't cope and burst into tears. Then let her pull you tightly to her breast.

A man crying in front of a woman has the same effect on her sexuality as the dangle berries on a baboon's bottom. Yuck.

Blink

According to the Families & Social Capital Research Group, the absence of any sexual agenda with gay men boosts women's self esteem - they feel valued for their personality. However, men are programmed to nipple-gaze, which tends to belie your true intentions. So, to disguise your interest, flutter your eyelids.

Yet again we are being dictated to that our masculine desires are wrong in today's world. The downside to being afraid of them and not embracing them, in believing that they are wrong and you're ashamed of them, is that women will relegate you quickly and promptly to the friend zone whilst questioning your sexuality.

What's worrying is that this is from a men's magazine, which is meant to be for men, giving us good tips. Hundreds of thousands of men will read this then be converted into this new breed of sensitive androgynous males, giving us men condescending attitudes for our 'primitiveness' in following our testosterone.

Anyone got any other appallingly poor 'advice' from what's supposed to be good reliable sources for men? This has probably been done a million times before but not until recently did I discover how deep this ****e is entrenched in our society that even men's mags are trying to turn is feminine...

But then again on the positive more feminine wimps means less competition for us real men, thus easier for us to score.

 

[Maxtro]

Where did you find that crap? Was it the April 1st edition or something? Why the hell are they telling men to act gay? Do gay men have sex with women? Do women want to have sex with their gay friends?

Even more importantly gay men act very similar to women. This advice is telling us to act like women, to get women

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

So essentially, the better you emulate a homosexual man the better a heterosexual you'll be. This is exactly the same premise as Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. The idea is that gay men are completely neutered, and therefore do not represent a sexual threat - thus they become privy to the "inner world" of how women think and can show you how to act as a heterosexual should by emulating a homosexual.

 

[Smack]

Where did you find that crap? Was it the April 1st edition or something? Why the hell are they telling me to act gay? Do gay men have sex with women? Do women want to have sex with their gay friends?

Even more importantly gay men act very similar to women. This advice is telling us to act like women, to get women

Yeah, I had a hard time deciding whether this was a parody of modern feminised advice which is readily given out nowadays or actually sincere. I chose the later, given that it was part of an article entitled "The Definite Guide to Women" - what a joke.

So essentially, the better you emulate a homosexual man the better a heterosexual you'll be. This is exactly the same premise as Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. The idea is that gay men are completely neutered, and therefore do not represent a sexual threat - thus they become privy to the "inner world" of how women think and can show you how to act as a heterosexual should by emulating a homosexual.

Exactly. It's based on the logical fallacy that the closer you can be to a woman, the more likely you are to get laid. This as we at sosuave all know could not be further from the truth. Opposites attract, masculine is the opposite of feminine, therefore the least feminine you are the more likely you are to get laid.

 

[Monster]

You are from Britain? The Men's Health you get there is different from the one we get here in the US. Haha I've never seen anything like that before in MH.

 

[Alle_Gory]

I just threw up in my mouth a little.


Wailing!? WTF.

 

[Luveno]

Let your guard down

Stoicism might be an effect male self-defence mechanism, but it's as boring as hell to women. Vulnerability, on the other hand, is sexy. Gay men have always known this. So next time you're with a woman, drop the stiff upper lip act - be bold and say that sometimes you just can't cope and burst into tears. Then let her pull you tightly to her breast.

Funny. One of my recent gals told me that she is drawn to how guarded and private I am.

So, in essence, I'm doing the exact opposite as this article advises.

Did a woman write this article?