Driveon's Bootcamp Journal

[driveon]

This is long, but I'm writing it for my sake, not yours. Read what you want.

So I found the PUA(including DJ) scene summer of 2005. I got a FB in December of 05 that lasted til a few months ago. During this time I maintained my freedom to date other girls but I didn't because I was getting sex for the first time and I just didn't care about challenging myself.

The sex is gone and I've completely quit internet porn so I'm hungry to venture out and become more social. I've read a ton of **** and I just want to get out in the field in a structured sort of way so I'm doing the DJ bootcamp.

I used to suffer from social anxiety disorder and depression and before picking up PUA, I spent all my time recovering from these 2 sons of *****es. Most people suffer these things their entire lives so in overcoming them I know I'm a capable human being but Moving from total isolation to being somewhat average was a pain in the ass, so I can only assume the same about going from average to being a PUA master (or DJ master).

I care about this stuff though. I really do. My parents raised me in an isolated environment and my mom is the most manipulative person I've ever met (thanks mom for training me how to manipulate people instead of forming healthy relations with them...) but awareness is the first step in change.

Within the last 2 weeks, I realised a deep and dark fear of regressing back into depression. I realised that I don't push myself too hard for fear of losing control and not being able to function at school and work. This is basically what the climax of my depression was like.

So I took swift and thorough action: I've collected NLP techniques and trained myself to calm down no matter what I'm feeling and I'm dedicated to destroying the perfectionist side of me that is always putting me down.

I feel prepared to move foward. I'm going to post my experiences, questions, whatever here everyday. I already do this for a blog I started to help me quit internet porn so I don't see this as excessive.

my blog for quitting porn: http://driveon2985.blogspot.com/

 

[driveon]

Week: 1 Day: 1

What I liked about today: I read through the listed articles. To summarise:

Article 1
Meeting women takes work and dedication. If I want sex and beautiful women, I have to get off my ass and quit complaining. By doing the bootcamp I'm taking action towards this goal.

Article 2
"A man is a guy who is not scared of his testosterone." He wants to win and he has a passion for life. A man pursues his dreams; women are icing on the cake. He is focused and determined. He moves about without hesitation or shyness and he learns from experiences instead of avoiding mistakes. A man stands up for whats right. He commands respect. A man isn't available and doesn't appologize for his desires. He has conviction. He solves problems, he doesn't place blame. Failure is a temporary set-back. He knows where he's going. He doesn't have to prove himself.

Article 3
Confidence is a belief in yourself that you are capable of doing what you want or need to do. Only I can find my confidence. Have fun... Think positive. Run with the positive thoughts.

Article 4
Believe I am the The Great Catch. I am the a Prince. I don't have time to give women attention. They must earn it. I'm kind, enthusiastic, and smiling but my time is precious. Girls compete over me. She must justify herself to me. I reveal myself gradually as a reward to her. A prince walks away when disrespected. Regardless of how much of this is true, if I believe it, it becomes true. I dress well because I care about myself. Girls are already attracted to me so I might as well have fun. I set the rules, I'm the prize. I don't walk on eggshells - if I make a mistake I learn from it. I speak strongly and I take charge. Success is achieved first through the mind, then through the world

Article 5
EYE CONTACT IS ESSENTIAL. Hold it and give a sincere smile.

Article 6
One technique for eye contact is to look at her hair and move your eyes to hers when she looks at you. Then you can say "I like your hairstyle."

Article 7
Do something different than other guys. Like get a really nice watch or something. I have a friendship bracelet... though I suppose that's not as good as a $300 watch. I'll seriously consider this one. Screw rejection, just move on to the next one.

I listened to the music... Now the important step is to follow through with the exercises. When I first tried these a long time ago, they were really challenging. Now that I've gotten laid, I have a lot more confidence now. These shouldn't be too hard.



What I want to improve upon about today:
I didn't have time to do the exercises but I'll have time tomorrow and this weekend to knock em out.

A1: 0..............TOTAL: 0
A2: 0..............TOTAL: 0
A3: 0..............TOTAL: 0
C1: 0..............TOTAL: 0
C2: 0..............TOTAL: 0
C3: 0..............TOTAL: 0
S1: 0..............TOTAL: 0
S2: 0..............TOTAL: 0
S3: 0..............TOTAL: 0

 

[greenlake]

"Within the last 2 weeks, I realised a deep and dark fear of regressing back into depression. I realised that I don't push myself too hard for fear of losing control and not being able to function at school and work. This is basically what the climax of my depression was like."
heh, that's how i felt for the last 2 weeks. but my problems was mainly acne. but, i know i will succeed and i know u will too.
hmmm...reading those summarize article really bring back the main concepts that i had forgotten.
and, what does FB and NLP stand for?

 

[Heyjose25points]

:*( Driveon, I also was diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder. The first time I had a panick attack, as a result of feeling that I had no self-worth after I thought 1 person ignored me. :-[. The second time i got a panic attack, was a result of 3 blow outs the next year, i didn't even know who i was anymore. Had another panic attack, and was confirmed to have the disorder. I thought medicine would help, but it was pure psychological. Took 3 weeks to reduce that son of a bitvh and be back to normal. Im proud of you dude, the only way to defeat depression is to fight it, feeling it head on and getting through.

You'll succeed dude, but only if we risk ourselves.

Sup Greenlake, FB stands for **** buddy and NLP stands for Neuro-Linguistic programming. They'll be second nature ;-)

Good Luck on the bootcamp guys, I almost completed week 3 but am doing it over again...was 3 conversations away too. :-(.

 

[driveon]

Week: 1 Day: 2

What I liked about today: Okay, the first exercise for week 1 is to go out and make eye contact with people for an hour. I went to the mall and accomplished this mission. However, it wasn't what I expected. I expected people to make good eye contact with me but that just didn't happen. For 45 minutes I would only get glimpses from everyone and most of the cute HS girls who are so abundant at the mall weren't even giving me that.

I tried smiling and maintaining a warm expression. I tried a neutral expression and then smiling. I tried to walk like an alpha male, I tried walking relaxed. I thought maybe I wasn't being aggressive enough and I did get a smile after locking onto an older woman and saying hi after her second glance at me. However, I only tried this once.... I tried walking around with a neutral look and girls held eye contact longer but I found myself smiling slightly whenever meeting eyes for more than a second with a cute chick and then they'd look away.

After an hour, I finally felt somewhat warmed up socially speaking. I found that the problem was probably that I was in a mall and everyone was looking at all the useless crap on the shelves instead of looking at people like I was. I was focusing all my attention on people and in that environment, they were not used to that. I started looking around more instead of holding my gaze straight ahead and people seemed more open.

I said "Hi" 6 times besides my conversations with 2 girls I already knew. I felt ignored for most of the evening probably because i was too focused on staring into people's eyes insteading of being more natural about it.

What I want to improve upon about today:

I said hi to one chick whose in one of my classes and I ran into a girl I knew when I was younger... She offered for me to hang with her but I didn't feel like it because she blew me off a long time ago. Looking back, I would have sat with her and chilled because I was done with my exercise (I was walking to my car) and I was already warmed up after walking back and forth in the mall for an hour. I told her I'd email her and part of me doesn't want to but I suppose I will just for the practice.

I also walked by some asian girls who were obviously tourists and I had an easy opportunity to make fun of them about it but I passed it off cause I figured it wasn't part of the exercise. Looking back, I would have done it for ****s and giggles.

Tomorrow I have to hit the zoo to do research for an essay. It should make a perfect opportunity to say Hi and get closer to my week's goal of 50. I'll probably hit the pavement in SF after the zoo and do my second part of the exercise (I need to spend another hour just focusing on eye contact). I'll try to be more natural but then I bet I can establish eye contact easier on a sidewalk than at the mall cause there's not as much to look at... or maybe I'm wrong... if focusing on people doesn't work, I know I can look around a bit and then bring my eyes up to people... that seemed to work today. I'm not going to count saying hi as an approach this week because I really have no intention YET of starting a conversation.

Exercise 1: 1/2 complete
Exercise 2: 6/50 complete

A1: 0..............TOTAL: 0
A2: 0..............TOTAL: 0
A3: 0..............TOTAL: 0
C1: 0..............TOTAL: 0
C2: 0..............TOTAL: 0
C3: 0..............TOTAL: 0
S1: 0..............TOTAL: 0
S2: 0..............TOTAL: 0
S3: 0..............TOTAL: 0

 

[cyp6]

yes. sounds good to me. keep it uup. dont quit.. YOU CAN DO IT

 

[driveon]

Week: 1 Day: 3

What I liked about today:
I went to the zoo and then I hit Geary Ave in SF. I spent the first half-hour of the exercise, just trying to meet eyes with people. Once again, people just did not seem interested in making eyes. Women walking with men (couples) held eye contact longer than any others. It's like these women only have the confidence to meet eyes with a guy if they already have one by their side. I plugged on through though and I said Hi 12 times. Towards the end of the exercise I felt warmed up and I wanted to say hi twice as many times as yesterday so I ended up just being very aggressive. A few times I just said hi to people walking up who weren't even looking at me. They ignored me and it was kind of funny. One guy gave me a look like I was from outer-****ing space just for saying hi.

After that, I went to a classical music concert and said hi probably 5 or so times but I'm only counting 2 because that's all I can remember for sure. One girl came up and started talking to me and the usher(friend of mine) and started talking about being unsure where to sit. I kind of knew she was trying to open us but I let it go by being kinda shy. nonetheless it was cool to get the attention.

I may get my friend into PUA if he wants. I could use someone to talk to about PUA in person.

What I want to improve upon about today:

I talked to a woman who seemed kinda weird. She tried to get me to carry a small filing cabinet she was dragging up the street by offering to buy me a beer. She wasn't bad looking but there was something about her I didn't really trust (i kept waiting for her to say something to prove she was a druggy). If I could go back, I might have talked with her more. I would have also bantered with the girl from the concert....



Exercise 1: Complete
Exercise 2: 20/50 complete



A1: 0..............TOTAL: 0
A2: 0..............TOTAL: 0
A3: 0..............TOTAL: 0
C1: 0..............TOTAL: 0
C2: 0..............TOTAL: 0
C3: 0..............TOTAL: 0
S1: 0..............TOTAL: 0
S2: 0..............TOTAL: 0
S3: 0..............TOTAL: 0

 

[driveon]

Week: 1 Day: 4

What I liked about today: Not much to add today. I went to talk with a friend about PUA and he's hesitant to do it because he's never been exposed to this stuff before. I ushered for a local classical concert and I've never said "good night" to say many strangers before. I'm not counting anything at the concert towards my exercises simply because I want to challenge myself to say hi to strangers throughout the rest of this week. I did get one hi in while I rode my bike this morning.

What I want to improve upon about today: There was a 4 set of french girls in the parking lot after the concert and I could have at least said hi but I didn't. Its not my goal this week though, so it doesn't bother me. I also approached a girl I knew from one of my classes but I hesitated for like 5 minutes and it made me feel miserable to not do it and just sizzle in fear. I would have rather just gone for it right away.

Exercise 1: Complete
Exercise 2: 21/50 complete

A1: 0..............TOTAL: 0
A2: 0..............TOTAL: 0
A3: 0..............TOTAL: 0
C1: 0..............TOTAL: 0
C2: 0..............TOTAL: 0
C3: 0..............TOTAL: 0
S1: 0..............TOTAL: 0
S2: 0..............TOTAL: 0
S3: 0..............TOTAL: 0

 

[driveon]

Week: 1 Day: 5

What I liked about today: I'm making eye contact with people a lot more since doing those exerises. I'm only masturbating once a week in order to gain back my sex drive and I feel I have more energy to do stuff.

An older foreign HB approached me on campus and asked me where the cafeteria was and I acted pretty alpha. That was cool.

What I want to improve upon about today:

Sexual frustration depletes my focus after 3 days of no masturbation.

I'm practicing meditation to counter that loss of focus. I haven’t been consistently doing it lately and I want to change that starting now.

I seem to fear expressing my sex drive. I don't seem to know where to draw the line between being desperate and completely hiding my sexual desire. I suppose the only way to really get a good feel for this is to make mistakes in the field.


"He moves about without hesitation or shyness and he learns from experiences instead of avoiding mistakes."

"He commands respect."

I want to work on these two things. I hesitate too much and act shyly. The opposite is doing what I feel is right and doing it with conviction. Finding the middle grond between commanding respect vs. acting like an ******* confuses me.

Exercise 1: Complete
Exercise 2: 21/50 complete

A1: 0..............TOTAL: 0
A2: 0..............TOTAL: 0
A3: 0..............TOTAL: 0
C1: 0..............TOTAL: 0
C2: 0..............TOTAL: 0
C3: 0..............TOTAL: 0
S1: 0..............TOTAL: 0
S2: 0..............TOTAL: 0
S3: 0..............TOTAL: 0

 

[Heyjose25points]

Dude, its great how ur sharing ur experiences everyday even during those days u have a hard time completing the goal. This is more than just a mission, its here to change our lives. You got 2 days left, you can get those 29 his. And even if you don't, move on to week 2 anyway...as doing the mission is what counts. Plus, ur describing ur emotional state...which we can learn alot from.

 

[driveon]

Week: 1 Day: 6

What I liked about today:

I went through an NLP exercise that's supposed to aid in making changes. There's another exercise for changing beliefs but I forget where I found it. I said hi a couple of times but I'm gonna need to hit the streets and make up the rest tomorrow: day 7.

1. What do I want? Make sure you state your answer in positives (remember, this isn't about what you don't want), and that what you're striving for is under your control.
2. How? What or Who? Where? When? With Whom? How much? How long? As you define your goal, think in specifics, not generalities.
3. How will I know when I achieve my outcome? What will I be doing, thinking, feeling? Be conscious of any evidence of success. Create a yardstick by which to measure your progress.
4. How will my goal affect my entire life? Family and relationships? Social life? Work? Health? Spiritual concerns? What are the advantages and disadvantages of achieving my goal? Consider that your goal must be ecological for the entire fabric of your life.
5. What contacts or qualities do I have that would help me achieve my goal? Label resources that you already have or could get that would be specifically helpful to you.
6. Where am I now along the path to achieving my goal? Define how close or far you are to your goal and determine the specific next steps you must take to reach it.

1. I want to be social
2. Say hi to strangers, talk to strangers, become friends with strangers, open up to friends and people, really connect and have a good time, any time, for the rest of my lfie
3. I’ll know I’ve achieved my outcome when ill be saying hi to everyone who makes eyes with me, and ill be thinking positively about people (trusting them) I’ll be feeling really REALLY good,
4. This goal will take me out of my comfort zone, and make me experience new things, my family and relationships will change for the worse probably before becoming better, the disadvantage of being social is exposure to people who are rude and insensitive. The positive is I learn to deal with these types of people in a positive way and
5. contacts? Possibly 3 people.
6. ive made big progress but theres still a nice path ahead of me.


What I want to improve upon about today:

I had lots of opportunities to say hi to strangers and I let them slide. I think it's because I never ran the thought through my head "hey remember your commitment to getting in 50 hi's this week? Lets get some in today..." I would have done better if I committed to getting 10 or something. Regardless, I'm determined to get 27 in tomorrow. I'll probably hit san rafael and just walk down the street saying hi to every person who passes and takes even a glimpse at me.

I'm so goddamn horny when I don't masturbate. I can mask it so I don't appear desperate though. My question is how do I not feel desperate when I'm not getting sex and not masturbating?

Exercise 1: Complete
Exercise 2: 23/50 complete

A1: 0..............TOTAL: 0
A2: 0..............TOTAL: 0
A3: 0..............TOTAL: 0
C1: 0..............TOTAL: 0
C2: 0..............TOTAL: 0
C3: 0..............TOTAL: 0
S1: 0..............TOTAL: 0
S2: 0..............TOTAL: 0
S3: 0..............TOTAL: 0

 

[Heyjose25points]

Easy...when u desperate is when u jack off. When ur lasting without jacking off, ur not desperate. Ur dealing with it. Being horny helps, as it changes the way you look and talk to a woman. IMHO. when I got horny talking to an attractive woman one time, I could feel that the way I looked at her in the eyes was different than usual...and she didn't respond negatively about it either....but not sure how positive tho.

I thought the same, why be aroused? Aren't u appearing as a sleeze? But at the same time, how would we expect for us to get more balls if we're not at our sexual state..the state that triggers her own sexual state?

U got this. U can finish it out bruh!

 

[driveon]

Week: 1 Day: 7

What I liked about today: I did it. I said Hi to strangers 27 times today which makes a total of 50 for this week. I learned suttle things to get eye contact with people. Like looking at stuff across the street until about 10 ft away and then slowly bringing my eyes to the person walking up to me. Also, walking towards the other person like your going to walk into them gets them looking and I give them a warm smile and a Hi to assure them I'm not robbing them.



What I want to improve upon about today:
I had a few opportunities to say hi to some HBs and I didn't do it cause I was scared. I think the main reason for this is that I don't feel I have a good amount of banter and ****y/funny to back a conversation with an HB so I avoid it by not saying anything to them.

The women in San Rafael are very different from the rich women in Mill Valley. The MV ones are hotter and more confident. They actually look me in the eyes and smile or just try to stare me down. It's great practice. I made eye contact with a woman sitting down as I got out of my car. We held it for like 3 seconds before I smiled and she looked away. I think she wanted me to just banter her with a straight face to prove I was man enough for her.

Next week is going to be challenging but I'm determined to handle my mental blocks as quickly as possible so that I can beat it on the first try. What this all comes down to is being creative and putting in a lot of effort.

BTW I appreciate replies, that's the reason I'm writing this on a forum instead of in a word document.

Exercise 1: Complete
Exercise 2: Complete

A1: 0..............TOTAL: 0
A2: 0..............TOTAL: 0
A3: 0..............TOTAL: 0
C1: 0..............TOTAL: 0
C2: 0..............TOTAL: 0
C3: 0..............TOTAL: 0
S1: 0..............TOTAL: 0
S2: 0..............TOTAL: 0
S3: 0..............TOTAL: 0

 

[Heyjose25points]

yea, its the strangest thing. The girls will give u eye contact for a few seconds, then when u smile...some will look away and others will smile, don't get it with the ones who don't..is it that they loose interest after you smile or what?

Aint stressin...just a thought.

 

[Mayfly]

why do you masturbate anyway? I gave it up a while ago when I found it did nothing for me. Plus girls love getting blown away by the built up stress that not doing it induces.

 

[driveon]

Week: 2 Day: 2

What I liked about today:

Okay I read over my summary of last week's articles, now I'm going to read over this week's articles and take notes.

Article 1
Talk about her or relate stuff to her.

Article 2
Have a real interest in the person in front of you. Listen to what she says, she will you give you new topics to talk about. Pick up the new topic and lead the conversation. Ask daring and silly questions like "how would you feel if you were talking to me in your underwear right now." Other topics are clothes, work, hobbies, likes and dislikes, kissing, sex, food, future, dreams, poast, family, relationships. Have fun, see yourself as a talkshow host. Let her talk.

Article 3
"Hi"
Compliment clothes or something she's wearing.
"What's your name"
"'name,' I'm collin"
Shake hands with palm facing up a bit instead of verticle

Article 4
Ask her where she's from. Play off of that.

Article 5
A) “So what brought you down here?”
B) “So what keeps you down here?”

Whatever she answers is important to her but don't ask questions about it; change the subject to 1-4

1) Work
2) College
3) Family
4) Friends

Article 6
1. “Which one?” -
2. “Where’s it at?” -
3. “How long have you been working there?” -

1. “Which Denny’s?”
2. “Where’s <name of place> at?”
3. “How long have you been a waitress at <name of place>?”

Use what she says in your question.

Say stuff like "I like going to dennys there. I've never been to that dennys. ETC."

Relate to her through experiences.

Article 7
Eye contact, and when she gets rolling give her a "yeah" or a nod to show your listening.

Article 8
Listen to stand up comedy, hang with funny people. Listen to comedy in the morning. Dont try too hard.

Okay the exercise is to start conversations with 10 strangers for 2-10 minutes. I don't want to wait til the last minute on this. I want to get 5 in tomorrow.

What I want to improve upon about today:

I had a lot of stuff to do today and I got distracted a lot. I've been trying not to masturbate but damn sometimes it just frustrates me so bad. I'll be trying to work on my homework and all I can think about is *****. Not masturbating for a few days is cool but by the time day 3 comes along, I just start losing all my focus. Meditation hasn't helped. The emotion just becomes too strong. Maybe that's all excuses but I haven't found a way to control this yet and I'm open to suggestions.

A1: 0..............TOTAL: 0
A2: 0..............TOTAL: 0
A3: 0..............TOTAL: 0
C1: 0..............TOTAL: 0
C2: 0..............TOTAL: 0
C3: 0..............TOTAL: 0
S1: 0..............TOTAL: 0
S2: 0..............TOTAL: 0
S3: 0..............TOTAL: 0

 

[driveon]

Week: 2 Day: 3

What I liked about today:
Last night was crazy. I went over to this girls house while her boyfriend was away. I had met her in one of my classes and i knew she was into me so i asked her to show me this movie she was talking about. I showed up and she told me her boyfriend would be gone for 2 hours.

What I want to improve upon about today:
This was an easy opportunity to get laid but it went hilariously wrong. I don't smoke pot... i had only done it once before and it was a small ass pipe. shes high 24/7 and so she offered some of this **** to me. I tried to get her to sit next to me so I could get some kino going and she started giving some ASD about her boyfriend not appreciating that. I knew she wanted to fck me but she wanted me to be aggressive so it wouldn't be her fault. I couldn't muster the courage to be aggressive though because I had never fcked a girl who had a boyfriend before. So I decided that i should get high to break down my barriers and give her what she wanted (i think thats why she offered it).

I took a hit of this stuff and it had a HUGE effect on me to the point where i couldn't even put together more than 1 word sentences. I ended up throwing up all over her apartment and having her call my parents to come get me before her boyfriend showed up to possibly beat the **** out of me.

So what did I learn from this? I learned that I want to fully believe that women want sex with me and that I can give it to them without ASD or LMR ruining it. If I believed that, I would have just ****ed her instead of getting high and ****ing up a perfectly good opportunity to get some ***** finally.

Before goign to her house i had a few opportunities to start conversations with strangers but I didn't do it. I noticed that i have to tell myself that im social and that its okay to be social in order to even get myself out in the field. It's like im breaking down mental blocks and building new beliefs that will let me carry out the exercises in the DJBC and i have to do this or i'll just avoid the whole damn thing.

i feel I'm moving forward but after last night, im trying to just take it easy today. I will complete this week's exercise no matter what though.

A1: 0..............TOTAL: 0
A2: 0..............TOTAL: 0
A3: 0..............TOTAL: 0
C1: 0..............TOTAL: 0
C2: 0..............TOTAL: 0
C3: 0..............TOTAL: 0
S1: 0..............TOTAL: 0
S2: 0..............TOTAL: 0
S3: 0..............TOTAL: 0

 

[yrock181]

hey driveon what bc are u doing?

 

[driveon]

Week:2 Day: 5

I found this BC in the bible.



What I liked about today: I approached 3 sales girls at the mall and talked about Mavado watches. My watch just broke but those Mavados cost like $500, I thought I could get one for $300 blah. That leaves 8 conversations left for this week.

What I want to improve upon about today:
This is a really challenging part of BC. It seems my natural frame is to walk around all stern and quiet so I feel safe or something. It's like I'm trying to protect my ego. What I want is to be able to walk around and just talk and have fun with people like it's nothing. Maybe that's the key. I feel like if I don't act reserved and polite in some places that people will get pissed at me or something. Maybe this stems from crap I learned in classrooms haha. So the key is to feel good, first and foremost, then to talk with people freely because as long as i dont hurt their feelings, nothing bad is going to happen.

Tomorrow I'm going to wing with my brother to get some more conversations in.


A1: 3..............TOTAL: 3
A2: 0..............TOTAL: 0
A3: 0..............TOTAL: 0
C1: 0..............TOTAL: 0
C2: 0..............TOTAL: 0
C3: 0..............TOTAL: 0
S1: 0..............TOTAL: 0
S2: 0..............TOTAL: 0
S3: 0..............TOTAL: 0

 

[driveon]

Week:2 Day: 6

What I liked about today: I went out with my brother and approached 2 strangers. Good stuff. One didn't want to talk but the other did so whatever. Also this morning, I ran into an older guy who started talking about my car so I got 2 in for today.

What I want to improve upon about today:
I said I was going to look up some info on improvisation and I didn't. Tomorrow first thing...

Exercise: 5/10 complete

A1: 0..............TOTAL: 3
A2: 0..............TOTAL: 0
A3: 0..............TOTAL: 0
C1: 0..............TOTAL: 0
C2: 0..............TOTAL: 0
C3: 0..............TOTAL: 0
S1: 0..............TOTAL: 0
S2: 0..............TOTAL: 0
S3: 0..............TOTAL: 0