Drive Thru ATM Joke

[Lost In Translation]

Barclays Bank is very pleased to inform you that we are installing new

Drive-thru" cash point machines where our customers will be able to
withdraw


cash without leaving their vehicles. To enable our customers to make
full

use of these new facilities, we have conducted intensive behavioural

studies to come up with appropriate procedures for their use. Please
read

the procedures that apply to you and remember them



PROCEDURES FOR OUR MALE CUSTOMERS:



1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Wind down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Wind up window.

7. Drive off.



PROCEDURES FOR OUR FEMALE CUSTOMERS:



1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse back the required distance to align car window with cash
machine.

3. Re-start the stalled engine.

4. Wind down the window.

5. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate
card.

6. Turn the radio down.

7. Attempt to insert card into machine.

8. Open car door to allow easier access to cash machine due to its
excessive distance from the car.

9. Insert card.

10. After "Invalid Card " is displayed - Remove the afore mentioned
"Marks & Spencers" Charge card and insert correct Cash Point card

11. Remove Cash Point Card

12. Re-insert Cash Point card the right way up.

13. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the
inside
back page.

14. Enter PIN.

15. Press "Cancel" and re-enter correct PIN.

16. Enter amount of cash required.

17. Check make-up in rear view mirror.

18. Retrieve cash and receipt.

19. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.

20. Place receipt in back of cheque book.

21. Re-check make-up.

22. Drive forward 2 meters.

23. Reverse back to cash machine.

24. Retrieve card.

25. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the
slot
provided.

26. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

27. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

28. Release hand brake.

 

[the_afc]

nice

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

I like it!

 

[Docs]

Just to think that this stunning discovery of technology has been available in most locations in Canada 8 years ago.....

 

[familyguyfan]

Originally posted by Docs
Just to think that this stunning discovery of technology has been available in most locations in Canada 8 years ago.....

It's a joke. Don't worry, drive-thru ATMs have been around forever everywhere.

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

Originally posted by familyguyfan
It's a joke. Don't worry, drive-thru ATMs have been around forever everywhere.

really? and here we are in the UK having to walk all the way from the car park to the ATM!!!!

 

[King of You]

a car park ahahha. its called a parking lot!

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

Originally posted by King of You
a car park ahahha. its called a parking lot!

Not in the UK its not! and why do you call the pavement, the sidewalk? You have cellular phones instead of mobile phones and faucets instead of taps!

 

[familyguyfan]

Originally posted by check_mate_kid_uk
Not in the UK its not! and why do you call the pavement, the sidewalk? You have cellular phones instead of mobile phones and faucets instead of taps!

No, ours are called mobile phones as well. People call them cell phones anyways because they used to be made with cellular technology. Now they aren't so they're technically called mobile phones, but people still call them cell phones anyways.

 

[quest]

Originally posted by check_mate_kid_uk
Not in the UK its not! and why do you call the pavement, the sidewalk? You have cellular phones instead of mobile phones and faucets instead of taps!

Australia we got to walk from the car park to the ATM aswell.. (but we're not all obese )

We have Footpath (pavement/sidewalk), mobile phones, taps, and we go to the toilet NOT the bathroom.

EDIT: unlike people from the UK though, we do actually go to the bathroom aswell as the toilet.

 

[Smooth Player 056]

Funny Stuff man

 

[the_afc]

here is onother one

A big ship sank and the only survivors were 3 blondes! They end up on a small island which was not very far from coast, as in the night they could see the lights of the town.
But they didn’t know how to swim to get there.
All of a sudden, one blonde found a magic lamp and a jinee appeared “in a blinding flash of light”!
The jinee said that he could make three wishes come true, so the first blonde wished:
-I want to be smart enough to get to the town.
The jinee transformed her to redhead and she swam across. The second one wished:
-I want to be even smarter to get to the town more easily!
The jinee transformed her to brunette and she get in the small boat on the shore of the island and she get across. The third wished:
-I want to even smarter to get to the town more easily!
The jinee transformed her to man and she get across using the bridge!!!


the_afc

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

Originally posted by quest
Australia we got to walk from the car park to the ATM aswell.. (but we're not all obese )

We have Footpath (pavement/sidewalk), mobile phones, taps, and we go to the toilet NOT the bathroom.

EDIT: unlike people from the UK though, we do actually go to the bathroom aswell as the toilet.

we also have tow paths also called foot paths by some which is basicly like a trail kind of thing

i also say toilet not bathroom although some people say bathroom now.

 

[EverywhereMan]

i also say toilet not bathroom although some people say bathroom now.

yeah, I've started accidentally talking about "gas" instead of "petrol" and my friends told me I was Americanized.

 

[OzyBoy]

Drive through atm - that is just laziness to the extreme. If i want money - i just drive down the road to the petrol station, get out of the car and go inside and get it out of the atm, besides there are no drive through atms around that i know of.

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

Originally posted by OzyBoy
Drive through atm - that is just laziness to the extreme. If i want money - i just drive down the road to the petrol station, get out of the car and go inside and get it out of the atm, besides there are no drive through atms around that i know of.

well thats still lazy, when i need money i dont go crying to the ATM aobut it i go ask the cashier at the bank, They tell me my account is empty, I find when i Just demand some money from them they tend to give me it anyway, but some one always tips of the police and those greedy bugers are always after me, i tihnk they are trying to rob me or somthing, cos htye kept shouting we know you have the money!

 

[OzyBoy]

Originally posted by check_mate_kid_uk
well thats still lazy, when i need money i dont go crying to the ATM aobut it i go ask the cashier at the bank, They tell me my account is empty, I find when i Just demand some money from them they tend to give me it anyway, but some one always tips of the police and those greedy bugers are always after me, i tihnk they are trying to rob me or somthing, cos htye kept shouting we know you have the money!

well i can't make it to the bank because i work full time during the week and the banks are not open in weekends and i am not wasting my whole lunch break going down the road to the bank so i dont have many other options. If your acount is always empty maybe you should get a job and use your own money and maybe the cops won't always be after you.

 

[OzyBoy]

Originally posted by quest
Australia we got to walk from the car park to the ATM aswell.. (but we're not all obese )

We have Footpath (pavement/sidewalk), mobile phones, taps, and we go to the toilet NOT the bathroom.

EDIT: unlike people from the UK though, we do actually go to the bathroom aswell as the toilet.

I think something like 60% of australians are overweight. I'm not fortunately however. Maybe not obese but still overweight.