"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Drinking A Tonne P1ssing None

dj ben2

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im drinkin at least 2.5 litres of water a day i cant get enuff of the stuff im eating lots of protein but im not pissing nearly as much as im drinking + im gaining weight im guessing its water retention but why exactly does water retention occur?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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MrS

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Protein uses up a lot of the water in your kidneylivers.
 

donjuanjovi

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Keep in mind that you lose a lot of water through sweating and breathing.
 

Throttle

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any other water retention is related to your salt balance (sodium, potassium, etc.) but that would be a sort of bloating, so if you don't feel bloated, it's probably one of the above answers.
 
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