You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
"Freakishness" to you is mundane to others. Everyone is playing a role by order of degrees on any given day and in any given circumstance. Where I work I'm free to wear jeans and a t-shirt if I so desire, but I opt to dress much sharper than that, why? Because it commands a certain respect, even if it's not necessarily legitimate. When I'm at a club, say, doing a new product launch, my persona and dress changes to match the environment.Boilermaker said:I don't know Rollo, does "A" look really imply "any" look?
Some of these men look so bizarre that it's hard to imagine them conforming to an interesting character sought by a group of women.
Freakishness itself cannot be a strong pivot in attracting women, in my opinion.
False Premises Hate.Slickster said:There are weirdos dressed like idiots all over the place.
Peacocks, buffoons, whatever. Does it really concern you?
Would you really care to attract the same type of women that these guys do?
Probably not so carry on nothing to see here.
samspade said:I've lost count of the women who've told me their bf/husband/guy they're sleeping with was "totally not my type, but...
I dunno...military guys love coming to bars and clubs dressed in their uniforms. But they too have significant social proof and usually carry a "I don't give a f**k - I kill people for a living" attitude with them. When you're military, you EARN the uniform. It's who they are.zekko said:As I understand it, he was a wannabe magician.
If a guy wants to be an astronaut, does he wear his spacesuit into the club?
I dunno...like I said, they look like entourage. They don't look like they're carrying it as well.Now what are the other two dressed as?
It's not the garb she's impressed with. It's that he actually had the balls to wear it and look her in the eye.Never said it was terrible. I just said that it was hard to imagine a girl being impressed with that type of garb unless she was pretty immature.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Yeah, Mystery very much looks like the leader there. For one thing, he's so much taller, he looks like the stilt man from the circus. The other two come off looking like subordinates (that would make them betas, yes?) that got some very bad fashion advice. But I guess they had their success with women also.Squirrels said:they look like entourage. They don't look like they're carrying it as well.
Ain't this the d@mn truth. No telling how many different experiences in my life that I've missed out on, because of attitudes like this, whether it's rationalization in my own mind or from others around me.Rollo Tomassi said:False Premises Hate.
Hater: Yeah, sure, game works well for picking up low self-esteem bar skanks.
A great deal of hate is fueled by false premises. Concocting convenient scenarios, imagining the worst of your enemies, and reinterpreting their successes are a salve for the burned ego. Newsflash: your thin-skinned indignation is not their moral crisis.
Please direct your insults elsewhere. It seems that YOU are concocting a convenient scenario here and using me to get your point across.Rollo Tomassi said:False Premises Hate.
Hater: Yeah, sure, game works well for picking up low self-esteem bar skanks.
A great deal of hate is fueled by false premises. Concocting convenient scenarios, imagining the worst of your enemies, and reinterpreting their successes are a salve for the burned ego. Newsflash: your thin-skinned indignation is not their moral crisis.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Wow! I was wondering how far I'd have to read into this thread before someone stated the obvious. And Atom, you're right. "Girls" are intrigued by things that "women" understand (and avoid as [if] it were AIDS).Atom Smasher said:One of the main reasons The Cat in the Hat gets away with it is because he is super-tall.
Girls tend to be intrigued by that, and it almost gives him special "rights" (in their minds) to dress up like a d-bag.