"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Double Date Blind Date

L

lesmurphy

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Next Friday my buddies girlfriend arranged to have a double date with this girl she works with and me. They decided that they want to go to the Zoo where they have this big Christmas thing going on and it is sort of romantic, we actually went there last year with my buddy and our now ex girlfriends. Anyway, next Friday happens to be my birthday and since I don't have anything special planned I am actually excited to go one this blind/double date. All I know about the girls is that she is blonde, attractive and from Indiana.

I am pretty confident with the situation and really I am not too worried about the date, but I don't want to come off as a total loser either by going on a blind date on my birthday.

Any advice for blind dates, or excuses for being so available on my birthday?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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R

Rhoto

Master Don Juan
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Leave the Zoo with her. Don't let her in on your Birthday just yet.
 
S

saber

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imho a blind date on your bday is dlv. My advice is to lie and say its not your bday or that you had a party/whatever a few days ago ect.
 
M

Mayfly

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saber said:
imho a blind date on your bday is dlv. My advice is to lie and say its not your bday or that you had a party/whatever a few days ago ect.
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A lie would bring your value down even further, especially if the girl finds out. I see no problem with it. Don't bring it up unless she does.
 
E

Effington

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saber said:
imho a blind date on your bday is dlv. My advice is to lie and say its not your bday or that you had a party/whatever a few days ago ect.
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I see the logic in your thought, but why is it necessary to have a party or get together (or any celebration, really) for your birthday? Maybe for pinnacle ones, like 21, I can see how you want to get your buddies out drinking, but other than that, it's just another year. I see so many people doing a lot of dumb things because "it's their birthday". It happens every year, guys!

I don't recommend lying, but you also don't need to bring it up, it's not really that important.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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lesmurphy

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Thanks for your advice on dealing with the bday, I guess I won't bring it up, any advice on the Blind Date, should I treat it differently than a normal date?
 
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