Don't want to waste your time, so I'll be quick...

[Nighthawk]

If you manage to approach you don't know what to say, right? So even if a miracle happens and she approaches you and says 'Hi Mr Confidence, what's up?' where are you going to go?

Let's practice. Give me some possible responses.

 

[Rock_Solid]

Hey bud, check out my new thread on social proof, maybe it could help you
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=119946

Anyway listen to superchill and Quicksilver, they seem to know what there talking about and are giving you good advice. You have to leave all expectations behind, all previous experiences behind, and start off new. Listen to superchill, head out to the mall and practice, hell even practice on Ugg's if you want to, not only will they be more than happy to talk to you but it builds your confidence when your appreciated like that.

And hey, if you actually DO need your lines already written out for you, hit up the Mystery Method site, theres TONS of canned material waiting for your use.

 

[MrConfidence]

If you manage to approach you don't know what to say, right? So even if a miracle happens and she approaches you and says 'Hi Mr Confidence, what's up?' where are you going to go?

Let's practice. Give me some possible responses.

In the extremely rare case a girl approaches me, she most likely has something she wants to talk to about already, so that's different.
Obviously I'm going to say Hi, and figure out what the girl wants.

Listen to superchill, head out to the mall and practice, hell even practice on Ugg's if you want to, not only will they be more than happy to talk to you but it builds your confidence when your appreciated like that.

I'm not doubting you guys advice. hell mall rpobably is a good place, but I don't have a car, and I'm not going to be getting one any time soon. Is there no way I can just approach at school?

 

[MrConfidence]

Yes, but I WANT to approach at school. I can make all the excuses in the world, fact is, I don't want to approach outside of school. I don't see why I can't just approach at school. You're making it seem like I'm screwed from approaching if I don't do it outside school.

 

[Quiksilver]

You can approach in school, there's no problem with that.

The only issue is...girls gossip. If you ask out one girl, it spreads like wildfire.

Plus you have to see those people over and over again. It's akin to pissing in your own pool. You can do it if you want, but the way I roll is getting to know girls outside of school, that way if things don't go well(some of the time), it doesn't matter because you always have some social group to fall back on at school. The way I see it is, the less attachement you have to the outcome, the better. In school, I have more attachement to the outcome of social settings, because I have to see those people day in, day out. whereas outside of school, I never have to see those people again, so its like "fvck it" if it doesnt go well.

If you want to approach in school, your just going to have to man up and start flirting with the girl. Just start talking, but don't ask the dumb "how was ur day?" questions...Girls can see right through that. Start telling her things, getting her opinion on stuff, ask her a question and delve a little deeper...Here's an example since you're pretty clueless:

Me: [smile]"Heyy Sarah, whats up?"

girl: "Hey Mike, not much... you?"

Me: "how was the weekend, party hardy?" [smile/wink]

girl: [laugh]"haha, no...went shopping with my sister instead"

Me: [interested] "Oh ya? Where'd you go shoppin?"

girl: [talking about herself now, the goal] "<name of mall>, do u kno the place?"

Me: [still interested, slightly ****y]"cool. let me guess, you bought shoes?" [smile]

girl: [smile] "naw, I bought a couple of shirts instead"

Me: [smile, ****y]" good choice, you've been wearing the same stuff practically every day" [wink]

girl: depending on her reaction, will show her interest toward you. After that, break the convo off and leave. You accomplished what you set out to do, which was guage interest. No need to botch the show by staying longer.

-----------

See how easy it was? Ask her an open question, she gives you an answer, you act interested and probe abit deeper with the intent of discovering her interest. Always have an agenda for the conversation, or else when it gets static, you won't know what to say.

you'll notice when she asked me something, I ignored her and kept the topic on her. I controlled the conversation, and kept it on my terms. Her questions were meaningless and answering them would have put the ball back in her court. Ignore the questions, talk about her and ask her stuff. It shows confidence and aloofness. Get it?

For instance, when I talk to a girl, before I approach, the thoughts that are going through my mind are:

1) how interested is she?
2) how INTERESTING is she?
3) is she a fun girl?
4) how will she react if i neg her?

Find these things out and TEST her. Qualify her. Make her meet your standards. If she isn't a fun girl(she does boring **** on weekends), next her. If she takes negs personally and reacts sourly, she has no sense of humor or playfulness, NEXT HER. Is she interesting? Can she keep a conversation going? If not, next her. Does she even stop to talk to me, or does she not give me time(walks away, looks away, closed body language), if she does not, then she is not interested. NEXT HER.

See man? It's very simple stuff. Just develop a criteria like the 1-4 I just posted, and just start talking to random girls. Once they pass your tests, then flirt abit. Comment on what she's wearing one day, and tell her the shoes she wore yesterday were ugly as fvck. Bet you she'll never wear those shoes again If she's still responsive/playful, then you'll know when the time is right, and you'll ask her out.

Obviously going up to a girl with the intent of asking her out right there is retarded, I know what you mean. So go up to her and TEST HER. She already passed your physical test, so now go see if the personality is there too.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

 

[MrConfidence]

like i said, you can still approach in school but if it's results you're after you're better off developing your social circle in school and working on your game outside of school. you seem to be very picky with girls for some reason despite your complete lack of success, and in order to get with these top notch babes you need to have social proof. you don't have many friends in school like you said and you are probably viewed as a loner. no need to argue against this as we both know that this is probably true. you're not going to get with hot girls in school with this little social proof unless you have mad game, which you don't (as we both know as well). the reason you won't really improve in school is because you're always going to get bad reactions due to your complete lack of social proof. and please don't argue against this and say i can't make these judgments about you because i'm just going to give up on you if you say that, because that will show that you're just completely unable to take advice and that you will never change. but despite your lack of social proof in school, if you go to the mall, dress fresh, and approach with confidence, none of this matters. you will actually get in some decent interactions and improve.

at school you only have classes (in which you said there are barely any targets you want to approach) and lunch period which is like 45 minutes to approach. at the mall you have as much time as you want (i usually sarge for hours), numerous targets to practice on and who you will never see again if you fail, as well as nothing to worry about from messing up (in school it will only hurt your rep if you are known as the nerd who tries to talk to every girl unsuccessfully. once again if you succeed then it will only help you but with your minimal game you probably won't until you get lots of practice. this will result in many failed attempts in the beginning and a bad rep for you). if you want to improve this badly you should be more open minded. i can tell you right now, you are not going to improve if you don't actually try outside sarging.

also why don't you actually try applying some of the techniques they teach in this forum? how can you have read all these conversation tips on this site and not changed at all since freshmen year like you said?

btw, 7:34? don't you have school right now?

Maybe I'll get a job during summer or something and sarge, mall simply isn't an option for me right now. And yeah, you're right about how I have few friends, but making friends ain't that easy at lunch. First of all, a lot of tables are full, second of all, it's just hard to make friends when everyone pretty much has all their friends set. I might as well be the new guy; I don't have that many friends.

Yes, but seeing as my first class, my vocational class has to do with computers, I have access to the internet.

 

[Quiksilver]

lol i think im on his ignore list

 

[MrConfidence]

You can approach in school, there's no problem with that.

The only issue is...girls gossip. If you ask out one girl, it spreads like wildfire.

Plus you have to see those people over and over again. It's akin to pissing in your own pool. You can do it if you want, but the way I roll is getting to know girls outside of school, that way if things don't go well(some of the time), it doesn't matter because you always have some social group to fall back on at school. The way I see it is, the less attachement you have to the outcome, the better. In school, I have more attachement to the outcome of social settings, because I have to see those people day in, day out. whereas outside of school, I never have to see those people again, so its like "fvck it" if it doesnt go well.

If you want to approach in school, your just going to have to man up and start flirting with the girl. Just start talking, but don't ask the dumb "how was ur day?" questions...Girls can see right through that. Start telling her things, getting her opinion on stuff, ask her a question and delve a little deeper...Here's an example since you're pretty clueless:

Me: [smile]"Heyy Sarah, whats up?"

girl: "Hey Mike, not much... you?"

Me: "how was the weekend, party hardy?" [smile/wink]

girl: [laugh]"haha, no...went shopping with my sister instead"

Me: [interested] "Oh ya? Where'd you go shoppin?"

girl: [talking about herself now, the goal] "<name of mall>, do u kno the place?"

Me: [still interested, slightly ****y]"cool. let me guess, you bought shoes?" [smile]

girl: [smile] "naw, I bought a couple of shirts instead"

Me: [smile, ****y]" good choice, you've been wearing the same stuff practically every day" [wink]

girl: depending on her reaction, will show her interest toward you. After that, break the convo off and leave. You accomplished what you set out to do, which was guage interest. No need to botch the show by staying longer.

-----------

See how easy it was? Ask her an open question, she gives you an answer, you act interested and probe abit deeper with the intent of discovering her interest. Always have an agenda for the conversation, or else when it gets static, you won't know what to say.

you'll notice when she asked me something, I ignored her and kept the topic on her. I controlled the conversation, and kept it on my terms. Her questions were meaningless and answering them would have put the ball back in her court. Ignore the questions, talk about her and ask her stuff. It shows confidence and aloofness. Get it?

For instance, when I talk to a girl, before I approach, the thoughts that are going through my mind are:

1) how interested is she?
2) how INTERESTING is she?
3) is she a fun girl?
4) how will she react if i neg her?

Find these things out and TEST her. Qualify her. Make her meet your standards. If she isn't a fun girl(she does boring **** on weekends), next her. If she takes negs personally and reacts sourly, she has no sense of humor or playfulness, NEXT HER. Is she interesting? Can she keep a conversation going? If not, next her. Does she even stop to talk to me, or does she not give me time(walks away, looks away, closed body language), if she does not, then she is not interested. NEXT HER.

See man? It's very simple stuff. Just develop a criteria like the 1-4 I just posted, and just start talking to random girls. Once they pass your tests, then flirt abit. Comment on what she's wearing one day, and tell her the shoes she wore yesterday were ugly as fvck. Bet you she'll never wear those shoes again If she's still responsive/playful, then you'll know when the time is right, and you'll ask her out.

Obviously going up to a girl with the intent of asking her out right there is retarded, I know what you mean. So go up to her and TEST HER. She already passed your physical test, so now go see if the personality is there too.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

Well, gossip isn't something I really care about and yeah, I get what you're saying. But I don't understand how "How was your day?" and "How was your weekend?" different, see it confuses me. To be honest, the whole thing I'd be able to thing of to talk about is the upcoming play, or I could ask them if they do track or what they're doing after school. I'm not good with conversational openers. Still probably going to be the same stuff tommorow, I don't know who to approach now. At lunch most girls are in groups anyway, and that makes crap even harder.

 

[Plec07]

Alright, I've been watching through your posts and I'm going to give you a few basic tips/explinations on what to do. (sorry if I repeat anyone who has already posted).

You keep saying you don't have a car, and that your set at approaches at school. First you need to ask yourself why, I'm truely interested at your reasons for this. Second, the mall isn't the only option for outside school. Girls are everywhere. Go for a run, get yourself fit and approach some girls on the street (if your young like me then this may be tricky finding girls your own age). You could try the local park, or high street. Your bound to find at least one girl there everyday you can practise cold approaches on.

Also, I've noticed you seem to be dependant on the girl. By this I don't mean you need her to feed you and ****. I mean all your actions are reactions of what she does. "In the extremely rare case a girl approaches me, she most likely has something she wants to talk to about already, so that's different.
Obviously I'm going to say Hi, and figure out what the girl wants." - You shouldn't care what she wants. Only you matter.

As for opening a group of people, I recomend you practise it. It's a lot easier than talking to a single person, and your gonna have to do it a lot more. Just go in there and ask them as a group their opinion on something, maybe the food served at school. Doesn't really matter as they're not gonna remember your opener. Just remember to use a false time constraint (I gotta go in a sec, but before I do....) so they don't sit there wondering when your going to leave, and remember to pay less attention to your target. Shotgun negs are good as they'll get you social proof with her group and help build interest.

In HS it is different to a club, but basics still apply. The most important thing for you to do is go out and practise! Preferably outside of school so you don't have to see them again and you don't **** up your rep.

 

[i am me]

But what I'm asking is, can I improve my game at school? Is there no way to improve if I don't have a car?

In high school, you usually dont just go up to a girl and start talkin...in that sense, its a lil different than the outside world. u can start makin yourself a lotta friends tho (girls AND guys) and thatll make it easier for u to meet new people because those people will know other people who know other people, and it keeps goin....eventually people will wanna do favors for u and your car problem wont be a problem anymore

if u wanna talk to random girls in the hallway or somethin, its easier if u hav a friend wit u and u say somethin when u pass by cus then it looks like u and ur boy are jus havin fun...or if the hallways empty and its jus u two, u can make a comment or 2

 

[MrConfidence]

Alright, I've been watching through your posts and I'm going to give you a few basic tips/explinations on what to do. (sorry if I repeat anyone who has already posted).

You keep saying you don't have a car, and that your set at approaches at school. First you need to ask yourself why, I'm truely interested at your reasons for this. Second, the mall isn't the only option for outside school. Girls are everywhere. Go for a run, get yourself fit and approach some girls on the street (if your young like me then this may be tricky finding girls your own age). You could try the local park, or high street. Your bound to find at least one girl there everyday you can practise cold approaches on.

Also, I've noticed you seem to be dependant on the girl. By this I don't mean you need her to feed you and ****. I mean all your actions are reactions of what she does. "In the extremely rare case a girl approaches me, she most likely has something she wants to talk to about already, so that's different.
Obviously I'm going to say Hi, and figure out what the girl wants." - You shouldn't care what she wants. Only you matter.

As for opening a group of people, I recomend you practise it. It's a lot easier than talking to a single person, and your gonna have to do it a lot more. Just go in there and ask them as a group their opinion on something, maybe the food served at school. Doesn't really matter as they're not gonna remember your opener. Just remember to use a false time constraint (I gotta go in a sec, but before I do....) so they don't sit there wondering when your going to leave, and remember to pay less attention to your target. Shotgun negs are good as they'll get you social proof with her group and help build interest.

In HS it is different to a club, but basics still apply. The most important thing for you to do is go out and practise! Preferably outside of school so you don't have to see them again and you don't **** up your rep.

My reasons why I'm set at approaching at school? Easy, I don't have a car so there's not much place else I can approach, if I did have a car, I would already be taking superchill's advice and going to the mall. Running I can do, but firstly, I'm already doing track, and second, like you said, not many girls my age live in this neighborhood, mostly children and adults. As for local park, I don't believe there's one close to here. Would approaching girls at the local market, or at a fast food restuarant work? I know a McDonalds which isn't far from here.

You're advice on groups is good. But how do you deal with a group when there's another guy in a group of girls?

you said you just want to only approach at school. it's not because you can't it's because you only want to for some weird ass reason despite the fact that I just proved that it'd be better for you to devleop your social circle at school and your game at the mall. why do you want to exclusively approach in school so badly?

I've been over this before.

 

[MrConfidence]

Don't get me wrong, I want to improve, but fear holds me back. An instance of that? There's this group of Freshman girls I saw during lunch and I was going to go up to their table and talk to them. I never did, and eventually the table got with other girls. Next lunch period, I saw this group of senior girls I could've approached, never did it. I eventually got tired, said "screw it" and sat with my friends. I have almost nothing to do talk these girls about, and it'll most likely end up in boring conversation like all my other approaches. But 3 pages is enough... I gotta do approach tomorrow. But damn, I'm so insecure, I don't know what to talk about.

 

[i am me]

/\dont sweat it man. most high school kids are too scared to go up to a random group of girls and start talkin so its not like ur doing anything out the ordinary. when u get the courage to finally get over your fear tho, it jus makes u that much better than everyone else

 

[MrConfidence]

lied about that being my last post.

don't say things like that to viper because that only rationalizes his inaction. he will get results when he gets the courage? and when is that going to be? not until he starts trying.

I'll tell you when, today. Dide, I can play tons of instruments, I run track, I wrestle, this should be easy.

 

[MrConfidence]

It's official man, I'm done trying to sarge in school. No good looking chicks in any of my classes, and it's a b*tch to approach at lunch. There is still one option though, try to sarge on some of the girls on the track team. Since we would already both be doing track, we could discuss that.

 

[crossboss]

I skipped ahead but.

Yes, you will get rejected. It is part of the game. Lets say you approach 9 girls, 8 reject you. Well, that's one person that you have. You have nothing to lose. Practice makes perfect.

Do you learn how to play the piano by reading? No, you do. It apply's girls as well. When you play the piano that is how you learn.

Do you play the piano the best the first time? Hell, no. However you improve, it is all about self-improvement.

Your comfort level is quite low right now, so let's say you still can't do it. Well, just approach a guy. Obivously, you don't want to bang him, but just get practice talking to people. Over time your comfort level will increase.

Then approach a girl, even if it is a grandma, at least you will get comfortable with it. Just approach for the heck of it.

Then finally approach, girls that you'd like to approach. You just have to put in the effort.

 

[crossboss]

Fear....

So I see fear is your problem. Did you fear the first time you rode your bike? Most kids have. However, they did something. They were afraid, but they did something.

That bully, he was tough. Did you sit there are let him pick on you. No, you stood up for your self.

You have a problem. To fix a problem you have to face it. You have two real choices.

1. Would you rather be spending time all day on a computer, while people try and tell you advice all day and you blow them off. Everybody has told you what you need to hear. So just face it, you won't be approaching, for the rest of your life. People will hate you for the rest of you life. You are a loser. If you choose to be be. If you do nothing you will stay a loser the world's perception for the rest of your life.

2. But are you really a loser? Or would you like to stay a loser. Or would you like to experience pain. But, get better. Sure they might call you a loser. They might laugh at you. But you get better.

 

[crossboss]

I used to be just like you.

I was a loser. I decided after listening to people the board. I was tired. I was tired of being lonely on the weekend, having no friends. Did I just sit on the computer and whine all day?

No, I eventually started talking to girls. Right now, I am I 10/10 with girls? No, but I am at least 5/10 a lot better than I was before. Girls cheat on their boyfriends with me.

Not to brag, but I am just trying to make a point. I knew I was a loser, but I took the advice the best I could. I did what I could do. You have so much potential you are wasting it. Just start talking.

 

[Rock_Solid]

It's official man, I'm done trying to sarge in school. No good looking chicks in any of my classes, and it's a b*tch to approach at lunch. There is still one option though, try to sarge on some of the girls on the track team. Since we would already both be doing track, we could discuss that.

Wow man, I'm finally sick of your crap. If your THAT scared of approaching women that your "done" trying to sarge at school, your officially labeled a complete AFC, and a *****.

Grow a pair! or at least stop wasting all of our time, we're all trying to help you, but if you can't help yourself then stop wasting our time.

 

[Rock_Solid]

i must have spent over an hour of my life posting on these threads and yet nothing has made even the slighest impact on him.

Me too bro

whether its him not knowing what to say after the lines that people give him, him being unable to think of any conversation topics, him not being able to get to the mall, him thinking approaching at lunch is "a *****", him periodically thinking that he doesn't need to have a social life due to his various random activities, the girl's friends being there, him having a "bad rep",

Actually, i think his problem is just that he's afraid to talk to girls, just like little pre-pubescent boy.

i think he should be banned from this forum because he just wastes everybodys valuable time. we all try to help him and he just doesn't take action. he's even talking about giving up after all this support everyone has given him. pathetic

Agreed, I wont even open another thread created by Mr. Confidence, i suggest nobody else does either.