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Don't want to text or speak with gf on her bday

Glassguy

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On a side note, do you think a high value woman with options/orbiters would stick around if a guy just started acting like this to her out of the blue?

I don't think so.
 

_sideways_

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I understand your logic, but she damn well knows how she acted without OP pointing it out.

Any further contact welcoming this behavior is laying down a foundation that let's her know that it's OK to act like this to him.

Not for me dawg. Deuces. Dust in the wind.....ghost.

Now if after some S&D she decides to crawl back and change her tune, give it another shot. Any further disrespect and its not a one time thing anymore, it's who she is. At that point block and delete.

Millions of women are out there guys. Go find a better one. Or 3.
What's S&D?
 

RickTheToad

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I understand your logic, but she damn well knows how she acted without OP pointing it out.

Any further contact welcoming this behavior is laying down a foundation that let's her know that it's OK to act like this to him.

Not for me dawg. Deuces. Dust in the wind.....ghost.

Now if after some S&D she decides to crawl back and change her tune, give it another shot. Any further disrespect and its not a one time thing anymore, it's who she is. At that point block and delete.

Millions of women are out there guys. Go find a better one. Or 3.
Depends. How much time has the OP invested in her? I'm all for putting a person on point. That's what I do. Maybe she has person reasons with family that on her mind, maybe it's her time of the month. No one is in her mind. Hence, you put her on point once. Does it again peace.

Also, remember, there's three sides to every story.
 

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Glassguy

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Depends. How much time has the OP invested in her? I'm all for putting a person on point. That's what I do. Maybe she has person reasons with family that on her mind, maybe it's her time of the month. No one is in her mind. Hence, you put her on point once. Does it again peace.

Also, remember, there's three sides to every story.
According to the original post, her behavior was out of left field. My first thought is another man has her attention, therefore she begins the dismantling of the relationship with him by starting fights......that begins with exactly this type of behavior.

Its like when a woman starts a fight over dirty dishes. Its not about the dishes, its that she wants to bomb the relationship because he has underlying reasons why she has lost nearly all respect for him. MOST of the time there is another **** in the hen house, or about to be, so the woman starts these nit picky fights under the assurance that she has an easy place to swing over to via the monkey branch.

I dont care if I have dated someone for 3 weeks or 3 years. Disrespectful behavior (when it is uncalled for) is not tolerated. Period.
 

_sideways_

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Sabotaging the "relationship"...I get it.
But...we ended the relationship two months ago. There was no contact the entire two months.
She called me out of the blue a week ago.
And starting calling me to say goodnight.
I called her twice. Once to ask for a friend if girl can do nails. The other call was this one with the snarky comment.

I'm just giving more info for the sake of it... analysis if you will.
I am still NC.
I know the grass is greener under my feet. Just gonna keep going out and talk to girls.
 

_sideways_

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And who cares if she has other dudes. We are not a couple and it's her life.
 

_sideways_

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you literally called her your GF in the title dude. You set this thread up to fail.
Oh...I meant as of yesterday. Gf, girl, woman, female...it's all the same
I thought we were going back to normal.
But everybody was right about the disrespect.
 

LoboSolitario

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I called her today...she answers with "speak..."
Yeah unless you have a running "banter" running her along these lines...

...or if she was a non-native English speaker this would not be far off a "literal" although not "correct/smooth" translation...

I'm like...are you my secretary?
...implies you don't have a "running banter" along these lines with her, so yeah you were taking aback by the unexpected, maybe you even heard an arrogant command in what she said.

How about you answer with "hello"
Or "hi, what's up"
Perhaps you felt it was rude of her. What is rudeness? It's a perception firstly.

The perception of rudeness appears when there is a disparity between our expected behavior and our received behavior.

A really useful definition to bear in mind, particularly useful when one is traveling as we will encounter contrasting cultural norms and if we were to take every cultural disparity personally, we would end up abroad closing ourselves off, perhaps in a corner of McDonalds using their wifi "escaping" (trying to reconnect with our own perceived "normal" culture).

Coño, me enrollo mas que una persiana. En fin, bref.....(inside joke)

The number one rule in personal relationships is to stop taking stuff personally. Rather see what's behind the others' behavior. What makes them tick, what are their motivations.

Consider it like chess. Don't feel slighted when the other takes a pawn. Poker face and consider with diligence your next move.

That's not a very nice way to answer the phone....she hangs up.
Ok. And again not to diminish your sentiments on the matter. But you gave her a direct criticism and she took it to heart. There are a few things to consider here.

1. direct critizisims can sting people. I say this to you as a person who is not politically correct and probably too direct at times. I say this to you as a person who believes "nobody can hurt you without your consent". That being said, not everyone follows that philosophy. Kid gloves are required with some if we desire a something with them..

2. Hanging up on someone is a sign of emotionally immaturity. Tread with caution my friend. Emotionally immature women can and will wreck havoc in your life if allowed.

3. I smell something amiss here; perhaps bpd. Why? OK so if it was out of the ordinary for her to say "speak" then at an inner (subconscious ) level this female knows that saying that will get a reaction from you....

...Mi amigo, she wanted a reaction from you. She wanted to hang up the phone to you. She wanted to be upset on her birthday and she wanted to be able to play the victim. She wanted to be able to not answer you after you wished her a happy birthday. She wanted to be able to blame you for "ruining her birthday" even though she orchestrated it so magically.

Notice a pattern with fvcked up people (how politically correct of me to say people not) THEY DO THEIR BEST TO SCREW UP ANY CELEBRATIONS AND HOLIDAYS.
 

RickTheToad

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According to the original post, her behavior was out of left field. My first thought is another man has her attention, therefore she begins the dismantling of the relationship with him by starting fights......that begins with exactly this type of behavior.

Its like when a woman starts a fight over dirty dishes. Its not about the dishes, its that she wants to bomb the relationship because he has underlying reasons why she has lost nearly all respect for him. MOST of the time there is another **** in the hen house, or about to be, so the woman starts these nit picky fights under the assurance that she has an easy place to swing over to via the monkey branch.

I dont care if I have dated someone for 3 weeks or 3 years. Disrespectful behavior (when it is uncalled for) is not tolerated. Period.
Guess you never had a bad day. If there was disrespectful behavior prior to this and he didn't get her back in line, then it's partly his fault. Once you give them an inch, they will go for a yard. It's human nature.
 

_sideways_

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Yeah unless you have a running "banter" running her along these lines...

...or if she was a non-native English speaker this would not be far off a "literal" although not "correct/smooth" translation...



...implies you don't have a "running banter" along these lines with her, so yeah you were taking aback by the unexpected, maybe you even heard an arrogant command in what she said.



Perhaps you felt it was rude of her. What is rudeness? It's a perception firstly.

The perception of rudeness appears when there is a disparity between our expected behavior and our received behavior.

A really useful definition to bear in mind, particularly useful when one is traveling as we will encounter contrasting cultural norms and if we were to take every cultural disparity personally, we would end up abroad closing ourselves off, perhaps in a corner of McDonalds using their wifi "escaping" (trying to reconnect with our own perceived "normal" culture).

Coño, me enrollo mas que una persiana. En fin, bref.....(inside joke)

The number one rule in personal relationships is to stop taking stuff personally. Rather see what's behind the others' behavior. What makes them tick, what are their motivations.

Consider it like chess. Don't feel slighted when the other takes a pawn. Poker face and consider with diligence your next move.



Ok. And again not to diminish your sentiments on the matter. But you gave her a direct criticism and she took it to heart. There are a few things to consider here.

1. direct critizisims can sting people. I say this to you as a person who is not politically correct and probably too direct at times. I say this to you as a person who believes "nobody can hurt you without your consent". That being said, not everyone follows that philosophy. Kid gloves are required with some if we desire a something with them..

2. Hanging up on someone is a sign of emotionally immaturity. Tread with caution my friend. Emotionally immature women can and will wreck havoc in your life if allowed.

3. I smell something amiss here; perhaps bpd. Why? OK so if it was out of the ordinary for her to say "speak" then at an inner (subconscious ) level this female knows that saying that will get a reaction from you....

...Mi amigo, she wanted a reaction from you. She wanted to hang up the phone to you. She wanted to be upset on her birthday and she wanted to be able to play the victim. She wanted to be able to not answer you after you wished her a happy birthday. She wanted to be able to blame you for "ruining her birthday" even though she orchestrated it so magically.

Notice a pattern with fvcked up people (how politically correct of me to say people not) THEY DO THEIR BEST TO SCREW UP ANY CELEBRATIONS AND HOLIDAYS.
Thanks.
Makes sense.
So today she text "hi"
I know I said no contact...but like how your very insightful post explains how we sometimes misinterpret. Etc.
So text goes like this.
Her-"Hi"
Me-"speak"
Her-"nothing".

That's that.
 

_sideways_

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Guess you never had a bad day. If there was disrespectful behavior prior to this and he didn't get her back in line, then it's partly his fault. Once you give them an inch, they will go for a yard. It's human nature.
No but see...I chalked it up as a bad day for her...hence I still wished her a happy bday.
The no response from her until today is what shows that she wasn't bleeding from her eye and was not in a good mood.

And if it was a harmless joke and I'm too sensitive. I did the same thing to her and she also didn't take it as a harmless "how do you do".
 

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mrgoodstuff

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Here's the thing....
I called her today...she answers with "speak..."
I'm like...are you my secretary?
How about you answer with "hello"
Or "hi, what's up"
That's not a very nice way to answer the phone....she hangs up.
Whatever...time of the month, stress, puppy got run over....who knows...
Her bday is tomorrow....I had a plan...but now I don't even want to text her happy bday.
It's disrespectful. Another disrespectful one is "whats up?". She's not online with you. Fvck with someone who is.
 

_sideways_

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She's super cute and can turn up the sexy with ease....at least with me. And she dresses like a girl that knows what's up. I notice guys sneak a look when we go out. My little nephew actually went up to her and said she was pretty and he would not stop looking at her.
And she acts alpha I guess. Or confident in herself.
It's disrespectful. Another disrespectful one is "whats up?". She's not online with you. Fvck with someone who is.
Right?!.... Even if she's not head over heels again...act as a friend at least.
 

_sideways_

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All this I'm sharing because it's easy to fall into "oneitis".
And there are girl players out there too.
 

mrgoodstuff

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She's super cute and can turn up the sexy with ease....at least with me. And she dresses like a girl that knows what's up. I notice guys sneak a look when we go out. My little nephew actually went up to her and said she was pretty and he would not stop looking at her.
And she acts alpha I guess. Or confident in herself.

Right?!.... Even if she's not head over heels again...act as a friend at least.
No, she told you the truth! That she doesn't really want to be bothered, but will listen to what your saying. So take her truth and go find another babe to get closer to and inside of!
 

_sideways_

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No, she told you the truth! That she doesn't really want to be bothered, but will listen to what your saying. So take her truth and go find another babe to get closer to and inside of!
I thought about that as well.
Take it a step further....she has a dude or dudes and wants me to stay away and not fvck up her shyt.
Like now she has peace of mind knowing that I will not be texting or calling at any time so she can relax and enjoy her time worry free.
I can do her that favor.
It's that she is the one texting me from her work.
I'm semi retired so im home working out, cooking, etc...go for my jogs...my walks to the park. Stop by a "pub" get me a little smile on my face and be a human.
Idk....
I should have just said ...NC.
But I do like that there is a lot of intelligent dudes on here with original thoughts.
And not the typical...f that bish
 
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