Don't want to be like my dad

[Tortendieb]

Since I got into my 20s, I've grown disillusioned with my dad or with him being a role model.

He's cold, frigid, distant, close-minded, and largely uninteresting. But with every passing year I realize I'm more and more like him. I'm really trying hard but I always revert to my old personality. The way I was brought up.

It seems like a shadow hanging over me, the heritage I can't shake off. I can't help but feel doomed...

you tell me. Can personalities really change, and stay that way? Or are we all burdened with childhood sh1t which made us AFC in the first place, and we'll eternally have to fight it?

Sometimes I feel like giving up the fight to become DJ. Isn't it supposed to be a natural transition? I feel like I'm constantly battling a massive headwind.

 

[JohnChops]

You really have to push and want it . Its like with anything it takes a long time, a lot of field practice, and dedication. I think you should focus on what you want to do in your lifetime and not focus on becoming the opposite of your dad. Aslong as you can get up and look at yourself in the mirror and smile youll be fine

 

[Sir Psycho Sexy]

The fact that you have identified a problem and want to change it is the first step.

 

[Who Dares Win]

You become what you do and you do what you want.

Keep in mind that if you want to fly like an eagle you cannot surround yourself with chickens, of course its painful to find new ways and attend different people but it's not the only way for a change.

I wrote extensively in this forum about toxic environment which ruin people wheter is their faimly,their peer group or the culture of the society in which they live.

I will elaborate better tomorrow if it needs.

 

[Alle_Gory]

Or are we all burdened with childhood sh1t which made us AFC in the first place, and we'll eternally have to fight it?

You have to fight it, but it gets easier everyday. After awhile, you just stay the way that you want because you've made a new habit.

If you want to change it, then do it. Put in the effort and do it. Not half assed, you go all the way and make the change or don't even waste the time. If it's important to you, then do it. My old man is a useless piece of sh*t also. I strive to be not like him everyday, unfortunately we do share some qualities. He's not all bad, it's just the result of his poor actions that are awful and that I have to live with. But it gets easier the more you fight your problems.

I find that the best way is to simply pretend the problem doesn't exist and do the right thing. At first it seems weird and mechanical, like you're an actor. It doesn't feel right but with enough practice it just feels natural.