"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Don't Wait Too Long

AlexKaiser

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 25, 2017
Messages
193
Reaction score
102
Age
35
Maybe you have your eye on a specific girl. Maybe you're building your value up before you go to her and try to win her over. Working out some more, getting more money, working on your game. Its good that you aren't just suicide-bombing yourself at her, failing, then hating all women because you failed to get the one you want.

Don't spend your entire time planning and waiting. Why?

You aren't the only one who has eyes on her. From the moment she comes outside her home, goes to college or work or whatever, she's on the market. There are other men going after her, and you have limited time to seize your chance. If a higher quality male woos her, you may never get a chance to go after her again.

She might get married.
She might decide to be FWBs with only one guy.
She might get damaged and be unapproachable.
She might become the plaguespreader ho.

Guys aren't going to give you a chance, aren't going to "Be Kind and Rewind", aren't going to plan for the next ****. They will do what they want with her, and you'll either get scraps, or cleanup crew. There's not going to be a man going "Well I'm done with her, your turn! I cleaned her off, made sure not to damage her head, and I even taught her some positions for you! Have fun!"

That, and you never know how life turns out.
Maybe she moves away.
Maybe she gets extremely sick.
Maybe an accident makes her unable to be independent.
Maybe she dies.

Don't wait in line politely, or lurk on the sidelines hoping for the perfect opportunity.

Make the perfect opportunity.
Put yourself in the front of the line.
Go all out.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

resilient

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2005
Messages
1,636
Reaction score
1,366
Meh. This sounds like scarcity mentality. Personally, I don't have the SMV, time, frame, or emotional reserves to compete with a plate's monkey branches right now. I rather invest in myself than become her next card for the quick discard pile.
 

ubercat

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 6, 2015
Messages
3,671
Reaction score
2,309
Location
Australia
Agree that's too much focus on one girl there's plenty more
 

blind_one

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 21, 2012
Messages
648
Reaction score
233
Location
Eye of the storm
@resilient
@ubercat

While I agree that scarcity is toxic and can lead to many, many wrong decisions and heartache,
unapologetic firm grasp on reality is also required. After a while the abundance starts to ingrain itself in your mindset. It is a great thing. However I also like to treat every opportunity independently.
What I mean is that every person, that includes women, is still a human being, although often times damaged or scarred, every single one of us is in some parts a collective of our own memories,experiences and choices. There is that small percentage of people who get it, even women,and if I was not lucky to meet some of them I would not believe they even existed.

Regardless ,if you have encountered a special snowflake or not, you should do it for yourself and go for what you want, unapologetically and with presence.
 

ubercat

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 6, 2015
Messages
3,671
Reaction score
2,309
Location
Australia
Yep that's possible just not common. To give a concrete example a friend of mine played the long game with a housemate. She was very reserved and changeable. Turns out there was sexual abuse in her childhood. Now obviously any person deserves a whole lot of passes for that. However at the end of the day he couldn't make the relationship work her issues we just too deep set and he basically wasted two years of his life. Now obviously this is an extreme example but there's so many broken woman out that you have to be cautious about over investing
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

devilkingx2

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
4,521
Reaction score
2,229
Location
NYC
Meh. This sounds like scarcity mentality. Personally, I don't have the SMV, time, frame, or emotional reserves to compete with a plate's monkey branches right now. I rather invest in myself than become her next card for the quick discard pile.
I think his point was that if you wait too long you won't get laid and that's what we're here for
 

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
8,398
Reaction score
5,150
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
Agree with the OP, but I have a different angle.

When a woman is attracted to you, she only gives you a limited (time) window to make a move. Once that window closes, it's friendzone, even if she's still single.

It's tempting to wait and gather more "evidence" that's she's attracted to you. But that can lead to you waiting too long.

Strike when the iron is hot.
 

Glassguy

Moderator
Joined
Apr 25, 2016
Messages
4,789
Reaction score
8,861
Age
49
Stopped reading at "win her over".

Since when is she a prize that you are chasing?

Strike while the iron is hot if there is high interest. Stop putting chicks on a pedestal. It's pathetic
 

Joji

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2017
Messages
82
Reaction score
16
Age
27
I like that, "strike when the iron is hot."
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

jnMissouri

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 2, 2014
Messages
793
Reaction score
322
Totally agree with this, but to add to it, there seems to be a window of opportunity with women in general, even if they don't end up taken or moving away. There seems to be a point, where even in a matter of a couple of weeks, perhaps less, if you don't make a move, you're already in the friends zone in her mind....
 

jnMissouri

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 2, 2014
Messages
793
Reaction score
322
I think his point was that if you wait too long you won't get laid and that's what we're here for
Yep, wish I had read the full thread before responding, but you nailed it. That's been EXACTLY my experience as well.
 
Top