Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Don't wait for a sign of interest.

squirrels

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There are many, many women out there who won't give you any encouragement, sexually. Even if they want it. So if you wait around for HER to give you a sign of interest, you may miss a lot of opportunities.

Most girls won't open kino, for example. You have to go ahead and touch them first...really start to warm them up before they counter with their own touching...if you get that early-on, consider yourself lucky and take full advantage. (or you're dealing with an attention wh0re, but the only way to find out is to go for it!!)

Unless a girl is REALLY taken with you, she probably won't put forth any effort to further the sarge. She'll make opportunities but YOU have to capitalize on them.

This is a natural sh!t-test. Women offer openings, but unless they are extremely attracted they do not actively pursue. This is female nature...receptiveness.

The chump who has no self-confidence will sit and wait for a sign of interest and, not receiving any, will hem and haw and wait aimlessly until his self-doubt overcomes him and he walks away.

Or she'll glance over at him, but she won't smile and instead just looks the other way. He'll read that as disinterest and go mope in the corner.

Or he'll be on a date with a girl and put his arm around her but she won't react at all...she won't snuggle closer, won't look at him, acts like it didn't even happen. And he'll assume she's not interested in him physically and back off.

But the truth is he NEVER GOT REJECTED. He rejected HIMSELF because he took her lack of reaction as disinterest.

This is what Gunwitch and others mean when they say, "Make the ho say no." Remember...girls can't give go-ahead signs to any guy (and you'd be naive to think they don't know their own signs well enough to mask them), because if they did, they'd have EVERY guy out there wanting to bang them. And often they feel uncomfortable giving those signs even to the guys they WANT, because even THAT can be seen as "slutty", and they don't want to appear too interested in the cawk all at once.

You ever been at a party or in a nightclub/bar and seen a guy just walk right up to a girl you were trying to work up the nerve to talk to...and start talking to her, putting his arm around her, etc, and she seemed to be unphased by it...and chuckled to yourself about how the guy was an ass and was just being obnoxious and couldn't get any?

Then later that night you find her warming up to him, seeking HIM out, smiling, giving out her number, etc...and you wondered how she could POSSIBLY be taken in by his lame "routine"?

She was into him from the BEGINNING. During the proverbial "7 seconds", she had already decided that this guy made the first cut. From then on it was simply a test of his persistence, to see if he felt confident that he was the real deal or if he would be overtaken by his insecurities in response to her indifference and take off.

Too many guys make that first cut, but the hot girl he's talking to offers little in the way of encouragement. This is the "mirror-test". With no positive feedback, a man receives no indication of his self-worth from the woman, so he has to derive it for himself. If he looks at himself and sees one who isn't worthy of the woman in front of him, then he will reject himself. He will wait for a sign of interest or encouragement and, receiving none, he will give up on a woman that he could have easily seduced. If he truly BELIEVES that he has what it takes to seduce the girl, he will persist until outright rejected.

This is what's "hard" about approaching, about revealing interest, and about escalating. This is what "AFCs" have so much trouble with...taking control of their OWN lives when encouragement is not offered to them.

Do NOT ask, "Is she interested in me?". Find out.
Do NOT wait for a sign of interest. Assume she is interested.
Do NOT wait for the right moment. MAKE it.

If a lack of encouragement forces you to quit at something as simple as picking up a girl...what is she supposed to think you're going to do when REAL problems come up, when you go through the hardship of raising kids and providing for their well-being? Act like you've got a pair...don't rely on other people to create your self-esteem for you.
 

whistler

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Great sh!t.

4.758 Stars!
 

micon

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excellent 5 stars. very important points are made.
 

medicman739

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Great post squirrel . very motivating. I my self have been guilty of waiting for a sign of interest before moving in. The next time i am with a lady. I will make my own opportunitys.In faxed i will do it monday .
 

General

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Bull

That's bull I don't believe that one.I think if a girl is interested in you she will at least in some way show a sign that she is.You will just look like a fool going on a wild goose chase if you try to just approach every single female you see.If I woman likes you she will give you some,any indication she likes you.Even if it's over time she will do it.Many guys just don't see the signs that's a big problem.She will make it a point to touch you,greet you,she will be extra nice to you,look at you in a certain way or whatever she will show a sign if she is interested in you.She will look at you in a certain way.You will just feel the vibe.You have to look for everything.
 

kickureface

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General said:
That's bull I don't believe that one.I think if a girl is interested in you she will at least in some way show a sign that she is.You will just look like a fool going on a wild goose chase if you try to just approach every single female you see.If I woman likes you she will give you some,any indication she likes you.Even if it's over time she will do it.Many guys just don't see the signs that's a big problem.She will make it a point to touch you,greet you,she will be extra nice to you,look at you in a certain way or whatever she will show a sign if she is interested in you.She will look at you in a certain way.You will just feel the vibe.You have to look for everything.
SOME will, SOME won't. don't bother walking out on an opportunity that is there by observing THAT deeply. just act-it works. if you can read basic signs, that's good enough. if you're always looking for signs, then you'll just have sore eyes before you THINK it is time to act, if you even get there that is.
 

matygee

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hey great post man very logical made alot of sense.
 

Macca

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Fanatastic post squirrels! You've just opened my eyes to 2 scenarios that happened to me at the beginning of the century! Now this shows that things can happen both ways:

One time I walked into the local Yates on Friday night and noticed this quite attractive blonde staring at me. Yep, it was so obvious that her eyes were fixated on me that I felt a little awkward. As I walked past her I said "hi" and straight away she said "what's your name" etc etc, and before I knew it a fully blown conversation had erupted - I hadn't even got to the bar! My mates got me a drink and 2 of them looked real peeved as they kinda worship their egos! Funny thing was when they tried to muscle in on the chat and she more or less told them to fock off...hahah great stuff!!! She told me straight out that she fancied me - my hair, eyes, build, and clothing were just right she said! Within minutes we were all over each other...great night!!!

On another occasion the complete opposite happened, I was out with some friends from work on a night on the town when I spotted this girl in a local theme pub (she knew some girl I worked with). I walked over to her and tried my damndest to talk to her but she was just flaking and turning her head away all the time...then suddenly she said "look I'm not into men with hairy chests" - she could see the forest sticking out of the top of my shirt. Well with that I sort of said fair enough, but said that she was being a little unfair as I couldn't help having a hairy chest! Her expression sort of told me to get fvcked! So I walked off and we all went to a local nightclub, she tagged along too. In there I was acting a bit extrovert i.e. I was chatting to every nice female I could, downing shorts in front of work mates and just having a laugh. All the time this was going on, the bird that didn't like my chest was just staring at me...I was giving her the odd cheeky smile as I intepreted her stare as one of disgust at my behaviour!

After the nightclub we buzzed off to O'Neils, now this girl started getting real frisky with me like squeezing my arse and rubbing herself against me at every oppurtunity. So I thought fuk this, and wallked up to her and just started kissing...I mean real passionate kissing, it was as if she really wanted it more then anything! As the night went on we were all over each other - she had a lovely shaved pvssy and a great arse too! I got her number and it turned out she lived in Wokingham (100 miles from me). I arranged to meet up with her there the following week, I fvcked her brains out at her place...she gave me the best blow job on the planet too...she was great!

So there you go - 2 scenarios where I did the work and was fobbed off, and one where the chick did all the work!

I don't why I haven't got a woman...I've already proven to myself that I can pull - I'm so glad this site jogs my memory...

Sorry for the ramble
 

spesmilitis

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PlasticSurgeon said:
:D :up: Squirrel it up!!!!! :rockon:

LOL. I'm gonna use that from now on. Whenever there's a poster who has trouble with waiting for sign's of interest, I'll go 'dude, you gotta Squirrel it up!!!!'
 

mahon83050

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General said:
That's bull I don't believe that one.I think if a girl is interested in you she will at least in some way show a sign that she is.You will just look like a fool going on a wild goose chase if you try to just approach every single female you see.If I woman likes you she will give you some,any indication she likes you.Even if it's over time she will do it.Many guys just don't see the signs that's a big problem.She will make it a point to touch you,greet you,she will be extra nice to you,look at you in a certain way or whatever she will show a sign if she is interested in you.She will look at you in a certain way.You will just feel the vibe.You have to look for everything.
Sorry Squirrels, I am with General on this one.

I think a majority of women Do send signals when they are interested in a guy. These could be a smile, glances, that "gaze" in her eyes, her asking you questions about you. Some men just are not good at picking them up. I think looking for subtle signs of interest is a great "weeding out" tool.

For example, my friend has a roomate who is very cute (my type physically). I have met her a few times and she gives me NO indication that she is interested at all, and I believe she truly is NOT INTERESTED based on the vibes I get. If she were, she would smile more, hold my gaze and ask me questions about myself. She does none of those things, and I know she is NOT shy.

The fact that she gives me no signs of interest, makes my life easier because I know I don't have to try and muster of the courage to ask her out since she is not interested to begin with.

However, I do not think your post is totally bogus. Maybe 15-20% of the girls out there may not send signals.

Also, I have done a few cold approaches and they did not work out. It reinforces my belief, no subtle signals= no interest to begin with.
 

squirrels

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mahon83050 said:
Sorry Squirrels, I am with General on this one.

I think a majority of women Do send signals when they are interested in a guy. These could be a smile, glances, that "gaze" in her eyes, her asking you questions about you. Some men just are not good at picking them up. I think looking for subtle signs of interest is a great "weeding out" tool.

For example, my friend has a roomate who is very cute (my type physically). I have met her a few times and she gives me NO indication that she is interested at all, and I believe she truly is NOT INTERESTED based on the vibes I get. If she were, she would smile more, hold my gaze and ask me questions about myself. She does none of those things, and I know she is NOT shy.

The fact that she gives me no signs of interest, makes my life easier because I know I don't have to try and muster of the courage to ask her out since she is not interested to begin with.

However, I do not think your post is totally bogus. Maybe 15-20% of the girls out there may not send signals.

Also, I have done a few cold approaches and they did not work out. It reinforces my belief, no subtle signals= no interest to begin with.
To me, a girl accepting my date invitation is enough of an IOI. :) I wasn't talking about just cold-approaching girls and then staying locked in when it didnt' appear that they were even interested in even getting to know me. I'm talking about the guy who went on a date that seemed to be going well but just tapered off while the guy was sitting there thinking, "should I kiss her" while the girl was sitting there thinking, "why the f*ck doesn't he kiss me?". How many times have we seen on this forum where the guy is laying in the girl's bed with her or on the couch alone with her and she cuddles up to him, and he doesn't DO anything because he's waiting for her to give him that "sign of interest" in sexual activity?

I don't wait the socially acceptable three-days. I work fast and am always trying to get frisky with women who are attracted to me. That's all I meant by this post. It's kind of along the same lines as GWM..."Make the ho say no". Most women WILL give signs they're into you, but because of ASD, they don't overtly show signs that they wanna f*ck. That's where most guys assume DISinterest and back off, just when things are getting hot.
 

mahon83050

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squirrels said:
To me, a girl accepting my date invitation is enough of an IOI. :) I wasn't talking about just cold-approaching girls and then staying locked in when it didnt' appear that they were even interested in even getting to know me. I'm talking about the guy who went on a date that seemed to be going well but just tapered off while the guy was sitting there thinking, "should I kiss her" while the girl was sitting there thinking, "why the f*ck doesn't he kiss me?". How many times have we seen on this forum where the guy is laying in the girl's bed with her or on the couch alone with her and she cuddles up to him, and he doesn't DO anything because he's waiting for her to give him that "sign of interest" in sexual activity?

I don't wait the socially acceptable three-days. I work fast and am always trying to get frisky with women who are attracted to me. That's all I meant by this post. It's kind of along the same lines as GWM..."Make the ho say no". Most women WILL give signs they're into you, but because of ASD, they don't overtly show signs that they wanna f*ck. That's where most guys assume DISinterest and back off, just when things are getting hot.
Ok, Gotcha. I do agree with what you are saying then.
 
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