"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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don't understand eye contact, etc

blackbelt2k

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okay, im at a loss... My area of business is majority women, so I have alot of women at my job. There are some really hot ones, some not, some in between...a good spectrum basicly.. If im walking by a really hot one, they usually make and hold eye contact and smile, 6 out of 10 times... if i'm walking past a normal to not hot one, i may get eye contact, i usually don't, they always look away, and they almost never respond to my "hey, how are you".. what i usually get from them is that they look down or look away.. now i don't get it, i don't think im fukin ugly, i mean i get told im cute, sometimes even sexy, so what the hell is the deal???
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Blink

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Well smiles and eye contact are for secure, confident people, no? Maybe these normal-to-not-hot women are self-concious therefore avoid eye contact and smiles? It is probably more them than you. Just a guess.
 

blackbelt2k

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I hope so, I've gotten to the point in my dj training where im relaxed about making eye contact with whoever im talking to you.. i just don't get it... I'd like to seduce one of the normal ones so i can improve on dj skills for the hotter ones, lol
 
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Most normal women aren't going to stare you down. They are going to be shy. If they are interested, they will look back after they look away, or watch you from their peripherial. Don't rely on eye contact from women.
 

Jestor

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blackbelt2k said:
okay, im at a loss... My area of business is majority women, so I have alot of women at my job. There are some really hot ones, some not, some in between...a good spectrum basicly.. If im walking by a really hot one, they usually make and hold eye contact and smile, 6 out of 10 times... if i'm walking past a normal to not hot one, i may get eye contact, i usually don't, they always look away, and they almost never respond to my "hey, how are you".. what i usually get from them is that they look down or look away.. now i don't get it, i don't think im fukin ugly, i mean i get told im cute, sometimes even sexy, so what the hell is the deal???
By hot ones I assume you mean very well dressed, nice bodies, make-up etc. These are usually women that put in the extra effort to get men's attention, and are easier to approach. It's usually the generic looking women that dress plain and don't want to attract attention to themselves, who aren't as confident around men in public.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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ConantheLibertarian

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You're too much of a sexy manbeast for the plain ones blackbelt, you make them think you're trying to invite them to a pig dance :D.
 

Scought

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Don't worry about women in the workplace. That's not a great place to use eye contact as a way to spark some convo. People are at work, trying to be friendly, etc.

Use the eye contact thing when you looking for women.
 

Create Reality

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i agree with blink its probably self-conciousness on their part.
 

blackbelt2k

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ConantheLibertarian said:
You're too much of a sexy manbeast for the plain ones blackbelt, you make them think you're trying to invite them to a pig dance :D.

lol, no..just to the office closet...haha ... well see im just an intern, so i figure, what the heck, why not try and screw the corporate ladder...literally, lol
 

ConantheLibertarian

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blackbelt2k said:
lol, no..just to the office closet...haha ... well see im just an intern, so i figure, what the heck, why not try and screw the corporate ladder...literally, lol
I'm with you on that. Might as well get a few perks of your own while you're there. Then, when it hits the fan, ninja vanish! ;)
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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OneEyedJack

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If you are "cute", you could be intimidating to the ones with lower sexual confidence. By that I mean that they think you are out of their league. No eye contact means they have automatically disqualified themselves. Waste no more time with those ones. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200, go right for the HBs :)
 

PRMoon

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I for one still believe the eyes are a window to the soul. I find it easy to read people's demeanor by eye contact. Since the same can be said of myself I tend to look into peoples eyes just long enough till I've got my feel of them then i look at their eyebrows because that flattens you out and throws them off a bit.
 

backbreaker

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eye contact isn't the holy "fvck me" grail.. jus tlike anything, it's one of the many tools that are used to accomplish your goal, which should be tapping some ass.

I don't normally pay too much attention to eye contact until i have the complete attention of who I am talking to, and we are talking about something that is sexual or something that has a backend purpose built in.

in that case, in all seriousness, if you have her attention, it really doesn't matter what you say. You can say "i like fish and tacos" and it can be the sexiest thing she has ever heard. Because she isn't listening. But just eying a woman down like Cyclops doesn't really serve a purpose.

example.

I can say "hey let's run to the book store and get some starbucks" and I can be looking and moving and fumbling around looking for my keys, OR

I can have a strong look in my eye, look directly into hers and say "hey babe, let's go get some starbucks".. and keep my eyes right there...And give her a small grin with it and watch her melt.. over some damn coffee.

that's why if I'm like a closer... if I can get a woman in my house... you can forget it. My 'save' percentage is in the 90's... because everything I do when a woman, if she is lucky enough to actually make it TO my house, is with the intentions of having sex. not watching movies and hopping something happens out of thin air. Not showing her all my cool "stuff", not cooking and talking over a candle light dinner.... FVCKING.
 
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