Don't Talk Without Purpose

[Mission]

Have a purpose behind everything you say, do not talk simply to hear your own voice. You should be asking people questions, or you should be talking about topics relevant to the conversation. You do not want to simply talk and talk and talk under the impression that it will cause people to think you are all knowing or something. The more you talk, the more it gives chance for people to ignore you, and think of reasons to disqualify you. If you think about what you are going to say, and speak with purpose, you can have the people around you talking and engaging you in conversation, thus they are trying to qualify themselves to you. This will make your life far simpler, and you are far less likely to lose someones attention.

--Mission

 

[Chase12]

i agree.. hehe i used to talk about anything that crossed my mind.. with time ppl didnt really took me srsly

i'd rather be quiet now..altho i still have some brain farts

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Everything you do should have a purpose. One remails lost if the speak or wander or live aimlessly.

 

[amadoodisforrealz]

no offense to you personally, but this tip sucks, and i hope no one follows it.

dude, let loose, life is waay too short to take so seriously. sheesh.

i'd say don't talk about **** you can't back up with action.

"don't talk about it, be about it" is a good tip, but not what you said.

talk and say whatever you want. no one's judging you but yourself.

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what i mean to say is, especially with the guys overanalzying stuff here, they don't need to hear this tip. they already over-think stuff to the max.

and read francisco's signature...

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one more thing...yes, i know something very similar to this tip is said in "48 laws of power" but for me, i want to enjoy life to the max and i don't care about **** like power all the damn time. sure, if you're so concerned about your power over others and plan every aspect of your life so carefully, then this tip is for you

i'm carefee and untouchable and if you also tapped into the power of your own mind you would never need a tip like this

 

[niceguydying]

The less you say, the less you have to apologize for.

 

[-.-]

I for one, agree with this. I really need to STFU.

Like for example...

*Me and girl in car stuck in traffic*

***akward silence for 2-3 minutes***

me: hey look at that yellow car, isnt it nice? mm

her: um... yea... it is nice isnt it... (in a non-convincing, not interested voice)

/her thinks wtf is this guy is so boring wtf did he just comment on a random object? lol what a loser...

-------

moral of story, imo stay quiet and mysterious... let her do the entertaining, let her be the stupid one, let her be the one to qualify herself to you.

this is ofcourse just my opinion, anyway the above skit never happened its just an example, lol.

 

[Mission]

Law 4 from the 48 Laws of Power

by Robert Greene

I haven't even read that book, I did read "The Art of Seduction" by Robert Greene however. Good book. Do you know where I can find this 48 Laws of Power?

I also agree that you should be living life to the fullest and going out and having fun, thats an obvious given. This post doesn't say "don't talk" I am saying that you need to speak purposefully and with direction. Who cares about awkward silence, if you handle it comfortably you will seem like a very suave character.

--Mission

p.s. There actually has been alot of bad advice being given out on the boards lately, its very sad, but to my credit I have been involved in this community for a long time and absolutly NEVER post something unless I feel it necessary.

 

[Stoic_Mo]

no offense to you personally, but this tip sucks, and i hope no one follows it.

dude, let loose, life is waay too short to take so seriously. sheesh.

i'd say don't talk about **** you can't back up with action.

"don't talk about it, be about it" is a good tip, but not what you said.

talk and say whatever you want. no one's judging you but yourself.

--------------

what i mean to say is, especially with the guys overanalzying stuff here, they don't need to hear this tip. they already over-think stuff to the max.

and read francisco's signature...

--------------

one more thing...yes, i know something very similar to this tip is said in "48 laws of power" but for me, i want to enjoy life to the max and i don't care about **** like power all the damn time. sure, if you're so concerned about your power over others and plan every aspect of your life so carefully, then this tip is for you

i'm carefee and untouchable and if you also tapped into the power of your own mind you would never need a tip like this

Mission's post is very sound, and is really not that hard to see why...

 

[Konjac]

Have a purpose behind everything you say, do not talk simply to hear your own voice. You should be asking people questions, or you should be talking about topics relevant to the conversation. You do not want to simply talk and talk and talk under the impression that it will cause people to think you are all knowing or something. The more you talk, the more it gives chance for people to ignore you, and think of reasons to disqualify you. If you think about what you are going to say, and speak with purpose, you can have the people around you talking and engaging you in conversation, thus they are trying to qualify themselves to you. This will make your life far simpler, and you are far less likely to lose someones attention.

--Mission

 

[typical]

both the laws of power and seduction by R greene are excellent books, you dont have to implement everything thats written in them, just knowing about some things are very veryt wise and pushes your inner game to the limit.

Once I read the laws book I stopped talking alot without having anything important to say .......... maybe because I think and act different to the mtv brainwashed generation.

But keep your thoughts to yourself, I now have people trying to get me to spill my lifestory just so they can glut over some small achievment they have made and make me feel like crap, this doesnt work anymore.

Keep your answers vague and turn it back onto them.

Like one mate only comes and talks to me when he needs to ask for something or a favour (I'm gonna cut him out of my life in a few months lol) but yea everytime he visits he tries to find out what I've been up to yadda yadda. I keep it short by saying uni gym the usual this pushes him over the limit and he tries to state how awesome his life is and how much he's earned, chicks he's banged (even though he's married and pvssywhipped), and other crap.

People respect you more and hold you in high values the less you say. You seem larger then life because mainstream garbage doesnt affect you. In the dating world it works out to be great instead of talking about things I do them, I still flirt but more often then not its the girls that talk all day long untill I shut them up by doing somethign sexual with them.

 

[penkitten]

shall we say less is more?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I have to agree with Mission. A few nights ago a couple of buds and I were hanging out with a group of women who were frustrated about the "typical" type of guys that approach them and ask to take them out.

They said that most of the time the guys that they decide to go out with end up being extremely boring because they had nothing to say. Even worse was that even when women attempted to get them to talk the guys would be stoic and aloof.

When the date finally comes to an end the guy asks if he could see them again and they would respectfully decline. They said that they lost all interest in the guy because the guy wasn't interesting, he wouldn't say anything and if he did it wasn't anything with any substance. They really got upset when the guys would keep redirecting the conversation to make the women do all of the talking. They said it felt more like an interview for a job than a date.

I may be more of a conversationalist than the next guy but in being charismatic and engaging, less isn't always more; less is definitely easier for most but it's also very boring. I'm not saying spill your life story but the game of gaining rapport and instilling interest takes interaction, the give and take of a dance between two people.

Just my two cents...

 

[typical]

You do have a point, I think what we're trying to say is dont be a blabber mouth and keep talking and dont be a boring person that cant keep a conversation flowing.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo, good post Mission.



I read somewhere that there are 3 basic forms of verbal communication will get the job done when it comes to building attraction, gaining rapport, AND creating comfort.


They are: Questions, Comments, and Disclosures.

1.Questions:

Get the babe talking about herself (her FAVORITE subject). This way, you get her life story.

2.Comments:

After you get her life story, you can pick and choose the parts of it that you find to be the most interesting and VALUABLE to you in the completing your mission. (Your mission, by the way, should be to capture this woman's heart, mind, and body. lol).

After you have picked an interesting topic SHE has brought up to piggyback on, then you simply make a comment about it. This will show her you're interested, and it will also spark her into further conversation.

3. Disclosures:

And whenever the time is right (see----when you notice the possible BEGINNING of a lull in the conversation), you simply make a disclosure about yourself as it relates to the subject at hand.

Yes, you simply just share something about yourself whether it's funny, exciting, shocking or whatever. The main thing is to reveal SOMETHING about yourself that will draw the woman closer to you in a ROMANTIC/SEXUAL way.

Why? Because if she just wanted to sit around shooting the shyt, she could do that with one of her girlfriends, couldn't she?


Hope this helps.




Peace...one day.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Yo, good post Mission.



I read somewhere that there are 3 basic forms of verbal communication will get the job done when it comes to building attraction, gaining rapport, AND creating comfort.


They are: Questions, Comments, and Disclosures.

1.Questions:

Get the babe talking about herself (her FAVORITE subject). This way, you get her life story.

2.Comments:

After you get her life story, you can pick and choose the parts of it that you find to be the most interesting and VALUABLE to you in the completing your mission. (Your mission, by the way, should be to capture this woman's heart, mind, and body. lol).

After you have picked an interesting topic SHE has brought up to piggyback on, then you simply make a comment about it. This will show her you're interested, and it will also spark her into further conversation.

3. Disclosures:

And whenever the time is right (see----when you notice the possible BEGINNING of a lull in the conversation), you simply make a disclosure about yourself as it relates to the subject at hand.

Yes, you simply just share something about yourself whether it's funny, exciting, shocking or whatever. The main thing is to reveal SOMETHING about yourself that will draw the woman closer to you in a ROMANTIC/SEXUAL way.

Why? Because if she just wanted to sit around shooting the shyt, she could do that with one of her girlfriends, couldn't she?


Hope this helps.




Peace...one day.

These are the very methods that the women I've spoken with are getting bored to tears with. They feel that they are carrying the conversation endlessly. Durign this time the become bored with the guy they're talking to.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Francisco,




I believe I DO grasp what you're saying in concept, but please correct me if I'm wrong:

Are you saying that by sticking to that outline RIGIDLY that a guy comes across as boring?

IF that's what you mean, I totally agree.

But it's like you said earlier, for a good conversationalist, finding things to talk about isn't so difficult. But whether a guy is a good talkier or not, I still believe that those 3 communication modes ARE the basic foundations of any good interaction.

But they are ONLY the framework, or the OUTLINE for a good conversation. If a guy has life experiences and a well-formed personality, then he also has the tools needed to fully FLESH out the conversation by first using those 3 points as his guidelines.

And also, a lot of this can depend on the girl as well----is she making convo easy or hard for a guy?

I know I've dated a babe before who talked so much that ALL she needed from me was to insert those 3 communication strategies at the right time for her to enjoy the hell out of the conversation. And by doing so, to her, I was a brilliant communicater.

Then, I've also dated babes who weren't natural "talkers". For them, I had to ratchet up my vocal input in order to bring her out of her shell. I had to sacrafice a little of my aloofness and mystery in order to establish a better rapport with her. And by doing so, to her, I was also a brilliant conversationalist because I was never at a loss for things to say.

In the end, do you guys think it's just a matter of calibration?

Do you think that it could be best to just let the AMOUNT of, and the DEPTH of a particular conversation FIT THE GIRL?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Women are bored. AFCs are predictable. Rules are confining. Concepts are liberating. Women are dynamic. Successful DJs need to be.

 

[typical]

Women are bored. AFCs are predictable. Rules are confining. Concepts are liberating. Women are dynamic. Successful DJs need to be.

Now that there has so much indepth knowledge in it its amazing everything you need to know in 2 lines damn.