"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Don't make the same mistake I did.

Iguana

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This is for all keyboard jockeys out there. Maybe some of you can relate to this story. This is NOT a new advice, but I just wanted to share with you my personal experience.


I'm a 19 year old guy from Costa Rica and I started reading this stuff about one year ago. The first thing I discovered was David DeAngelo's Double Your Dating. I was so excited!!! I never had any success with women and I have no idea how I came across that book but I was shocked!!! All of a sudden I had a lot of confidence and started applying a lot of C+F on the very few women I knew. I really felt I was on the road of becoming a DJ. I continued reading DDA's mailbags and started a summary with all the greatest ideas, tips, etc. I didn't give a **** of what women could think of me, I was feeling great, blah blah blah. I had success with a particular girl I always liked, I really felt good. I actually thought: "becoming a DJ is not that hard...I'm almost there".

I continued reading the stuff, I read A LOT. I read EVERYDAY (or at least 4 times a week). I tried to approach on the street, gym, parties, but I was having a very hard time with that. I thought "hmmm maybe approaches can wait, I'll apply this techniques on the women I already know".

Guess what?

I HARDLY KNOW ANY GIRLS!!!!

I know exactly the same number of women I did 3 years ago. Why is that!?

I'm an antisocial person. But not because I want to, it's because I'm used to being one. I spend A LOT of time in front of the computer (I study computing engineering) and everytime I'm thinking of going out, I'm just too LAZY to do it. But I didn't realize that. I was hoping that by reading a lot, I was going to be magically succesful with women. How wrong I was.

All of a sudden I realize I was not improving at all! Instead, I was going downhill because I lacked of practice! I didn't feel confident enough, as I did some time ago. I forgot so many things, because I just had SO MUCH information in my head. I didn't feel like I "got it" anymore. It was painful.

The problem was that I had no social life!! Approaches failed because I had no SOCIAL SKILLS. I go out once every 15 days or something. All other days I'm right here in front of the computer, at college or at the gym.

So I stopped reading all the stuff, it was just too much info.

What I'm trying to tell you here, is that social life is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT if you really want to become a DJ. I think that building a strong social life is probably the first step. I spent SO MANY hours reading all the DDA's mailbags and the stuff in this site (which is fvcking brilliant btw), and I probably remember 15% of it all.

If any of you are going through a similar situation , please follow my advise, worry first about becoming a social person, it's the most important thing.

You just can't go and start meeting women if you aren't used to interacting with people.

Right now I'm starting ALL OVER. I wasted one year and didn't improve too much. This time I'm gonna start slow and my #1 priority is improving my conversation skills and spending a lot more time with my friends.

Becoming a DJ is very hard, but don't give up!! I almost did. Just be patient and learn from your errors.


Iguana
Peace & Metal
 
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"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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squirrels

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LOL...finally some DECENT ADVICE!!

You CANNOT be a Don Juan if you can't get along with people. Many people talk about the strong silent type, but the STRONG silent type is the kind of person who doesn't say much, but still has the basic social skills to say something meaningful or make a point when he wants to.

You CANNOT use seduction techniques or affirming statements or any Don Juan "tactics" as a replacement for BASIC SOCIAL SKILLS. It's like trying to tune a car engine that doesn't have any pistons. You can DO it, but it's not going to make a difference.
 

check_mate_kid_uk

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i went to an all boys school, hardly new any girls and this ment that for the first 3 months on the site i had no practice, effectivly i was a keyboard jockey. it is only in the last 2 months that i have been at a mixed school that i have been progressing well as i have had girls to practice on.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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HornetAce

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Yeah, that sounds a lot like me as well. Too bad you're in Costa Rica, otherwise, we'd probably have a great time hanging out and exploring the deeper meanings behind our situations.
 

Iguana

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Nice link NoMoreMisterNiceGuy, here are my favorite parts:

Originally posted by disciple
If you want to improve your success in the area of women, then you have to develop a WINNING mentality that leads to success not just with women but in your life as a whole.
Originally posted by disciple
The best players and macks (the real ones) tend to not only be successful with women but they tend to be successful in other areas of their lives as well.

Why? Because success breeds success just as failure and frustration in one area of your life breed failure and frustration in other areas of your life.
Originally posted by disciple
If you wish to be great with women, then focus on becoming a great man overall. Become great in many areas of your life by following my example of a true king.
Pure GOLD.


Originally posted by HornetAce
Yeah, that sounds a lot like me as well. Too bad you're in Costa Rica, otherwise, we'd probably have a great time hanging out and exploring the deeper meanings behind our situations.
Yeah that's too bad, but if you have MSN Messenger maybe we can talk through that. Just add me, my email is [email protected].


Iguana
Peace & Metal
 

bonethugmug

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Another great post. Yeah, definitely been there before. Fortunately, I made it a point to start going out a lot more 2 weeks ago (After reading Senor Fingers WMS post) and man it's been SOOO fun. Hell, it all culminated with me and my best friend who's a helluva wing, getting invited by 3 girls to go the club. We went Saturday night and the social proof was off the hook because these girls are HB7.5-8.5 and it was so awesome. Another thing is, it helps to have girls that are FRIENDS because you get comfortable around women, and girls like guys that have a lot of girls around them. Plain and simple.
 

DJBen

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I realised how much of a keyboard master I was becoming recently too. So I went out, drove around with a mate and met close to 40 people over the last few days.

I'm going out thursday night, fri night, and on saturday I'm paintballing. I'm also loving this socialness. I've even got a date for weds [allbeit 1st date/second date practice ;)]

Now, if only I had more money to go out more often ;)
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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