Don't let society tell you what you want

[Alphathree]

I've been dating an absolutely gorgeous, beautiful, downright hot girl who also happens to be sweet, intellectual, and truthworthy.

Sure, she still tests just like all girls do, but once I got past that, man, what I found was really special. One in 500 or 1000, at least.

She was so pristine, I swear to you, I didn't even _want_ to have sex with her. I just wanted to make out, cuddle, and go for walks through the forest, you know?

But of course I wanted to tell all of my buddies how I banged this girl, so I prematurely tried to take of her shirt, to "bust the LMR" as I had done for so many meaningless girls in the past.

Now this girl was a virgin and didn't want sex before marriage. (I've posted about her before.)

Anyway, she broke up with me after I tried to get into her pants because she saw me as a player and said we didn't have the same long term interests.

I guess I have a little bit of a case of one-itis for this girl... but I've gotta tell you... it's a nice case of one-itis. After two years in the community feeling NOTHING (he who loves least controls the relationship), I love to be falling in love again.

There's nothing WRONG with the feeling. What's WRONG is when you let it control your life.

So don't think you have to get into every girl's pants. There are so many greater pursuits in life and in relationships than sticking your you-know-what in her special place. Really.

I think I'm going to seriously abstain from sex for a year just to remind myself of this fact and reassert my self control. I think I'll have a lot of fullfilling relationships, actually.

Society pressure to have sex be damned.

You know what stupid community BS went through my head? "If you don't sleep with her, you're operating under a scarcity mentality, you're settling for something less." Man, screw that. I was settling for what I WANTED! And that _IS_ scarce.

 

[Soprano]

but tha ***** just feels so good

 

[Alphathree]

Originally posted by Soprano
but tha ***** just feels so good

Whatever floats your boat. I'm not saying it doesn't feel good. I'm just saying you shouldn't let it blind you, that's all.

EDIT: I think I'm trying to say that all of us will spend most of our lives NOT having sex, if you count it minute by minute, hour by hour. Even when I'm living with a girlfriend and have sex maybe two or three times a day, I still spend most of the day NOT having sex.

So maximize that part of your life first, and the sex is just a bonus. It's a bonus to your relationships and to life, but it's at the heart of neither.

 

[Dr Box]

Good thread dude and so true..........but be warned not trying to take it to the next level can also be quite bad for the relationship as I posted on one of my threads earlier.

 

[Big Eee Zee]

i agree. i enjoy having sex with my gf as much as anyone, but i think the whole sitting on the couch in sweats watching tv thing is at least as good.

you dont have to get laid to be happy.

 

[The Cooler King]

wtf?!

You have to test drive the car before you buy it.

Thats what I think.

 

[everywomanshero]

MAJOR one-itis

Dude, you have HUGE one-i-tis issues! This is as bad as I've ever had it, if not worse. The fact that you're blaming YOURSELF because of HER issues is a huge warning sign that you're going over the edge. Whatever her problem, it is not your fault that she's the way she is. You simply need to find a better match. Abstaining from sex will only make you more needy and more likely to be dumped and less likely to meet quality women in the first place to even be dumped. Unless you change that mindset, you are getting ready to go on a downward spiral. I suggest some serious partying with buddies for the next week to avoid this trip.

Sorry things didn't work out, but I truly believe you'll be a better man for it. Not only that, you got a quality babe once, you'll do-it again. Only this time you'll find the personality of a non-frigid woman to compliment the looks.

 

[EquityPrivate]

I think I'm going to seriously abstain from sex for a year just to remind myself of this fact and reassert my self control. I think I'll have a lot of fullfilling relationships, actually.

How's that working for you?