Don't Let Game Become A Weapon

[High Voltage]

Until recently I've been having sex with two girls; one who I picked up for practice, the other a long-term friend whom I had a fairly severe case of oneitis for.

Practice girl is 39, and I'd give her a hotness rating of 6. Personality is crazy good as a long-term partner.

Friend girl is 24, and probably an 8. The hottest girl I've slept with. Due to a religious upbringing and the fact that my ex-girlfriend was good friends with her and introduced us I had to game her pretty hard to get her into bed.

I'd been thinking about dumping Practice for a week or two after 5 months together. After sleeping with Friend I decided to actually do it because I didn't want to cheat on Practice with Friend and vice versa.

Dumping Practice was honestly the hardest thing I've ever done emotionally. She never saw it coming. I tried to be gentle. Took me 2 hours. She was crying, sobbing, wouldn't let me go. Whispering to me "don't do this", etc. over and over and over. I couldn't stop myself from crying either. Told me I was the only normal guy that she had dated; that I made her a better person, said her life was only complete with me, that I made all her insecurities go away.

If I was 10 years older I would have stayed with Practice. She did everything for me, learned my hobbies so she could be with me, etc. Trouble is I wasn't sexually attracted to her. Had trouble getting hard. Climaxed maybe 50% of the time.

Now I've realized I've let game change from a defensive tactic to an offensive weapon. Before I followed the tenants of game to increase my attractiveness to girls (i.e. better shape, be interesting, pass tests, etc). Once you become a really great guy, leaving a girl is devastating for her. This is where game can unwittingly become a weapon. Indiscriminately getting girls interest in you so high that they are destroyed when you move on is no longer something I'm going to do. Seeing the fallout of this accidental tactic once is all it took.

Yes this is my conscience giving a warning. I think after all our rejections and constant quest to get sex we may forget that girls can be just as hurt by guys as what we constantly experience; guys getting hurt by girls.

I think from now on I'll ease off on the game substantially.

- HV

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yes. What we do has consequences. There are ALWAYS consequences.


Many times the difference between growth and stagnation in our progression as men depends on WHY we do what we do...and HOW often our choices are made to satisfy our personal codes of ethics as opposed to just our short-term physical satisfaction alone.

VU

 

[Stagger Lee]

I certainly respect that you have a conscience and I don't think it is good how people use others, but I wouldn't feel too bad. Girls dump guys out of the blue all the time and without any remorse or concern of the guy's feelings. This practice girl could've dumped you out of blue the next day if you hadn't dumped her first and she had met someone she thought was better. The friend could also dump you out the blue too without much concern for your feelings, then where would you be? I'm speaking hypothetically, but females do this totally out of the blue to guys all the time. I bet the practice girl you dumped has herself done the same to other guys more than once or twice.

 

[Knight's Cross]

HV,
She'll get over it. It's better you were a man about it and told her vs. just being a tool and going silent. Sure, she's hurt, your hurt that you're losing that, but you did right. I dated someone from 2009-2011. I did the same thing, told her it wasn't going to work, that we had to break up and go separate ways, yes she was hurt. Similar to you, I had lost sexual attraction to my ex. Great woman, but if you aren't wanting to hit it now, what would it be like in a year or 2, or married with kids, etc. You'd hate your life. It's better that you let her go to find a guy that does want to bang her, and she's happy with.
So in the end what I'm seeing is that you had heart enough to man up, stop a relationship and move on. A while from now she'll respect that. The age gap alone should have told her this was a long shot.
Good thread,
KC

 

[typical]

Until recently I've been having sex with two girls; one who I picked up for practice, the other a long-term friend whom I had a fairly severe case of oneitis for.

Practice girl is 39, and I'd give her a hotness rating of 6. Personality is crazy good as a long-term partner.

Friend girl is 24, and probably an 8. The hottest girl I've slept with. Due to a religious upbringing and the fact that my ex-girlfriend was good friends with her and introduced us I had to game her pretty hard to get her into bed.

I'd been thinking about dumping Practice for a week or two after 5 months together. After sleeping with Friend I decided to actually do it because I didn't want to cheat on Practice with Friend and vice versa.

Dumping Practice was honestly the hardest thing I've ever done emotionally. She never saw it coming. I tried to be gentle. Took me 2 hours. She was crying, sobbing, wouldn't let me go. Whispering to me "don't do this", etc. over and over and over. I couldn't stop myself from crying either. Told me I was the only normal guy that she had dated; that I made her a better person, said her life was only complete with me, that I made all her insecurities go away.

If I was 10 years older I would have stayed with Practice. She did everything for me, learned my hobbies so she could be with me, etc. Trouble is I wasn't sexually attracted to her. Had trouble getting hard. Climaxed maybe 50% of the time.

Now I've realized I've let game change from a defensive tactic to an offensive weapon. Before I followed the tenants of game to increase my attractiveness to girls (i.e. better shape, be interesting, pass tests, etc). Once you become a really great guy, leaving a girl is devastating for her. This is where game can unwittingly become a weapon. Indiscriminately getting girls interest in you so high that they are destroyed when you move on is no longer something I'm going to do. Seeing the fallout of this accidental tactic once is all it took.

Yes this is my conscience giving a warning. I think after all our rejections and constant quest to get sex we may forget that girls can be just as hurt by guys as what we constantly experience; guys getting hurt by girls.

I think from now on I'll ease off on the game substantially.

- HV

IMHO, your being a pansy mate, you as an adult spent time with both girls and have decided that one is more suited to your life and have discarded the one that is not.

The thing is in their eyes your the prize and because your leaving it hurts them. You as a person will always want and need a woman that fits your sexual nature, screw the hobbies the personality, screw it all. At the end of the day as a male you will always always choose the younger female, the urge to procreate with a young female is breed into you and has been this case since we evolved from apes.

Its natures way you can't fight it, so really you getting all caught up with dumping the old hag is nothing.

I would never ever ever date or sleep with a older woman it's just not appealing to me, doesn't matter if she's the best person in the world to me the age difference is way too much PLUS I would like to be able to have my own children one day and that can only be done with a woman thats in her prime for having children.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Letting go of a post-wall 39 y.o. HB6 is a recipe for disaster considering her much higher emotional investment in an effort to solidify a long term provisioner. Women just hitting the Wall are unstable enough, but women past the Wall who believe they're getting a second (last) chance at LTP, only to have their fantasy crushed, are a special kind of crazy.

Game isn't the reason she's flipping out - her reaction is rooted in her conditions. You'd be surprised how humble and accommodating post-wall women will be about things they'd never dream of tolerating when they were 24.

 

[azanon]

Letting go of a post-wall 39 y.o. HB6 is a recipe for disaster considering her much higher emotional investment in an effort to solidify a long term provisioner. Women just hitting the Wall are unstable enough, but women past the Wall who believe they're getting a second (last) chance at LTP, only to have their fantasy crushed, are a special kind of crazy.

Game isn't the reason she's flipping out - her reaction is rooted in her conditions. You'd be surprised how humble and accommodating post-wall women will be about things they'd never dream of tolerating when they were 24.

That's excellent stuff. OP, I hope this clears up why you saw what you did. (Agreeing with RT), not to say you have bad game, but she would have reacted that way anyway.

Trouble is I wasn't sexually attracted to her. Had trouble getting hard. Climaxed maybe 50% of the time.

One of two things is true. 1. You need to see a doctor and/or sex therapist or 2. You seriously need to raise your standards.

For a moment, I tried to imagine how repulsive a woman would have to be for me to be outright unable to climax, much less get hard. I admit, I had at least one or two no one will ever no about due to personal shame, but even with them, I could c**, meaning they weren't THAT bad.

 

[Poonani Maker]

Yeah, it is kinda sad to have a young gal I've fvcked recently text or call 5 or 6 times even 2 weeks after I rammed it home good in her, to fall on deaf ears, but they do it to Me (at least before I've fvcked them), so, fvck em.

 

[samspade]

You handled the dumping well. Women will always cry and beg if they're really into a guy. But she will get over it. It's not life or death - it's just a relationship, and eventually you let it go.

It's only logical that when you build your attractiveness, eventually you will have to break someone's heart. I'm sure she did the same to dozens of guys in her time. But don't worry about "hurting" girls - you made a decision based on sound principles and were upfront about it with her.

 

[squirrels]

Man, I prefix it now when I meet new women that, "I'm an *sshole and I'll break your heart". They never listen. But at least I did my due diligence.

 

[Knight's Cross]

Squirrels,
That's F-IN Priceless. That's why I come to the forum. For awesomeness like that. I'm going to copy that phrase and use. I've thought of similar lines, but nothing as succinct as your post.
Thanks Man,
KC

 

[st_99]

"Once you become a really great guy, leaving a girl is devastating for her."

Ummm, so you're saying that an undesirable "6" 39 yo who you can't even get a boner for, is your measuring stick on how great a guy you've become??? Lets see "friend" become devasted. Then we'll talk.

 

[KarmaSutra]

"I'm an *sshole and I'll break your heart".

This is the hook they'll kill each other to bite.

They want to know if you're a man of your word.

 

[Boilermaker]

"Once you become a really great guy, leaving a girl is devastating for her."

Ummm, so you're saying that an undesirable "6" 39 yo who you can't even get a boner for, is your measuring stick on how great a guy you've become??? Lets see "friend" become devasted. Then we'll talk.

Excellent !! :crackup:

OP, don't be delusional, dude, you haven't become the ultimate gamer just because you broke the heart of a 40-year-old 6!

Hahaha

 

[women haze]

"Once you become a really great guy, leaving a girl is devastating for her."

Ummm, so you're saying that an undesirable "6" 39 yo who you can't even get a boner for, is your measuring stick on how great a guy you've become??? Lets see "friend" become devasted. Then we'll talk.

That's the thing..he won't be able to. That's why Rollo hit the nail on the head. It could have been anybody and she would have reacted the same way. Human beings in this day and age are into self preservation over anybody else...

The clock was ticking for her and basically she became an AFC female....

Your friend that is hot the HB 8 i would like to see if you get her to fall head over heels in love with you. Not gonna happen son....we'll see

 

[Boilermaker]

RT hits the nail on every thread.

Say something new.

 

[High Voltage]

Knight's Cross: I thought the age gap would be a clue to her that I wasn't thinking long-term. I think this is where Rollo Tomassi's perspective comes in; she was trying very hard to secure a provider post-wall.

azanon: It requires more than a hot body for me to be attracted to a girl, even for a ONS. This may sound strange because in our society men have been conditioned to only require physical attractiveness to get off. If a girl isn't an interesting person it doesn't matter how hot she is, I won't be attracted to her. I don't tell my friends this because I really don't care to be labelled as a "freak". It's just another situation where I need to mask who I am to be accepted by our culture. The disadvantage of feeling this way is that it shrinks my 'dating' pool. The advantage is that it confuses girls who are 8+, making it that much easier to sleep with them if I care to try. I think Pook wrote an article about being desireless that ended up in the bible. It works for me.

- HV

 

[FrogWife]

Letting go of a post-wall 39 y.o. HB6 is a recipe for disaster considering her much higher emotional investment in an effort to solidify a long term provisioner. Women just hitting the Wall are unstable enough, but women past the Wall who believe they're getting a second (last) chance at LTP, only to have their fantasy crushed, are a special kind of crazy.

Game isn't the reason she's flipping out - her reaction is rooted in her conditions. You'd be surprised how humble and accommodating post-wall women will be about things they'd never dream of tolerating when they were 24.

For me (a woman) it was 100% the opposite. I put up with a lot more sh*t in my 20's than I would ever, ever, ever tolerate now that I've (apparently) "hit the wall" at the ripe old age of 40. In my teens and 20's, I was insecure and stupid. By the time most people have hit their 40's, they've grown out of that- you're more comfortable with who you are and you just don't tolerate nonsense.

 

[Boilermaker]

and that is the most repulsing type of women.

past the wall, and cranky, thinks she knows anything, even though she doesn't know sh!t, (the probability of you being an Ayn Rand is close to zero and therefore safely negligible), treats the men around her like sh!t because she had secured a business transaction 20 years ago which still serves her good.

Your ilk makes me sick, mom, and your brazen arrogance in regurgitating this triumphantly makes me want to vomit onto my keyboard right now.


iyk
:crackup:

 

[Andy_Dufresne]

Hey Voltage, you were 30 she was 39. Picture you 50 and her 59 (?)That's a big age gap, what did she expect?

She's a big girl, she will get over it. Just make sure that you are firm on your decision - going back to dip into the well is generally not a good idea.

Couple years ago I was trolling a cemetary where a lot of married couples were buried during the Civil War era. I would say on average the birth dates of the men were 7 years older than the women - and in a number of cases, about 10-20%, there was a 20+ years difference.