"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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dont know where I stand

Chromeo

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I been seein this girl, everything was going good. Went on a two day snowboarding trip for my bday. Came back to finals week at school so we were both pretty busy, but talkin regularing, sexting all that. Stayed at her place sat, shes a bartender she was lookin pretty tired at work, still pinchin my ass while i was there but I took her home and put her to bed. Since then shes been pretty much non interested in me.

Basically just dont know where I stand. She was callin me baby last week now this week im gettin no love. Do I just chill and back off, or ask what the deal is. I got other woman to see so do I just do me and let her come to me or what?

slightly concerned she saw me get a girls number at the bar while she was working, but I just made a comment about how the woman in her bar were crazy and she gave me her number....

anyway let me know what you guys think
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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starplayer

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Do I just chill and back off
^ Do this.


or ask what the deal is.
^ Don't do this.



If her interest is low then she has to come to you. If you ask her what's up you will never get a real answer, just some bullsh!t excuse. It will also make you look needy in her eyes.

There is an emotional reason for her behaviour so you deal with it on that level, i.e. withdrawing attention. Play it cool man.

The thing about the other girl's number was most likely just a bullsh!t excuse and NOT the cause of her recent behavour.
 

cordoncordon

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Chromeo said:
I been seein this girl, everything was going good. Went on a two day snowboarding trip for my bday. Came back to finals week at school so we were both pretty busy, but talkin regularing, sexting all that. Stayed at her place sat, shes a bartender she was lookin pretty tired at work, still pinchin my ass while i was there but I took her home and put her to bed. Since then shes been pretty much non interested in me.

Basically just dont know where I stand. She was callin me baby last week now this week im gettin no love. Do I just chill and back off, or ask what the deal is. I got other woman to see so do I just do me and let her come to me or what?

slightly concerned she saw me get a girls number at the bar while she was working, but I just made a comment about how the woman in her bar were crazy and she gave me her number....

anyway let me know what you guys think
Ummmm...this isnt rocket surgery. She saw you getting a number from another chick at the bar. Why is this so hard to understand? If you saw her talking to a guy and giving him her number....wouldn't you be pissed off? She has every reason to be angry.
 

Black Dog

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LOL bro it sounds like she is gaming you! She shows you love one week, then the next nothing and that makes your emotions go crazy....she's playing you for the female, so don't take that sh*t! Just keep it cool, back off....DONT bring the subject up of her acting weird....
 

Chromeo

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It is possible she didnt see me get the girls number. I feel like she would have said something if she did, and really would she just cut it off just like that? I mean I thought everything was AG when I left her place sunday morning. Ive been tryin to keep it light cuz i know she broke up with her last guy just before me cuz he was bein a AFC wuss bag. She told me she wanted to be single and have fun, but I think that was just girl code for "my ex was an overbearing whiny *****; i dont want that". So thats why I know I should back off here and let her come to me.

And she was coming to me until this week, so is she really turned off by that phone number? she has asked me if I was a man *****...
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Chromeo

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cordoncordon said:
Ummmm...this isnt rocket surgery. She saw you getting a number from another chick at the bar. Why is this so hard to understand? If you saw her talking to a guy and giving him her number....wouldn't you be pissed off? She has every reason to be angry.
If she is pissed off about that, I would want to say something about it. I was really just practicing my game, I was drunk, didnt mean nothin by it. Shouldnt she be more attracted? thought chicks love *******s hahaaha
 

WaterTiger

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So you go to where she WORKS and get a chick's number. She might not have seen you, but her co-workers might! And you can bet they ran right to her and told her.

This could have pissed her off and made her think you're a player and just out for the poon & nothing else.
 

Black Dog

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Chromeo said:
She told me she wanted to be single and have fun, but I think that was just girl code for "my ex was an overbearing whiny *****; i dont want that". So thats why I know I should back off here and let her come to me. .
Yea that definately sounds like the right translation
 

Chromeo

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WaterTiger said:
So you go to where she WORKS and get a chick's number. She might not have seen you, but her co-workers might! And you can bet they ran right to her and told her.

This could have pissed her off and made her think you're a player and just out for the poon & nothing else.

Very true. I mean I was just having fun gettin that girls number. Stupid sure, we guys are. But back to the question here, how do I right the ship?
 

Kailex

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First of all, she's a bartender.

Second of all, she's a bartender.

Third... you got laid.

Fourth, she's a bartender.

Fifth, she's probably going to screw someone else.

Sixth, she's a bartender.

Seventh, if she's interested, she'll come to you. Stop going to the bar where she works at.

Eighth, she's a bartender.

Ninth, DON'T CONFRONT HER.

Tenth, she's a bartender.

Have you gotten the point by now?

You CAN'T right this ship. The ship right now has a stalled engine and the only thing that can bring the ship to you is the current... so let the ship go with the flow.

BTW, did I mention she's a bartender?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Chromeo

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Got ya. Ya just needed the second opinion, thats what this place is all about. Helpin Bros out, no homo.

And ya shes a bartender, but wasnt when I met her, and did not meet her in a bar. Whats your beef with bartenders tho? I mean besides any of the obvious like working nights, drinking/partying, and meeting a lot of people?

I mean im a dj so im out late at bars a lot too drinking and meeting a lot of people. If you got someone on your mind, that stuff doesnt make any difference.
 

Kailex

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Chromeo, I used to be a VIP bartender.
And with me, for 2 years... was a female bartender.

For 2 years I saw how she played the patrons at the bar, sometimes even without sex.

They get hit on ALL the time, and some get laid all the time.
The rules seem to somewhat change when dealing with a female bartender. You think women get enough attention as is already?

Yeah, multiply that by 10 when they are female bartenders.

I usually would tell guys to definitely try not to fall for a female bartender. It'll definite put your jealousy to the test to ends you will not even begin to comprehend.

I get that you are a male DJ, but you will never get being a female bartender.

I don't have anything against them... I'm just saying... don't get attached to her. Probably one of the worst professions for a oneitis... (even though I know you say you are spinning plates, it can still happen).

And if she just recently started as a bartender, give her a few weeks...
She'll probably be too busy to talk to you until her shift is over anyways.

So like I said before... it's not that her being a bartender is bad... it's just that you shouldn't get too attached.
 

starplayer

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My AFC friend recently got into a relationship with a girl who works as a bartender. He seems to be serious about her too and thinks she's a keeper.

I was worried about him before because girls sh!t on him a lot, but after what you just said I'm sure he's gonna get burned. Nothing I say will make him change his nice guy beliefs, so I guess he's gotta learn his lesson the hard way.
 

Chromeo

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ya, no I totally get that kailex. And thats why Ima do me and if she comes around then ill decide if i want to see her again. Cuz your right, I will get tired of only being able to see her after midnight or 2am and noon-5... cuz I got **** to do.
 

Chromeo

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starplayer said:
My AFC friend recently got into a relationship with a girl who works as a bartender. He seems to be serious about her too and thinks she's a keeper.

I was worried about him before because girls sh!t on him a lot, but after what you just said I'm sure he's gonna get burned. Nothing I say will make him change his nice guy beliefs, so I guess he's gotta learn his lesson the hard way.
Depends on the girl, but most likely. Just dont let him go sit at the bar and watch her work. Only keepers are the ones you dont have to keep. Catch a frog and hold it, its gonna squirm, but he will be alright just chillen on your open palm.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Chromeo

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was reading squirles post... everyone should read this
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=134995

Definitely failed the active test with this broad. I was in, last week I was "baby". what did I do, respond to her texts, called her baby back, was over eager to hang out with her, tried to make plans three days in a row. Met her at work a couple times while she was bartending. Then what do I do, get another girls number in front of her. Turned into an AFC and then broke her trust. Fully expecting our goodbye kiss sunday to be THE goodbye kiss.

then against all your guys advice and even my own knowledge, (all my friends said, "just ask her what the deal is") I ask her whats up? you mad or something?

her: no, what do you mean

me: good, thought you were avoiding me or something

her: o no

me: haha aight shorty, get back to work, ill talk to you later.

wont be talking to her for a while.

Meanwhile, the girl I have hardly given attention to for the past three weeks just got out of the shower and wants me to dry her off...

DONT FAIL THE ACTIVE TEST
 
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