"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Dont Know What To Say To This

MystLk

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This Is Straight From http://www.cavalierdaily.com/CVArticle.asp?ID=24057&pid=1324

tell me what you think.

"Are you: 1) Routinely labeled a nice guy?

2) The kind of guy who has actually gotten coffee with a female friend just because she was mad about something?

3) The kind of guy who actually loves what he does academically?

4) The kind of guy who believes he can make a small, significant difference in the world?

5) Able to talk to any girl you just met for hours, but completely unable to have a first date set up by the end of your conversation?

6) Someone who has more majors than girls' phone numbers?


If you fit the above criteria and are hitting your third or fourth years, you are probably starting to notice something odd. Girls are asking you out. It seems after two to three years of walking home empty-handed after four-hour parties, you suddenly have a few phone numbers written on your hand. Let me point out what you already may have noticed: The phone numbers you are getting are not from run-of-the-mill women, but are some of the most attractive women that U.Va. has to offer. Why did this happen all of a sudden? What happened to, "I'm sorry, I think of you as a friend," or the classic, "You're just too nice"? Let's examine the women that would recite these statements:


Originally, it was likely that either one of the following was true about the women you got rejected by:

1) They didn't care about your potential.

2) They didn't care about your potential.


This subgroup of women often will give the responses listed below when told they don't care about potential:

"It's not that I don't care about you, I just don't know what I want right now."

After 18 years of her life she couldn't figure out what she wants? I have a 5-year-old cousin who knows that she doesn't like it when boys are mean to her teacher. Any woman who doesn't know what she wants by the time she is 18 to 20 years old should seriously concern any nice guy out there. Were her parents MIA? What happened?


"We really are good for each other, but I just don't want a long-term relationship."

Literally translated this response says, "You make me so happy, but I don't want anyone that will make my heart skip a beat/sweep me off my feet." She actually knows what she wants, finds it, and then rejects it?! That's like saying you don't want to buy your dream car because it prevents you from buying another car. However, the exception to this rule is that sometimes you may meet a girl when her best friend/parent/someone important dies. They are much too emotionally drained to worry about a new budding relationship. Sorry, I just don't know what to tell you in that case. Both of us know that when things like that happen, relationships rarely work out. Not that it stops us from holding out for her and helping her feel better.


My Personal Favorite:

"I just want to get all the wildness out of my system and go crazy for a few years."

This is said by a woman that actually decides to go on a date with a nice guy and by date number two is shocked and scared by how content she is. This same girl believes that the best days in her life are in college and anything after is just boring and monotonous. You're fighting for a future you can be happy with, and she lives her life right now so she can spend the rest of her life envying this small sliver of it. That's so depressing I can't even make a bad joke out of it.

So what do you do with the ridiculously attractive girls who would have rejected you a few years ago? You fight back. Turn them down. That's right. Turn them down. You'll just have to trust me on this one. Plenty more will come. We need to tell these women that we will not put up with their bullsh*t. We are men. We are good guys. We only want great girls.

I promise you, as a fellow nice guy, there are tons of intelligent, self-respecting and ridiculously attractive women out there. We care about our lives and we will only date women that have always cared about their own lives. So, I say if she can't keep up with you when you are discussing the politics of Darfur, dump her. If she doesn't know the difference between an electron cloud and a nucleus, dump her. Or, if she doesn't know the subjunctive tense from the present tense, dump her. If she ever would have turned you down for a party boy, alpha male, dump her. She's not worth it.

Ninety percent of your happiness in life is dependent on the person with whom you end up. Like I said, there are plenty of sensible, genius, and, well, hot women who walk the face of this earth. Don't waste one date, one Valentine's Day, or worse, your entire life, with one who doesn't deserve you. Being a "nice guy" is not a shortcoming that requires you lower your standards and enable the following generations of women to "snap up" the nice guys when it is convenient for them. If you think it is, you are hurting all the nice guys who came before you, all of the nice guys who will come after you and worst of all, you are hurting yourself."
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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jayneumann

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No. Wrong.

He can honestly ask girls who their dream man is. Is it a nice guy? They may eventually resign to one, but their hearts are forever after their knight. Not some nice guy.

Intelligence and knowledge is one thing, but so is personality. How many women can score a "10/10" simultaneously for all these categories:

- Looks
- Intelligence
- Knowledge
- Personality
- Character
- Health

How about averaging 9/10? 8/10? Not many at all. We are deluding ourselves when we figure that there are plenty of women with all those characteristics. Thus, the few who have even 8/10 average for all of those categories are also smart enough to want the prize, because they themselves are the prize.

He is not the prize, because he is merely a nice guy (granted, nice guys are pretty good, but when did you ever settle for "pretty good?"), not her knight to carry her away with. There are plenty of nice guys out there. We might as well find a nice girl, but how many of us are truly, honestly, satisfied with just a "nice" one?

I would like to say to him: Sir, I do not believe that you understand half of the picture. I have not seen much of it either, but I did peek at the box cover and know how the puzzle should look like.

Life, relationships -- they are all games. You are advocating strategies that have absolutely no grounding in reality. Reality is about getting hurt and learning lessons. Reality is about living life and turning dreams into reality. It is not about living a dream.
 

Big Eee Zee

Master Don Juan
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"I just want to get all the wildness out of my system and go crazy for a few years."

This is said by a woman that actually decides to go on a date with a nice guy and by date number two is shocked and scared by how content she is. This same girl believes that the best days in her life are in college and anything after is just boring and monotonous. You're fighting for a future you can be happy with, and she lives her life right now so she can spend the rest of her life envying this small sliver of it. That's so depressing I can't even make a bad joke out of it.


Damn good point. I hate this most about women, how they feel they need to go out and slvt themselves around in college every night, or else they feel like they failed somehow. well put.

And if you don't agree with me, burn in hell. :)
 

Austizzle

Don Juan
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It's true i'm through with 2 1/2 years of college right now and all I can say is that when you actually get your prerequisites out of the way and you're finally taking a class in your major, girls notice something in you.

They see that you're doing something that you are interested in. You're not like all of the other guys who are just there to party and pick up chicks.

If you just keep yourself busy, do well academically...it will all come sooner or later. Patience is a virtue.
 

spider_007

Master Don Juan
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ontario
THIS SH1T MAKES ME SOOOOOOOOOOOOO FVCKING MADDDD!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!:cuss: :box: :cuss: :trouble:

First of all, not all nice guys are NERDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Second of all, I'm nobodys second choice. I rather stay a virgin for the rest of my life then be somebods second choice.

and third of all, if she thinks she can go "slut out" and get her self pregnet and expects me to care for another mans child she better think twice.


ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh thanx for taking a dump on my day:box:
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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