"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

don't know what to make of her lack of initiative

self-respect

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 25, 2012
Messages
59
Reaction score
5
I've been seeing this 22 yo HB8 for the past few weeks and the dates have been great. I've been choosing fun places and activities, I'm maintaining my frame, keeping her laughing throughout and I always physically escalate to the point where we're sexual by the end of the night (verbal escalation and being sensual through words is something I haven't developed yet so I work with what I have). She's also told me she's had a lot of fun whenever we've been out, whether it's something we're doing or the way I'm teasing her.

What's confusing me is how I have to initiate almost all of the contact. She's very open to me advancing and has made it clear through her actions that she wants me to, but she won't make any moves herself. I'm the person who calls to meet up (she did call and ask me out once), I'm the one who starts touching her when we're together, I'm the one who decides what to do next and where to go (she always agrees), and she doesn't even text me that much compared to girls I've been with before. Basically it feels like I'm the one grabbing her by the hand and taking her on a ride.

Have you guys come across this before when you're controlling the frame and she's possibly a submissive type? Do I have to stimulate her more by being direct and upfront with my words? And could this be related to a couple nights of bad sex due to my anxiety (eating her out and BJs have been good)? There's the feeling of distance when I would expect her to be chasing by this point.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Von_S

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 9, 2009
Messages
175
Reaction score
2
I've got a 23 year old plate (we're actually going out tonight) and she's kinda the same way. I think for some girls its just kind of who they are. We do stuff, but it's always me thats putting it together, she'll throw a "hey how's your day" text here and there and I'll kinda spark the conversation a little bit and I'll set up a date. I tried an experiment where I didn't initiate the date and the txt conversation died off; after this happened a few times she hit me up with "Are we just not going to see each other any more?" or something with a little attitude. I worked it out with her and things are cool now but I think she just kinda likes being somewhat submissive. The question is how far does it go? Tonight I'm going to try and figure out her deal and really gage her IL.

One thing to keep in mind OP is:

1) If a chick doesn't want to be around you she'll blow you off quite easily, especially if things are getting sexual.

2) A chick that wants to fvck you may not jump your bones, but may just make herself available for you to take control.
 

self-respect

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 25, 2012
Messages
59
Reaction score
5
I'd agree with that and her IL is high in real life, it's just not something I've come across before.
 

EvilAgenda

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 10, 2009
Messages
372
Reaction score
21
I sense lack of a proper self-esteem in this girl. Initiating all the time, every time can and will get tiring. Here is what you really should consider:

A girl like this will give you headaches trying to figure her out. I prefer my girl to speak up and tell me what's on her mind so I don't have to guess all the time.

The most important thing, however, is, whether or not you are happy and enjoy spending your time with her.
 

Krueg

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 6, 2012
Messages
1,278
Reaction score
134
Age
37
Women are suppose to be submissive, Men are the aggressors. It's thenatural order of things. If she's still accepting your dates and giving you sex then have fun with her. Its the slvts that do the initiating.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

Top