Hello all. So I started working in a bar about a month ago, and on the weekends this one chick usually comes in and has a drink and leaves. A few weeks ago she was really into me but I didn't really get to talk to her much do to work. The next week she came in and I got off work early so we had a few drinks together and had fun. Near the end of the night she asked for my number and told me she had to go, and might not be in as much due to school starting. She hasn't gotten in touch with me since, and I don't want too much time to pass before we see each other again. I really want to get in touch with her and set up an actual date, but afraid if I add her on facebook and message her I will come off as a creep. Help would be appreciated as I haven't dated since high school.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Don't know what I'm doing
- Thread starter Kleenhanz
- Start date
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Well she asked for your number, but you didn't get her's? That's a classic flaw right there because she is in full control of the social dynamic. Instead what I like to do is exchange numbers right then and there and save each other as something clever in each phone...maybe I'll be Matt Kickboxer or Matt Skydiver and the chick will be Katie Italy...I like to use the last name as a little reminder of something we talked about so I can call her up, relate back to that and get her out with me again. Don't focus too much on this one girl, you are a bartender and have the option to interact with hoards of quality women on any given night
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
If she asked for your number, then I think you're fine to track her down on facebook. The only reason she wouldn't want to add you is if her page lists her as being in a relationship.
But if a woman likes you already, as this one does, you can do pretty much anything to pursue her; she wants that to happen. Another guy she doesn't like might do the exact same things as you and be labelled a creepy weirdo. Either way, she had her mind made up already, so either guy's specific tactics does not matter very much.
But if a woman likes you already, as this one does, you can do pretty much anything to pursue her; she wants that to happen. Another guy she doesn't like might do the exact same things as you and be labelled a creepy weirdo. Either way, she had her mind made up already, so either guy's specific tactics does not matter very much.
oneboy21
Senior Don Juan
She must be in a break up situation with a guy, so she might be finishing it.
or she just plain playing games
Wait until she responds like a week or so
Than move on to next girl.
WHen you see her next time in your bar after this act normal like nothing happened.
or she just plain playing games
Wait until she responds like a week or so
Than move on to next girl.
WHen you see her next time in your bar after this act normal like nothing happened.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.