Don't Just Look Good On Paper

[I_Only_Live_Once]

Paper tiger: "literal English translation of a Chinese phrase meaning something which seems as threatening as a tiger, but is really harmless. The common usage is synonymous with the adjective toothless, meaning ineffective."

Paper champion: variation of the above term, where an athelete has a belt saying they are a champion but is not recognized as the champ.

I observed people around me lately. I've looked at them in real life, I've even gone on webpages to understand what the difference is between a guy who gets a hb and one who struggles. In most cases, you cannot tell by what they wear or look like. Yes, the successful guys are usually decently dressed, but I also see lots of unsuccessful guys who are well dressed and provide zero results for them. There are average looking guys with hbs and there are average looking guys without. So what was the difference?

For the most part, what I noticed was that the guys who get the girls carry themselves differently. They usually have 3 things that are different:

1) Confidence in themselves. They believe they are great, but not arrogant about it. You can tell by the way they walk and the way they talk. Females are attracted to this in a similar way that guys are attracted to looks. Having this confidence will naturally show you that no one is better than anyone else. You do not put any girl higher than you, thus you will be really comfortable talking to chicks, and you realize there are so many girls out there so you don't care what one thinks of you.

2) They provide a girl with a sense of security. This is something this website doesn't talk much about but when a girl wants a bf, she wants someone who makes her feel safe. This is probably why nice guys don't attract women, through biological instincts from evolution, she feels that they wouldn't be able to protect her. A girl who is with a guy she likes will often say that when the guy is holding her in his arms, she feels like nothing in the world can go wrong. So in order to give her this sense of security, it starts out with having confidence and it branches out to having assertiveness, ambition, and a bit of an edge (being slightly aggressive, not caring if they are judged by others)

3) They enjoy themselves. They are having a good time and enjoy interacting with people. If you are fun, everyone wants to hang out with you. This is also what I call social confidence because if you believe in yourself and enjoy life, chances are you will vibe well with others. You begin to understand the social world, and naturally won't be awkard in any situation. Do you remember when you were a kid and you had no clue of social interactions? Adults would probably purposely talk really slow to you and simplify their words, and you didn't even know they were doing it. Because you were naive. When you have experience talking with people, you will have the opposite--social awareness. When you build confidence, and start enjoying interactions, you will open your eyes to what is going on and girls will look up to you.

 

[happymeal88]

This is a really solid post, I agree with everything you say here.

Nice job.

 

[GuitarOnFire]

Good post. Confidence is probably the key to being a DJ. With confidence comes self-control and charm eventually.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Good information, good presentation, short and concise. Good job!

 

[Duke]

Great post. I'm especially glad you mentioned "sense of security." It's true man. This also means showing some of your real self and not ducking and dodging every inquiry about your life with CF. She has to see you as a whole person, who has a life, friends, a sense of self, and a solid foundation.

Basically, you want to convey that your identity is solid and you can adapt to any situation.

The confidence is a given, but often glossed over recently.

"They Enjoy Themselves" is very important. It shows that you know how to have a good time and how to lead others into having a good time. Instantly attractive qualities. Oh yeah, and a guy who doesn't look like he's enjoying himself probably isn't getting laid or doesn't have much to offer in terms of what a woman is looking for.