crazysheep4
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2004
- Messages
- 27
- Reaction score
- 0
Hmm.. where to start
I suppose I should say this first, and I know that its been said before but I feel like saying it again. Never get too anxious at all costs. This is a lesson that I'm somewhat learning right now. This goes especially for the guys who either havn't had many girlfriends or who don't get much attention from girls in the first place.
I know its somewhat hard to get a gf in the first place, and I know that it gets old and then when you get the attention or the girlfriend, all those past feelings of anxiety are released.
You want to hold on to it and you want to make sure that it never goes away and so you give her too much attention and talk to her too much (you might not think this a problem, but it can be). You assume that if you give her attention she will automatically want to stay with you, and this is completley wrong. You have to make sure that you dont fall into this trap.
Its easy to say to yourself "hey this girl might like me, so I should give her attention, protect her, and make sure that she never wants to leave, I cant let her leave me, otherwise I'll be miserable again."
You have to ignore this voice and say to yourself "hey, if I want to keep her, i should lay off a little bit. And by this I dont mean ignore her for a week and see what happens, I just mean dont talk as often (dont send txt messages first in my case, lol) make her talk to you, but dont seem like an ass who doesnt want to talk.
Now for my story as it goes with the above.
Theres this girl from my work, and we recently started talking. I like her, and my friend decided to ask her if she liked me or would go out with me. She said she would but she wanted to get to know me first. I thought great, well lets just talk to her nonstop and make sure she gets to know me. So thats what I did. I was always the one to start the conversation and sometimes it seemed like I was trying too hard to make it keep going. This is the wrong approach in my opinion. I realized this tonight, and so I'm gonna try something for the next couple days and see how it works.
The plan is to not start any convos and jus wait until she does. When she does start the it, I'll talk like its just any normal day, but I dont start them. The goal is to hopefully not seem too clingy but still interested. I guess we will see how it works.
By the way, give me feedback on my plan, the good and the bad.
Thanks
I suppose I should say this first, and I know that its been said before but I feel like saying it again. Never get too anxious at all costs. This is a lesson that I'm somewhat learning right now. This goes especially for the guys who either havn't had many girlfriends or who don't get much attention from girls in the first place.
I know its somewhat hard to get a gf in the first place, and I know that it gets old and then when you get the attention or the girlfriend, all those past feelings of anxiety are released.
You want to hold on to it and you want to make sure that it never goes away and so you give her too much attention and talk to her too much (you might not think this a problem, but it can be). You assume that if you give her attention she will automatically want to stay with you, and this is completley wrong. You have to make sure that you dont fall into this trap.
Its easy to say to yourself "hey this girl might like me, so I should give her attention, protect her, and make sure that she never wants to leave, I cant let her leave me, otherwise I'll be miserable again."
You have to ignore this voice and say to yourself "hey, if I want to keep her, i should lay off a little bit. And by this I dont mean ignore her for a week and see what happens, I just mean dont talk as often (dont send txt messages first in my case, lol) make her talk to you, but dont seem like an ass who doesnt want to talk.
Now for my story as it goes with the above.
Theres this girl from my work, and we recently started talking. I like her, and my friend decided to ask her if she liked me or would go out with me. She said she would but she wanted to get to know me first. I thought great, well lets just talk to her nonstop and make sure she gets to know me. So thats what I did. I was always the one to start the conversation and sometimes it seemed like I was trying too hard to make it keep going. This is the wrong approach in my opinion. I realized this tonight, and so I'm gonna try something for the next couple days and see how it works.
The plan is to not start any convos and jus wait until she does. When she does start the it, I'll talk like its just any normal day, but I dont start them. The goal is to hopefully not seem too clingy but still interested. I guess we will see how it works.
By the way, give me feedback on my plan, the good and the bad.
Thanks
