Don't feel like having a girlfriend

[Huffman]

I feel like I'm not ready to have a girlfriend. I just wouldn't know what to do with her.

I'm kind of a loner and many things I enjoy are activities best done alone. Like cycling, martial arts, playing the piano, stuff on the computer. But now I feel like I have no place for a girl in my life. I mean, what would I do with her? Outside of sex, that is. Even going on a date seems so unnatural to me, since it usually involves going to places I wouldn't normally go.

I would always think of where to take a girl on a date. But often I can't think of anything. I seem to hate so many things it's really hard to think of a date that I would actually enjoy. I have stopped asking girls out because of this.
I see other couples sticking together all the time. Going here and there together, sitting together at home, hanging out together. I could never do this, it feels so unnatural to me. I tried it with girlfriends in the past. I was forcing myself and felt very uncomfortable doing it. Needless to say, the relationships were short-lived.

For me, being a loner is not a bad thing. I can be very charming if I feel like it, but I don't stick around people much. After much experimentation this seems to be the only way I can really be myself. I get signs from pretty girls every now and then, but I have stopped acting on it. Cos what's the point?

But still, in the back of my mind, I feel like I'm missing out on something.
And it DRIVES ME CRAZY!

.

I just realized that these thoughts are only statements. I actually have no question to ask you guys. As always, I like to hear your thoughts, but I'm probably going to take some time off.

 

[PeeGee]

Excuses.

Go for a more introverted and less outgoing girl. They exist.

 

[Allurre]

You sound like you need a major shift in behavior.

Your problem is being too 'used' to be single, left to yourself, and being independent. Perhaps you should find a woman who shares similar interest, so you both participate in the same activities together.

Start changing your behavior slowly, and adopt a more sociable approach and eventually it'll become your new reality.

 

[Energizer]

Excuses.

Go for a more introverted and less outgoing girl. They exist.

They are usually boring and have serious issues from my experience. Though that is one option for the OP.

 

[MisterMcGee]

The extroverted hot partygirl types are usually the 'boring' ones with no hobbies or ambitions. They've got no time for that crap.
Introverted girls, or at least girls without an exploding social network and so forth, are usually more interesting.

 

[TheGameMaster]

I am the same as you. Well, I have avoidant personality disorder. You should read up on it, you might (might) have it. When you start viewing your behavious as a disorder, it helps to change things. I love spending time on my own, but too much of it leads to depression. I was working and then spending every night at home, and that includes weekends. Its not healthy. I am trying to break my comfort zone more. Going out when I'd usually not, making abit more effort with people. It pays off and soon feels abit more natural. It's not a bad thing being an introvert, you know. Women get so curious. They can't work you out and it makes them want you more, in my experience.
So if I were you (sounds like were similarly minded) then I'd stick to the idea of not having a girlfriend (there's no law against staying single) and just chat to girls that you know for now. And make note that, if you have them, your feelings of wanting to withdraw are not necessarily helpful, and should maybe be resisted.

Peace out and good luck

 

[NewGuy72]

I agree with Allure, it's because your used to being single. I'm the same way, I haven't been in a LTR in a couple years. I like to be single, to be able to do whatever I want with whoever I want. But I still go out and have fun with various girls (right now I'm seeing 3 girls very casually). I might be ready for another LTR when my life isn't as crazy busy but that's not for a bit.

If you enjoy your life don't force yourself to do something you don't want to do just to have a girlfriend.

 

[Captain]

You know you can date and have sex with women without them being your "girlfriend".

 

[Paintballguy]

You know you can date and have sex with women without them being your "girlfriend".

Even if they are your "girlfriend', its not like being married. Your still single. But yeah, I dated/fvcked my current girlfriend close to two months before being "boyfriend/girlfriend".

 

[hamilton]

Don't take girls on "dates", ask them to do something w/ you that you were already going to do already. You can go cycling w/ them, play music together, go to a martial arts class, etc. If they don't want to, their problem.

 

[Scars]

I feel like I'm not ready to have a girlfriend. I just wouldn't know what to do with her.

If you're not ready then simply don't have one. I can't ever see myself having a girlfriend, at least not for a very long time. I'm at that point in my life where I'm starting to see woman for what they really are. I don't want to start an argument, however I will say that it's entirely pointless trying to settle down at my age with girls my age. This is our prime, the time to have fun and sleep with many.

I'm kind of a loner and many things I enjoy are activities best done alone. Like cycling, martial arts, playing the piano, stuff on the computer. But now I feel like I have no place for a girl in my life. I mean, what would I do with her? Outside of sex, that is. Even going on a date seems so unnatural to me, since it usually involves going to places I wouldn't normally go.

Don't call yourself a loner, you're starting to make yourself sound pathetic. Surely a man with so many hobbies must have at least a few friends. How the hell do you do martial arts WITHOUT human interaction? And even so, it doesn't always have to be that way. You can CHANGE that if you want to.

And you're right. If you don't see any point to having a woman other than sex than you shouldn't be having a girlfriend. Why don't you just date many woman at the same time having sex with all of them?

Solution: Plate theory. Have sex with many girls, and never get attached because as soon as one gives you some bs you're already balls deep in another.

I would always think of where to take a girl on a date. But often I can't think of anything. I seem to hate so many things it's really hard to think of a date that I would actually enjoy. I have stopped asking girls out because of this.
I see other couples sticking together all the time. Going here and there together, sitting together at home, hanging out together. I could never do this, it feels so unnatural to me. I tried it with girlfriends in the past. I was forcing myself and felt very uncomfortable doing it. Needless to say, the relationships were short-lived.

That's just societal programming for you. A perfect example of what we "all want" and what we "all need". Do what you want.

For me, being a loner is not a bad thing. I can be very charming if I feel like it, but I don't stick around people much. After much experimentation this seems to be the only way I can really be myself. I get signs from pretty girls every now and then, but I have stopped acting on it. Cos what's the point?

Are you crazy? Not every girl wants to date you. A lot of girls are open to purely sexual relationships too. The point being, you're missing out. All these girls giving you "signs" you should be dating. That doesn't mean they have to be your girlfriend.

But still, in the back of my mind, I feel like I'm missing out on something.
And it DRIVES ME CRAZY!

You're missing out on pvssy.

I just realized that these thoughts are only statements. I actually have no question to ask you guys. As always, I like to hear your thoughts, but I'm probably going to take some time off.

Sounds to me like you just miss the satisfaction of being in a relationship, but at the end of the day I don't really think you want it. Maybe you're afraid. There's no need to be afraid though you just got to open your eyes a little. I guess my advice to you is date around, and sleep around until you find a girl that makes you WANT to put in the effort of being in a relationship. I'm pretty sure that's what the majority of the guys here do.