Don't feel like bothering...help change my mind

[Arts]

Alright so I've been kind of down these couple of weeks. School and everything just sucks out the energy in me. When I have any free time (which I have plenty enough) I just do nothing but sit here and surf the web. There is so much that I could be doing but I'm just not doing any of that.

The biggest of my concern is my schoolwork. I don't know why I stress out so much about it. I'm not having as much difficulty as my other classmates, yet I'm still always stressed and can't relax. But not only that, every day I get this perceived feeling of negativity from other people. My classmates and my teachers. I don't feel like they give a damn. To be honest, I never talk to anyone at school. I could, but I don't bother. I don't have anyone to have a good time with.

From my past experiences, being around people never satisfies me. It doesn't do a thing to solve my existential crises. I'm either under anxiety around people, with every moment trying to get them to approve of me, or if I'm not, I'm completely bored with them and would rather be at home alone. Why is that? Do being around with people satisfy you guys? I don't know if it does for me. I don't see myself hanging around a bunch of friends and being okay with everything anytime in the future.

But anyway, two things that have been bothering me in the past. I'm not purposely being weak or anything, but two times I have broken down in the middle of class. I won't explain much detail, but sometimes it just gets too much for me and I can't contain all this crap. It just happens when I find that someone is giving me ****. Whenever someone does something as a sign "I don't ****ing approve of you" or something. It just bothers me so f**king much.

Today, for example, I was walking in the hallway (after the late bell rang) and I was thinking of some crap that happened briefly ago. At that moment, everything just sucked and I just kicked the ****ing wall as hard as I could. At that moment, a black group was walking and saw me. One of the girls made out a loud as hell burst of surprised laughter that actually hurt my ears. Then they made a bunch of comments like "Haha did chu see that stupid ******* kid? he wuz so stopid!" and all that ****. I looked back and one of them mockingly said "WHA CHU SAY?"
God, ****ing ******s. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to put up with their bull****. So yeah, screw my day.

Basically, I'm just asking for a reason to go on. I don't really know if anything I think of will change anything, so I need someone with more experience to come up with something. Right now I don't feel like doing anything because of all this **** in my life and I don't feel like I could ever be okay with anything. I don't see anything for me in the future to look forward to. I don't see the point of any of these goals that I have. I don't want any friends, I don't want any more work. I'm just sick of life. How do I get out of this?

 

[eaglez1177]

Alright so I've been kind of down these couple of weeks. School and everything just sucks out the energy in me. When I have any free time (which I have plenty enough) I just do nothing but sit here and surf the web. There is so much that I could be doing but I'm just not doing any of that.

The biggest of my concern is my schoolwork. I don't know why I stress out so much about it. I'm not having as much difficulty as my other classmates, yet I'm still always stressed and can't relax. But not only that, every day I get this perceived feeling of negativity from other people. My classmates and my teachers. I don't feel like they give a damn. To be honest, I never talk to anyone at school. I could, but I don't bother.Your problem is right here. How can you expect people to give a damn and have a good time with you when you never talk to anyone and don't bother? I don't have anyone to have a good time with.

From my past experiences, being around people never satisfies me. It doesn't do a thing to solve my existential crises. I'm either under anxiety around people, with every moment trying to get them to approve of mebe your own man, and dont let the opinions/beliefs of others influence who you are, what you do, what you think, and how you feel, or if I'm not, I'm completely bored with them and would rather be at home alone. Why is that? Do being around with people satisfy you guys? I don't know if it does for me. I don't see myself hanging around a bunch of friends and being okay with everything anytime in the future.

But anyway, two things that have been bothering me in the past. I'm not purposely being weak or anything, but two times I have broken down in the middle of class. I won't explain much detail, but sometimes it just gets too much for me and I can't contain all this crap. It just happens when I find that someone is giving me ****. Whenever someone does something as a sign "I don't ****ing approve of you" or something. It just bothers me so f**king much.So you break down in class like a weak fvcking girl? GIRLS do that sh*t bro. NOT men. Grow a pair, be a man, and move on from people teasing you. Teasing is soo stupid and immature, and your an immature person if you let it get to you like you described. Not only that, but the more you react to teasing, the more you will get teased. I bet those kids were really enjoying themselves seeing you act like a baby in the middle of class.

Today, for example, I was walking in the hallway (after the late bell rang) and I was thinking of some crap that happened briefly ago. At that moment, everything just sucked and I just kicked the ****ing wall as hard as I could.?? Huh? Things just sucked so you kicked the wall? Wtf is wrong with you man what are you like 10 years old? Learn to control your emotions, and stop getting so hung up over the dumbest sh*t. At that moment, a black group was walking and saw me. One of the girls made out a loud as hell burst of surprised laughter that actually hurt my ears. Then they made a bunch of comments like "Haha did chu see that stupid ******* kid? he wuz so stopid!" and all that ****. I looked back and one of them mockingly said "WHA CHU SAY?"
God, ****ing ******s. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to put up with their bull****. So yeah, screw my day. What did you expect them to do? They saw you acting like a little baby all frustrated and upset kicking a wall. Heck, if i was someone in my highschool do that, I would probably laugh my ass off too.

Basically, I'm just asking for a reason to go on. I don't really know if anything I think of will change anything, so I need someone with more experience to come up with something. Right now I don't feel like doing anything because of all this **** in my life and I don't feel like I could ever be okay with anything. I don't see anything for me in the future to look forward to. I don't see the point of any of these goals that I have. I don't want any friends, I don't want any more work. I'm just sick of life. How do I get out of this?Well, the only good thing I can say about this entire post is that at least you do make somewhat of an effort to get out of this situation. You have a lot of change needed, but there is nothing holding you back, and only you will be the deciding factor in how much you can improve your life. I suggest you start out by reading the DJ Bible, and focus mainly on the things involving inner game (happiness, finding hobbies, having confidence, self value, etc.) rather than techniques with women.

Good luck, and trust me, the more you improve your overall attitude, the better you will feel.

 

[Ice882]

you are depressed. seek medical help - seriously. If you are entertaining any thoughts of suicide, it is not the answer. Do you really want to live a short, unfulfilled life and then ruin the lives of the people closest to you on your way out?