"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Don't feel like a man...

DJArlington

Don Juan
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Fellow DJs (well I can't call myself a DJ because I haven't scored a hot babe in a long time) - I want to move cross country to southern California but the problem is that I have an established career here in Washington DC. My family (parents) are also here and as Indian male I feel kind of obliged to stay close by. I mean I don't want to be a bad son. There's nothing worse in life then being a bad son.

My dilemma is between my love for southern California including the opportunities that are available out there and my established career & family in Washington. I just want to LIVE life for once and try something new, meet new people, and get a fresh start. I currently live in a beautiful condo, have all the material things a man can want but for some reason I'm just not happy anymore. I got to work everyday thinking that I could be on the West coast attending MBA school or working for a company in Orange county, heck even starting one of my many business ideas.

Another problem that I"m having (which isn't really a problem) is that I'm inheriting a family business. IT's a very lucrative business and my income is guaranteed to double within three to four years. At my current pace & career path, my income wouldn't double for 10 years. ALso, with the family business, the income potential is actually unlimited. My background is perfect for the business. The PROBLEM is that I have to stay in Washington and I really just don't feel like doing that.

Sorry to keep rambling. I think all of this indecisiveness is keeping me from getting chicks. Let me know what you guys think.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Driven2Succeed

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i'd say u should go to cali.. worst case scenario, u return to DC..

u def gotta chase ur dreams and live without regrets.. if u dont u'll always wonder "what if?"

im kind of facing a similar situation in terms of changing of spots.. right now i'm in Hawaii, where i have been for 3 years now, and i am getting ready to move to north carolina.. im in military so its not quite like starting completely over, but it is a totally new place and a certain level of uncertainty, but i actually welcome it. somtimes u gotta throw urself to the wind and let it take u
 

DJArlington

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Driven2succeed, i like your attitude. I definitely think you gotta take risks in order to success and also not have any regrets. Good luck with your move to North Carolina & of course the war... I think your location said Iraq/Afghanisgtan. Your advice is well taken.
 

flexion_

Master Don Juan
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Make your money and take vacations in southern California.
 

NorPacWolf

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Have You Actually Given This Any Serious Thought?

You are pretty vague about what it is that you "love" about southern california. That's a pretty big region of the country, btw. Is your "love" based on firsthand experience? Is it based on fantasies you've created from tv shows and films and cd's?

A short visit is different from living there indefinitely. I spent some time in "southern california" and I strongly suggest you think through this rationally rather than emotionally. The cost of real estate has skyrocketed in southern california and the traffic situation is difficult to explain. The traffic is so far beyond intolerable and unbearable I simply cannot put it in words.

Driving to get a bottle of orange juice at a grocery store can cause you so much stress you might need to enroll in a one hour yoga class in order to get your bearings again. Then, you'll need to drive to the yoga class, necessitating a two hour yoga class, and then you'll need to drive home and do some more yoga...you get the picture. The air quality inland, in orange county for example, is getting extremely bad also.

You sound like a very young person with a very limited understanding of the ins and outs of living in southern california. You need to do some research first. It's not all peaches and cream, dude.


Wolf


DJArlington said:
Fellow DJs (well I can't call myself a DJ because I haven't scored a hot babe in a long time) - I want to move cross country to southern California but the problem is that I have an established career here in Washington DC. My family (parents) are also here and as Indian male I feel kind of obliged to stay close by. I mean I don't want to be a bad son. There's nothing worse in life then being a bad son.

My dilemma is between my love for southern California including the opportunities that are available out there and my established career & family in Washington. I just want to LIVE life for once and try something new, meet new people, and get a fresh start. I currently live in a beautiful condo, have all the material things a man can want but for some reason I'm just not happy anymore. I got to work everyday thinking that I could be on the West coast attending MBA school or working for a company in Orange county, heck even starting one of my many business ideas.

Another problem that I"m having (which isn't really a problem) is that I'm inheriting a family business. IT's a very lucrative business and my income is guaranteed to double within three to four years. At my current pace & career path, my income wouldn't double for 10 years. ALso, with the family business, the income potential is actually unlimited. My background is perfect for the business. The PROBLEM is that I have to stay in Washington and I really just don't feel like doing that.

Sorry to keep rambling. I think all of this indecisiveness is keeping me from getting chicks. Let me know what you guys think.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Driven2Succeed

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DJArlington said:
Driven2succeed, i like your attitude. I definitely think you gotta take risks in order to success and also not have any regrets. Good luck with your move to North Carolina & of course the war... I think your location said Iraq/Afghanisgtan. Your advice is well taken.
hey dude, thanks..

i definitely think being willing to take a risk and fail is a great thing. what do they say? "u can never fly if ur scared to take a jump" or somthing to that effect..i think failure breeds confidence..

i've failed at some things, but i am always aiming to correct deficiencies and improve ya know? that is the tough part, accepting when u make a mistake..
 

WC2

Master Don Juan
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You cannot live your life being dissatisfied. So many people go through life today doing things they don't want to do; living scripts that their parents or friends have written for them. If you want to be satisfied, you must live YOUR own written script. Not only will this make you happier, but it will make you a better person.

All great men have written their own scripts and lived by them. Sure, they may have stolen from other's scripts and implemented into theirs, but the way they live their life is fully determined by themselves.

While it may not be practical to move out to Cali and leave everything behind, there are certainly ways to START writing your own script.

With the way money is today, you really do need a steady job to keep up with things, and thats OKAY. But you don't want to be working a job you dislike for the rest of your life.

Begin your own side project. Continue with your normal life, but work on something big for yourself in the future. Take a few trips out to Cali and get some things done. Come back, brainstorm and set goals for yourself. Good things do not come quickly. You must dedicate time to what you want to eventually do, and execute when your blueprint fully finished.

Begin with the end in mind. Meaning, do not wonder around aimlessly starting your own endeavor. Instead, establish how you want to end up (take your time with this and think it through) and then begin working on it.

Your parents may frown upon you leaving them. But if they are good parents, they know deep down that you still have you're whole life ahead of you. When your successful leading your own life and or endeavor, they will most likely have a change of heart.

Best of luck
 
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