Don't fall for the bait after nexting

[Uncharted]

I recently nexted a girl because she was displaying low IL. Haven't spoken or texted in about 2 weeks.

She texted me yesterday:

Nexted Girl: Hey haven't talked to you, how have you been?
Dummy: Pretty good actually, going to blah blah blah tonight.... what are you up to?
Nexted Girl: (no response since yesterday)

She was checking to see if she still had me hooked and I fell for it.

When you totally next a girl, make sure that you do not respond to her texts. She is just looking for an ego stroking. You nexted her for a reason, so stick to it.

 

[Tiguere]

fvck her back.. send another texts saying

" helloooo.. are you still alive???.... i wanted to tell you what happened to me the day after we last spoke. if only you knew"

you can word it however you want but the jist is to make her curious.

she will reply quickly to your texts but by the time she responds her number will be gone from your phone.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

One Chance Per Woman Per Lifetime- The Doc Love System

Always stick to your guns. You made a decision now stick to it. Evolution gave you a natural defense mechanism known as the gut feeling and 90% of the time that feeling is right.

I've had many situations in the past where I'll bump into a woman I had nexted after months of NC and I always blank them. These women will be eye fukking me trying to get me to approach them again and I never do. She had her chance with me and she blew it. I never look back and I don't respond to any messages they send me. If you put forth any type of effort they won't respect you because they take it as you forgiving their previous behavior.

1. Women never change
2. She will lose interest in you again

 

[VladPatton]

What it is is that feeling of "what if I was wrong about her?" "Maybe I should be more lenient and open minded". "Hey, you never know, I might bang this chick soon".

It happens to us all, but hey no harm done, and you can only try. The gut feeling, however is not be ignored.

@Dust 2 Dust: The eyeball sex afterwards is just wrong when they do that, man. I know the feeling!

 

[nismo-4]

When I cut a woman off, she is done. I ditched all my exes back in Louisiana and I don't want sh*t to do with any of them. Why the f**k should I backpedal?

When a woman is nexted by you, she'll get another man and use you for an ego boost. When you drop her ass once, don't pick her up.

Case closed.

 

[like2jam]

Nexted Girl: Hey haven't talked to you, how have you been?
Dummy: Pretty good actually, going to blah blah blah tonight.... what are you up to?
Nexted Girl: (no response since yesterday)

That response was a fail. I also wonder how long you waited to send the message back.

First, too much information. She didn't ask you what you were doing tonight. Second, why did you ask her what she's up to? You showed too much interest right off the bat of what she has going on in her world.

If you're gonna reply, keep it short and simple and make her do the work.
Finally, don't say pretty good actually. Just say - freakin' great! or I'm great, or something along those lines. Confident, sure and simple. Don't tell her why you're great and don't tell her what you're doing unless she asks if you're free or whatever. Also, don't be a rush to reply back to her if you haven't heard a peep from her in 2 weeks.

 

[Zarky]

Haven't spoken or texted in about 2 weeks.

She texted me yesterday:

Nexted Girl: Hey haven't talked to you, how have you been?
Dummy: Pretty good actually, going to blah blah blah tonight.... what are you up to?
Nexted Girl: (no response since yesterday)

I don't categorically go NC with girls I dumped for low IL. Though in your case you responded way too soon and the "Pretty good actually" seems a bit forced (why "actually?"). And third, you asked her a question meaning that you were intent on keeping the conversation going. Just came off as way too earnest. "Actually?" I'm still trying to get my head around that. Why did you use that word?

She waited 2 weeks to contact you, you wait at least a week to respond, and you shoot her out a simple phrase like "Doing great, fuzzy face" or something. No question, just a light statement.

OR

You wait that week and then don't even answer her question, just say "Whats up fuzzy face" and see what she says.

EDIT:

Also, look how she framed the convo from the beginning.. "Hey, (I) haven't talked to you." That's her saying that it was her choice not to talk, that she's in control of the situation. If she'd said "Haven't talked with you," or "We haven't talked," it would be quite different.

You've got to analyze sh*t at this level. Women do it naturally. You've got to choose your timing and words very carefully and understand the implication of every word you say.

 

[plate's_empty]

I recently nexted a girl because she was displaying low IL. Haven't spoken or texted in about 2 weeks.

She texted me yesterday:

Nexted Girl: Hey haven't talked to you, how have you been?
Dummy: Pretty good actually, going to blah blah blah tonight.... what are you up to?
Nexted Girl: (no response since yesterday)

She was checking to see if she still had me hooked and I fell for it.

When you totally next a girl, make sure that you do not respond to her texts. She is just looking for an ego stroking. You nexted her for a reason, so stick to it.

Yeah, been there. It's the worst, especially if you haven't even thought about them until you get that text. Then bam! She's got you on hook again. Women.

Great reminder, I'm sure there will plenty of future scenarios for me to be the "dummy".

 

[TheCWord]

I recently nexted a girl because she was displaying low IL. Haven't spoken or texted in about 2 weeks.

She texted me yesterday:

Nexted Girl: Hey haven't talked to you, how have you been?
Dummy: Pretty good actually, going to blah blah blah tonight.... what are you up to?
Nexted Girl: (no response since yesterday)

She was checking to see if she still had me hooked and I fell for it.

When you totally next a girl, make sure that you do not respond to her texts. She is just looking for an ego stroking. You nexted her for a reason, so stick to it.

Hey Uncharted, don't beat yourself up over this. I see it a bit differently.

She texted you out of the blue. You merely responded. She's the one being a weirdo for not replying. You shrug it off - you could've taken or left that conversation, makes no difference to you.

It's not like you're going to start initiating conversations with her. And you know what? If she writes you back again in another 2 weeks, you can feel free to respond again. As long as you are not giving her anything or doing any of the chasing, I don't see what's wrong with standing your ground and responding to her texts to see how much she's willing to chase you.

You see what I'm saying? She may think initiating text conversations is an ego boost to her, but really - it's the boost to you. Because you replied, you didn't initiate. And you don't care if she suddenly ghosts mid-convo. As long as she's always the one initiating and you're not fawning over her over text then, the way I see it, you're the one in control.

 

[Uncharted]

I agree with both sides of the argument here. I'm not sure if I typed "actually". Left phone in car... But in the future I would say something like awesome and keep it short and not ask a question. When I say future I obviously mean other girls.

Not beating myself up, just reminding myself once I next I need to follow through. Interestingly enough we are both going to be at a happy hour/get together tomorrow night. My plan is to be indifferent, not approach her, maybe say hey if we cross paths but then leave to talk to someone else.

Edit: I responded three hours after she sent the text if it makes any difference.

 

[bigneil]

I ended two relationships this month. I dumped the stripper after 18 (slow) months and moved out of the apartment with the Russian girl after 2 (intense) months.

In both cases they were nostalgic a bit (one loved me and one didn't), and I felt bad having to leave them, but they both managed to display their coldness rather quickly.

However, in both cases they sent the last 3 text messages in a row. I think that's about as happy an ending as men can have. Women don't normally experience breakups the way men do, though the girl I left 18 months ago did react exactly the way we often do (AFC). Nothing else can make you realize how bad we look until a girl does it, but it's rare. However she's already married.

Judge Nismo reminded us to never go back, but you really can't ever go back. Once you dump a girl, they will never trust you enough to have your child. They'll sooner marry an AFC orbiter and torture him.

Women have too many options and get attached to the last lay too quickly to really care that much about us.

 

[Uncharted]

Just to update, we were both at the same happy hour as planned (not together). I noticed she tried to make eye contact about 4-5 times and she moved into my field of vision trying to get my attention. When I was leaving, I walked by her, caught her eyes and say "hey". She said "heyyyy..." as if she wanted to have a conversation. I kept walking and left.

Not rude, didn't ignore, just indifferent.

 

[TheCWord]

I walked by her, caught her eyes and say "hey". She said "heyyyy..." as if she wanted to have a conversation. I kept walking and left.

Not rude, didn't ignore, just indifferent.

Well played, sir. That must've felt good. I've gotten that "heyyyy" before as I've walked past a nexted girl, it's too funny.

 

[plate's_empty]

yeah, that takes some cajones, nice work. No AFC would ever be able to pull that off. I guarantee you you got her hampster spinning on that one

 

[JohnChops]

Well played, sir. That must've felt good. I've gotten that "heyyyy" before as I've walked past a nexted girl, it's too funny.

yesssss, that "Heyyyyy' its like "Heyyyyyy come talk to me so i can hook you again big guy"

Great thread btw Uncharted.

 

[PlayHer Man]

Responses to a girl you nexted should be either non-existent of limited to two words. Anything more and you're trying to get her back. Something you should never do.

Here are appropriate responses to a girl you have NEXTED:

- Huh?
- Yes
- No
- Good
- Chillin'
- Busy
- Going out
- Cool
- Thanks
- Lol
- Hah
- What?
- Ok
- And?
- So?
- Eating
- Whatever

 

[Uncharted]

Nice list. Yes it felt good, but on the other hand (most importantly) I could not care less. My old self would have jumped to talk to her. I'm expecting a text at some point and that list will come in handy, if I respond at all.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

I ran into a woman today that I nexted over 5 years ago. I went NC on her when she rebounded back to her ex and left me hanging. When I saw her I initially didn't recognize her because she had a kid with her and she must have packed on at least 40 pounds since I dated her. I definitely dodged a bullet on that one.

 

[djjizzyjeff]

I recently nexted a girl because she was displaying low IL. Haven't spoken or texted in about 2 weeks.

She texted me yesterday:

Nexted Girl: Hey haven't talked to you, how have you been?
Dummy: Pretty good actually, going to blah blah blah tonight.... what are you up to?
Nexted Girl: (no response since yesterday)

She was checking to see if she still had me hooked and I fell for it.

When you totally next a girl, make sure that you do not respond to her texts. She is just looking for an ego stroking. You nexted her for a reason, so stick to it.

I'd pretty much just delete the text and not respond.

Or if you want to send a reply throw it back at them the way they'd do it and send a simple: "lol. Creeper alert." then don't respond to anything else.

 

[Uncharted]

if you want to send a reply throw it back at them the way they'd do it and send a simple: "lol. Creeper alert." then don't respond to anything else.

Hilarious. If a girl I nexted blew up my phone she would get that.