I wanted to share a little story from my current LTR. Early on but after we'd become sort of comfortable with each other, I was putting my girlfriend into her car as she was heading home. I opened up the door for her and as she went to get in, I gave her a quick but firm slap on the ass. She stopped getting into her car, faced me straight upright with a look of surprise on her face and said firmly, "Don't ever do that again!". I noticed on her face she had this very slight smile. It was like shock with this weird smile that didn't seem congruent with anything else that was happening. I hadn't seen a reaction like that from her before and I immediately paid a lot of attention to all of the communication that was happening. I wasn't exactly sure how to react so I just reverted to my go to which is just a ****y smile and say nothing. I left a little bit of time and said, "Night" with a smile on my face and started closing the door which prompted her to get back into the car.
Over the months since then it's something I continued to do quite regularly. There was no sexual context but it's obviously a sexual action. We'd be out at the shops and she'd say something cheeky to me and I'd give her a quick spank and just smile. She must have said "Don't do that again!" a dozen times over the following months. It turned into a bit of a game where she decided to spank me back and she started keeping score. She'd "owe" me one if I'd spanked her within the date. She dropped the "Don't do that again" after a couple of months but still acted a little indignant when I did it. I didn't overuse it, it wasn't every date, it was when context really suited it.
At the time it began I was really just having some fun, but I thought about it later on I started to realize it was pure alpha game. So last night I gave her a quick spank as we were getting into bed and she didn't even react. Totally in my frame. I didn't realize at the time that I was playing the game that way because it's just part of my fun push the boundaries style of flirting, but thinking back on it, this one thing was a particularly powerful interaction between us.
But what I really like about this is that I wasn't exerting control overtly, I wasn't playing a game, I was demonstrating masculine sexuality and dominance without even really thinking about it. I was just having some fun with a woman I am dating.
Over the months since then it's something I continued to do quite regularly. There was no sexual context but it's obviously a sexual action. We'd be out at the shops and she'd say something cheeky to me and I'd give her a quick spank and just smile. She must have said "Don't do that again!" a dozen times over the following months. It turned into a bit of a game where she decided to spank me back and she started keeping score. She'd "owe" me one if I'd spanked her within the date. She dropped the "Don't do that again" after a couple of months but still acted a little indignant when I did it. I didn't overuse it, it wasn't every date, it was when context really suited it.
At the time it began I was really just having some fun, but I thought about it later on I started to realize it was pure alpha game. So last night I gave her a quick spank as we were getting into bed and she didn't even react. Totally in my frame. I didn't realize at the time that I was playing the game that way because it's just part of my fun push the boundaries style of flirting, but thinking back on it, this one thing was a particularly powerful interaction between us.
But what I really like about this is that I wasn't exerting control overtly, I wasn't playing a game, I was demonstrating masculine sexuality and dominance without even really thinking about it. I was just having some fun with a woman I am dating.
