dont create rapport!

[check_mate_kid_uk]

Remember i have said in the past that a girl who sees you around can like you with out you ever talking to her just like you can like a girl you have never spoken to.

If oyu speak to that girl and the convo does not go well and she is not so responsive you blame yourself and think she wont like you and want to fix it.

Im quite convinced the same happens with girls, i have had solid convos with girls who then show no interest in speaking again and i have had 'bad convos' with girls who them seem keen to talk again in the future.

Obviously in the long run you need to have flowing convos, but i think at first, bad convos where you dont talk so much seem to actualy work a lot better then putting effort in to make sure there is never a pause.

 

[( . )( . )]

Obviously in the long run you need to have flowing convos, but i think at first, bad convos where you dont talk so much seem to actualy work a lot better then putting effort in to make sure there is never a pause.

Are you sure you mean rapport?

Talking and building rapport are not one in the same, talking is what? only 7% anyway or something.

I do agree alot of guys shoot themselves in the foot by "talking" though.

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

Rapport or no rapport, im starting to find that initialy talking less seems to build more interest and want to see if others agree.

 

[Hitman10000]

Im quite convinced the same happens with girls, i have had solid convos with girls who then show no interest in speaking again and i have had 'bad convos' with girls who them seem keen to talk again in the future.

That's because they were never interested in you in the first place, even as a real friend! If talking were to build interest, all the AFCs would have girlfriends bowing before them and the "Real Men" staying single and alone and being frustrated.

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

That's because they were never interested in you in the first place, even as a real friend! If talking were to build interest, all the AFCs would have girlfriends bowing before them and the "Real Men" staying single and alone and being frustrated.

Thats true but fact is, forget whether they are interested or not because you can not know, when you talk a lot them get dirven away, when the convo is poor they seem to be more interested!

 

[blueguy]

So, let me get this straight. Just unzip your pants and fvck them right there on the spot? Yes?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

That's because they were never interested in you in the first place, even as a real friend! If talking were to build interest, all the AFCs would have girlfriends bowing before them and the "Real Men" staying single and alone and being frustrated.

 

[Taviii]

What do you want? Not talking so much and keeping ONE girl slightly interested then if you would have talked or developing your skills and after some time being able to talk and build attraction in every girl?

If you just want the girl than don't talk, if you want to develop yourself into a Don Juan then improvement should be your number 1 priority.

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

But Tavii the reason the girls like you when oyu dont talk is because you are not conceding, you are letting them do the work.

 

[JJMcLure]

This is terrible advice. The goal of virtually any interaction is build rapport (even neg hits are just to actively break rapport before building it).

It sounds to me like in the past you were blabbering and talking too much, so now you are talking less and that's improved your results. Or you were trying too hard and it came across as needy, which will definitely be a turn off. It's basic knowledge that you should let the chick do most of the talking and you should be a bit of a "mystery" (careful with that though).

From what you've said I think you might have a distorted take on what a "good" or "bad" convo is. Get some pickup videos or get out with some other guys who are good at PU to see what a good convo actually is, so you can calibrate.

But trying not to build rapport is just plain wrong, maybe you phrased what you're trying to say wrong or you've misinterpreted your results. Maybe what you meant to say was "don't try too hard and come across as desperate" or "don't appear dependent on the outcome".

 

[Randomer]

I don't get it... you tryin to say don't talk? Or don't create rapport? not creating rapport is wrong on every single level. As far as the talking goes, don't overtalk but a good convo is obviously... gonna be better than a poor one =/ How long you think you're gonna see a girl that you can't even have decent conversations with?

 

[S1NN3R]

Remember i have said in the past that a girl who sees you around can like you with out you ever talking to her just like you can like a girl you have never spoken to.

Yeah, that's called a Proximity Infatuation.

If oyu speak to that girl and the convo does not go well and she is not so responsive you blame yourself and think she wont like you and want to fix it.

This should be evidence that you need to be a better conversationalist, not that you should limit your talking and have only "bad convos". It can be very difficult to build attraction with little to no verbal exchange. Talking is not conceeding, it's talking. Stop reading into things so much.

Im quite convinced the same happens with girls, i have had solid convos with girls who then show no interest in speaking again and i have had 'bad convos' with girls who them seem keen to talk again in the future.

So then, from an outside viewpoint, I would say again, you need to work on your conversation skills. If every girl drops the hammer and runs away the first time you open your mouth, it's not automatically because you talked too much, it's because what you said didn't jive with her. You see this as a bad thing, most of the rest of us see it as a good thing. It's screening. If you can't talk to her now successfully, you won't be able to talk to her later successfully either, so not talking to her now is not solving the problem, it's delaying it.

Obviously in the long run you need to have flowing convos, but i think at first, bad convos where you dont talk so much seem to actualy work a lot better then putting effort in to make sure there is never a pause.

Obviously, it depends on what your intentions are. If you're just looking to bang a tourist, then by all means, keep your mouth shut and say only what you need to say to get her back to her hotel room. If you're looking to date the girl, then you need to open your mouth and say a lot as soon as you can, because it's better to find out that you don't work IMMEDIATELY and move on to put your effort into more worthwhile foxes than it is to keep quiet just to maintain that illusion of compatibility.

That's not to say that too much talking won't hurt you though. If all you do is talk, you're never going to progress anywhere, you have to escalate every chance you get. But honestly, if you never talk or only have bad conversations, you're not going to be afforded that chance to escalate.

I hate to say it, because I think your intentions were good with this thread, but this is horrible advice, and you should really be learning, not teaching at this stage, because if you can't even talk to a woman without her running off and not wanting to have anything to do with you, you've got some problems that you need to work on.

 

[hamelech]

I would definitely say body language is much more important...

 

[sorin]

Hi.
It's very important to lead in a conversation.
That doesn't necessarily mean you have to talk a lot... It's really good to make her talk about herself, open up but also share stories about yourself. Show interest... that you care... and want to know the story of her life... that might mean talking less and is ok.

But if you just talk rubbish... or she talks superficial stuff... then you're going nowhere...

get to know her... connect to her... with few or more words...

enjoy!

Rapport or no rapport, im starting to find that initialy talking less seems to build more interest and want to see if others agree.

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

This is not to do with my conversational skill because i am just fine, girls i know like to talk to me and consider me funny. I did used to talk too much but the fact its not about limiting convo for the sake of it, its the fact that if i lead the convo and basicly talk to her and keep bridging the convo, it does not work aswell as if i let her do it and if she doesnt then let it fail, since its not important what you say its the whether or not you are chasing.

Im not saying to sabotage the convo, this is about not showing enough interest to make an effort.

You know how sometimes a girl will talk to you loads even follow you around, when you talk a lot even if shes being very receptive to you, its exactly the same, your just putting yourself out to her on a plate.

Girls say they want a guy with a certain personality, but if you convey that persaonlity whilst talking to her freind, she will like it as much as if you convyed it to her, yet she will feel like she has to chase you since you gave her no attention.