DonJuanabe is back

[DonJuanabe]

My forum name is spelled differently (was formerly Don_Juanabe).

It has been a decade since I was last on this site. Guys like ChrisFl, Pook, Peak, BondJamesBond, Anti-Dump, and others were here when I was active long ago. A lot of their stuff is in the Bible.

I can tell you guys that I've grown a heck of a lot. Had a seven year relationship with a girl 13 years younger than me (big mistake regardless of what you think -- take my advice don't date a girl of a different generation) which ended in mid-2010. A few short term datings, wouldn't call any of them a relationship. When I go on a date, if I had a good time, I go for the kiss. No thinking, no worrying about what she might think, just do it. Why wouldn't you???

Being a little disappointed over dating at the moment I decided to hop back on and see what is going on.

DJbe

 

[Viagra4Soul]

I can tell you guys that I've grown a heck of a lot. Had a seven year relationship with a girl 13 years younger than me (big mistake regardless of what you think -- take my advice don't date a girl of a different generation) which ended in mid-2010. A few short term datings, wouldn't call any of them a relationship. When I go on a date, if I had a good time, I go for the kiss. No thinking, no worrying about what she might think, just do it. Why wouldn't you???

Being a little disappointed over dating at the moment I decided to hop back on and see what is going on.

DJbe

Welcome back I guess.

I am new here, and have an IDENTICAL story to your's on the LTR. Same age diff, same time period, a slightly later end (early 2011).

I'm still enjoying dating at 46 - plates are starting to spin, my body is in the best condition of its life and I'm lighting up girls 10 years my junior.

Life is good. Hope you feel better.

 

[Die Hard]

Welcome back, my man!

When I read older threads where Jophil, Rollo, str8up, Slickster etc. got into heavy debates, I get the feeling this forum is a shadow of what it has once been... We need some more troops, especially veterans with a lot of combat experience, like you.

I'm curious, how old are you? And could you expand on the reason why you currently feel disappointed over dating?

 

[DonJuanabe]

I am 42. I was originally on this forum in fall/winter of 2000, shortly after going through major heartache after a girlfriend broke up with me. The threads were amazing, real pros helping each other. I can't speak to what the forum is today since I've not really been part of it, but I can say it was AWESOME back then. Anti-Dump (whom many people thought was actually Doc Love -- yes, THAT Doc Love) really helped me with one of his posts about protecting your heart. Back then I was emotionally immature. If you think about it, in large part heartache is what makes you a man because it provides the impetus for emotional growth, and one thing that separates a man from a boy is emotional maturity.

I am disappointed because I look for two very specific things in a girl: 1) nerdy/geeky and 2) endurance athlete (not to get in shape but because she already is in shape and it is part of her lifestyle). This is a choice by me because these two characteristics largely define my lifestyle and I'd like to be with someone with whom I can share that lifestyle. I have a couple of friends from work I could date -- and they've been dropping hints for a very long time -- but neither of them is an endurance athlete. Recently, via online dating, I met a girl who not only fit my two parameters, she was also very pretty, say an 8.5 out of 10, and we had really good banter, laughter, and communication, both in email and actual date.

Prior to getting together, she was forthright in telling me she had recently met someone with potential but wasn't sure where it would go, and in the end decided to date him. I am not angry with her nor do I hold anything against her (feelings are what they are, they are neither right nor wrong; just as you might feel more attraction for one girl over another, the same occurs with girls and how they feel about guys). I am just disappointed because I thought I had found the kind of girl I want to date (and, as bonus, was hot), but in the end that isn't going to happen.

 

[Viagra4Soul]

You have a narrow criteria, which is fine, just means you'll need to wait longer than most.

They (plural) are out there - she won't be the last.

 

[Krazy]

Welcome back!
I'm new to this board and it's a good thing to know this place has people on it with pickup/dating experience. I was concerned it was filled with people mostly like me who just a little experience and it mostly being hit or miss.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Hey DJ, I remember you from back in the day. Welcome back. Things have changed here somewhat but that is partially because society itself and male/female dynamics have changed. Or shall I say further disintegrated?

A lot of the nostalgia for the good old days around here is actually a slightly overly-romanticised memory of the necessary pioneering work that was done. Now we are in a certain phase II, where we have identified the challenges we face and are coming up with strategies and tactics to build ourselves into powerful men first, and dealing with women second.

 

[blueeyedgent]

I am disappointed because I look for two very specific things in a girl: 1) nerdy/geeky and 2) endurance athlete (not to get in shape but because she already is in shape and it is part of her lifestyle). This is a choice by me because these two characteristics largely define my lifestyle and I'd like to be with someone with whom I can share that lifestyle. I have a couple of friends from work I could date -- and they've been dropping hints for a very long time -- but neither of them is an endurance athlete. Recently, via online dating, I met a girl who not only fit my two parameters, she was also very pretty, say an 8.5 out of 10, and we had really good banter, laughter, and communication, both in email and actual date.

Do you run in a marathon group or something like that? I've met some stunning women thru mine. Where else can you get hours of face time with the HB8+'s?

And make them compete for your lovin'?

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Welcome back man--I would be interested to see what this forum had been like years ago...SS is quite an interesting place on the internet.

I am sorry to hear about your 7 year LTR that ended, I know that is probably rough. I know too you probably have learned a great number of things from the relationships you've had and the experiences you've had.

The very best only lies ahead of you.

This board has helped me grow a lot via the comments of others. I would warn people to only use it as a place of discourse, for the real learning comes from the real world. But hey--scientists and artists and thinkers engage in discourse for a reason...new perspectives...sharing of experience...new ideas....all can benefit a person aiming to better 'understand'.

Welcome brotha!

 

[DonJuanabe]

Buddha:

Look at the Hall of Fame posts -- many of them are from the guys who were on the forum in the 2000 timeframe. I even have one!

I did not have any problems or remorse when the 7 year ended. It was for the best and I did not want to marry the girl. If anything I regretted lost opportunities during that time -- there were three or four that I could not pursue because of the gf. I guess I could have cheated, but then why not just end things instead? Cheating isn't my style and, for that matter, shouldn't be anyone's style.

I'd actually make a point of that: if you know you are in a relationship that isn't going to go anywhere just end it. Sure, you gotta put in the work at times, but if you know in your heart she isn't the right girl don't stay in it just because it's easy or you are lazy. Even if she is hot, which, without a doubt, my ex-gf was/is.