Done With People's Arrogance

[FutureSpartan]

I was hanging out with a few of my pledge brothers at their house and it seemed that I was being excluded from their interaction. Everytime I tried to chime in on the convo they seemed to just brush me off

My knee-jerk response would have been to try and regain their validation by talking more. But I just took a step back and observed what toxic personalities they had before realizing it was not me, but them.

They seemed to have this "world revolves around me" attitude. They were excessively bragging and trying to be funny. They also talked sh*t about some of the other pledge brothers. I left the house and realized that I was dealing with grown men with the emotional maturity of a 14 year old.

A friend of mine tried to pull the same sh*t on me. I tried to get his validation by hanging out at his house often. When I realized how much I was disrespecting myself by doing this, I stopped going over to his house and calling him. I started hanging out with new people, and now he keeps blowing up my phone wanting to chill.

I tried to be buddy-buddy with some guys at work, and they did the same thing, started distancing from me. I pulled back and did my own thing, and now they show me much more respect.

I caught myself almost trying to seek validation from these arrogant losers, but realized that I respected myself enough to not care what they thought about me. They are now on my sh*t list. I will be curt and civil with them, but they aint getting no pats on the back, handshakes, or me laughing at their stupid jokes.

How do you guys deal with this kind of behavior?

 

[Stuntmann]

I don't surround my life with people like that.


On these forums there are numerous personalities like that. Just read my "this guy is in serious trouble" post. Toxic sons of a b1tches.


How to deal with them? They'd be speaking sh1t, and then there is a place that sh1t is coming from, speak directly to that. Else ignore them. Because some of the posts don't even worth my reply. That much low and immature, and ugly.


In person to person, I never try to gain anyone's approval. I'm not one of those sheep. In situations like that, I just stick out as something else. Either accept me, or not.


What's a pledge brother?

 

[KontrollerX]

I hate fraternities.

I understand why people join em and all (alcohol, pvssy, occasionally a noble cause).

But yeah ultimately they are a waste of time and for people that cannot stand on their own.

You are better off without those fools.

"How do you guys deal with this kind of behavior?"

I don't and neither do you anymore.

 

[FutureSpartan]

I hate fraternities.

I understand why people join em and all (alcohol, pvssy, occasionally a noble cause).

But yeah ultimately they are a waste of time and for people that cannot stand on their own.

You are better off without those fools.

"How do you guys deal with this kind of behavior?"

I don't and neither do you anymore.

I've been thinking about it...but there are still a bunch of cool guys in there so as long as I stay away from those losers I'll be ok.

 

[Poonani Maker]

Go find some Christian houses on campus. They won't leave you. They're usually nerds or studying to be mechanical, electrical, civil, or chemical engineers. While they were quite smarter than me, they didn't treat me like an outcast at all and we did A LOT more things together, like skiing, hiking, parties, spur of the moment ****, eating out at various places, and of course devotionals, than any fraternity could do. In these places there were girls, A LOT of girls yet most of them with ideas of marriage and logically leaned ruled-up, but there's always a couple who'll put out before marriage, even get tatoos/belly nose and tongue rings.

 

[Stuntmann]

^^^ AhEM!!!! Give us an example, just a little sample.



The underlying stuff is always "you suck, and I'm soo fly." "I'm fly because you suck."

 

[CanuckinSK]

Just try not to associate with these kind of people, whenever possible. I've been around guys like that, they talk to you when their arrogant friends aren't around, but then are quick to give you the cold shoulder when someone of a 'higher social status' (in their eyes, anyway) shows up. Shallow people, real shallow...

 

[FutureSpartan]

Aloofness is so effective against these types of people.

Once they see that you won't tolerate their bad behavior and are willing to walk away at split notice, they try to suck up to you.

Its funny, yet sad. They are so dependant on the validation of others that they can't stand to be ignored or brushed off. They are very insecure at heart. Easily manipulated if you ask me.

 

[Ken785]

i used to hang out people like that i thought were my "friends". they would try to belittle me in front of girls that might have been interested or people that thought i was cool to lower my value. fvck those types of people. sometimes its even your ow cousins that will do that to you.

 

[TheHumanist]

^^^ AhEM!!!! Give us an example, just a little sample.



The underlying stuff is always "you suck, and I'm soo fly." "I'm fly because you suck."

Not sure if it fits, but just today I went with my roommate to this Catholic center. We ended up going out and playing hide and go seek at an open area (but with lots of bushes and buildings to hide). I also met a girl who is a CS major. They seem pretty cool and have more than just drinking on their minds.

Though as a disclaimer, I have not been around frats around here, maybe they are the same. Maybe I haven't see the Catholics true colors (but my roommate been around them longer).

 

[killbill]

Hey dude good job. I know how that is. People are just plain dumb sometimes that why I have to stay away from them sometimes. Im not saying all people are dumb just some.

I basically did the same thing as you, I quit hanging out with the ones that brushed me off..after awhile I just though they were lame and immature.

 

[Poonani Maker]

i used to hang out people like that i thought were my "friends". they would try to belittle me in front of girls that might have been interested or people that thought i was cool to lower my value. fvck those types of people. sometimes its even your ow cousins that will do that to you.

True that. I moved a 1000 miles away from my whole family because they didn't respect me. Best decision I ever made to become a Man, on my own. People who don't support you go in the gutter, I don't care who they are. Hell, join a cult if you have to.

 

[Obsidian]

It sounds like you're getting the hang of things nicely, Spartan. I lot of people are like that, and it's important to avoid them. I deal with this same issue.

This should almost be in Tips.

 

[ER!C L!VE]

One really fast way to get respect in a house is to get puzzy. You go out and bring some chicks or a chick back to the frat house regularly and the dudes will all wanna be your homie.

I had a revolving door of girlies in my room and my bros were in awe. They treated me with respect (at least to my face). You'll always have people talking shyt behind your back - nothing you can do about that.

Just go out, get laid and the dudes will want to be you. You'll have dude groupies and you'll be the leader in a new clique within the house. :cheer:

Phi Phi K A

 

[FutureSpartan]

One really fast way to get respect in a house is to get puzzy. You go out and bring some chicks or a chick back to the frat house regularly and the dudes will all wanna be your homie.

I had a revolving door of girlies in my room and my bros were in awe. They treated me with respect (at least to my face). You'll always have people talking shyt behind your back - nothing you can do about that.

Just go out, get laid and the dudes will want to be you. You'll have dude groupies and you'll be the leader in a new clique within the house. :cheer:

Phi Phi K A

haha...very true.

Kappa Sigma

 

[nicenomore]

One really fast way to get respect in a house is to get puzzy. You go out and bring some chicks or a chick back to the frat house regularly and the dudes will all wanna be your homie.

I had a revolving door of girlies in my room and my bros were in awe. They treated me with respect (at least to my face). You'll always have people talking shyt behind your back - nothing you can do about that.

Just go out, get laid and the dudes will want to be you. You'll have dude groupies and you'll be the leader in a new clique within the house. :cheer:

Phi Phi K A

true ... very true....

people always talk shyt behind you.. i've learned it's a part of life.

Avoid people who treat you like shyt. They're not worth it. I'd say I'm one of the most unpopular guys around in my college , just 'cuz i dont give shyt to the so called "cool guys".. They hate me , 'cuz I'm the one who calls spadde a spade and doesn't give them validation.